Thank God: The elegant New Yorkers are coming to save our very souls - and in the knick of time

If I didn't know better, I'd swear the Globe advertising department wrote that gigantic big-wet-kiss Style story in the Globe about the new Barney's opening up, the story that basically screamed "HA HA, YOU'RE A LOSER BECAUSE YOU CAN'T COME TO OUR PARTY, NYAH, NYAH" even as it flung around phrases such as hip jeunesse doree (WTF?) and made it sound like, THANK GOD Barney's is finally here to rescue us, now that we've managed, somehow, to climb out of the primoridal ooze that has been our sorry state in life for the past several centuries and we've finally stopped dressing like the Pilgrims:

Women in Boston are very fashionable. They know what's groovy and what's not. It would be an out-of-date approach to dumb things down for a Boston audience.

The Reluctant Houswife enthuses:

... We are on the map at last! I'm sure my invitation to the opening is in the mail. Never mind that the thought of spending $700 for stilettos and then walking out onto the chemically treated, yet still icy, streets of our fair town while carrying a child and a diaper bag is about as ridiculous an image as I can conjure. Ha ha! Imagine the fun when my new Manolos get all salty and wet as I fall flat on my ass! ...

Oh come on, you really think I would have had anything to do with that story?