Guess not.

Something to be proud of, one supposes.

Maybe Kevin Cullen has finally returned from his extended summer vacation and is going to start writing thoughtful columns about life in Boston, like today's column on putting a year's worth of woes for Boston firefighters in perspective. One can hope, anyway.

That would certainly explain why he spent a total of 15 minutes writing today's column - a new set of insults for "Herr Whacko" - rather than doing any original reporting:

And Clark, just one more thing: When you look at the visitors' log at Nashua Street jail, and see an empty space, you'll know it was me.

Quite so.

Quite so? Yep, that's going to be some piece Kev is working on.

Earlier:
Herr, herr, herr.

Furthering my thesis that Kevin Cullen would make a great blogger is today's column, the top half of which involves his reaction to people writing him to tell him Delaware was not a Confederate state. You can just picture him down in ma's basement, going "Oh, yeah?!? I'll show YOU, you SOBs! I'm so gonna blog about this!" You know, just like when Boston Magazine was sort of mean to him.

Bonus Cullen weekly column count:

Columns about Delaware: 2
Columns about Boston:   0

Adam Reilly counsels him:

Yo, Kevin--As a Globe metro columnist, you've got one of the best jobs in Boston journalism. But you're supposed to write about Boston, not yourself. The next time someone points out that you made a factual error, just acknowledge it in a straightforward way. Don't waste 670 words explaining why it wasn't a big deal. ...

Satirist. Social commentator. Sports reporter. And now, travel writer. Yeeha, let's all jump in the car and drive to the Delaware State Fair! Oh, but let's get a copy of the Herald so we can keep up with what's happening back in Boston.

Is Kevin Cullen now auditioning for a job at the Herald?

Never have the good people of Richmond met more guys wearing Sansabelt pants and reeking of halitosis that could melt the glaciers. Folks at roadside farm stands report of men roughly the size of manatees emerging from cars with low-number license plates to ask in barely discernible accents the same question: "Where's the closest packie?"

After getting directions, our honorable representatives, without exception, asked a follow-up: "How late they open?"

Points for gratuitous cheap shots; demerits for just making stuff up.

Now that we've taken the mask off of Clark Rockefeller and revealed one Christian Karl Gerhartsreiter underneath, the Glob's resident chappy Kevin Cullen activates his Smug Powers and writes a column mocking Gerhartsreiter and most of Germany, for that matter. And when Cullen gets going, you better batten down the comedy hatches because no vaguely Teutonic pop culture figure is safe! Even California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger doesn't escape Kevin's irreverent jabs and goofy names. I don't know how he does it, but coming up with "Governor Terminator" is a true feat of skill no matter who you are or which newspaper you're working for.

And for those of you keeping score, here is a list of hilarious names which Cullen, taking a page from the Howie Carr School of Columnistin', uses to refer to the faux Rockefeller:

Herr Gerhartsreiter
Herr Whackjob
Herr Loony
Herr Rockefeller

You can tell he's German because Kevin uses "Herr" a lot!

By day, he's an amazing reporter, writing wonderful articles, but by night, he's busy complaining about Manny Ramirez and riffing on stuff he read in the Herald.

Kevin Cullen says this story was hard to write. But even though you know how it ends, you'll read it to the end.