Curt Schilling doesn't think much of Dan Shaughnessy's take on contracts in the Age of Coach Jags:

So CHB chimes in on the BC coaching fiasco in about as timely a fashion as reporting on the Lincoln Assassination at the outbreak of WWI. Sweet. In the world of hypocrites he’s vaulted to the top spot. ...

Oh, snap. Schilling, who sometimes maybe, just maybe, doesn't know when to shut up, then goes on and on about what a loser Shaughnessy is, with copious examples from his coverage of the Red Sox dating back to Roger Clemens days.

And, of course, what would a CHB column be without some 1960s-era song lyrics? And what would a Shank column that isn't about the Sox be without a Sox reference (quick: Who else thought Vesa Toskala's stint was "shorter than a Tim Wakefield playoff start"?) Dan Shaughnessy Watch provides the painful details.

Sox now 0-2 following that column.

From today's CHB column on Manny Ramirez:

"Trust me when I tell you that Sox wins and losses have zero bearing on my happiness."

In his lecture to the damn kids on his lawn today about how they don't realize how good they have it, CHB writes:

One of the reasons we immortalize the 1967 Red Sox is because they brought playoff games to Fenway Park for the first time in 19 autumns.

No, that's not one of the reasons we immortalize the 1967 Red Sox, because Major League Baseball didn't institute regular playoffs until 1969.

Beth: It's not the same as Oct. 17, 2003, but these past couple days, for at least a minute or two, some people have had a faraway look in their eyes.

Adam Pieniazek will not be deterred; predicts the Patriots will win the Super Bowl.

Lewis Forman explains how the Fenway sold-out record has come at the cost of a piece of the soul of Sox fandom:

... It's less of a game and more a destination. It becomes classic blue hats vs. pink hats instead of right handed relief vs. left handed relief. Clam Chowder vs. gourmet pizza instead of a hot dog vs. a box of popcorn. People watching vs. GAME watching.

Papel-blog comes back from an extended blogging break:

The Red Sox are engaged in a three-game set to determine who will emerge in first place in the AL East, and I can't spend the duration of the series making jokes about Derek Jeter's sexual orientation in order to cope. And judging from what went down in Foxboro on Sunday, football is not going to be the stress-reducing distraction from the pennant race that it has been in previous years.

Kristen writes:

I would like to personally thank the Red Sox for at least temporarily, lifting the spirits of a grieving region. Jason Bay would not want us to cry, people. Jason Bay would want us to be happy. And Jonathan Papelbon would probably make some obscene sock puppets to get us laughing again if he thought that'd work. ...

And, of course, no matter what, we'll always have Debbie CHB Downer to tell us what to think:

Dan likes to portray New England fans as little more than infantile sycophants with a lack of perspective. ...

Indeed, harrumphs Soxaholix:

... Let me get this straight, the same fans who endured 86 years of Red Sox futility *and* years of the Patriots as also rans "are lost boys and lost girls"? ...

Dan Kennedy doesn't think Lobel has provided enough proof for his serious allegation against Manny Ramirez (that Ramirez took a dive in an at-bat against Mariano Rivera to protest a huge fine for knocking down the team traveling secretary).

Meanwhile, Dan Shaughnessy admits he reads blogs, in a column in which the CHB airs out his perpetual grievance against Ramirez without ever actually saying Lobel is right. Neat Shanky trick.

Jeff Louderbeck isn't buying Lobel's version, either:

... Like many members of the Boston sports media, Lobel has little credibility. Much like Dan Shaughnessy does with his written words, Lobel stirs the pot with his mouth, speaking before thinking. In fact, Lobel's words have already been dismissed by one of the few credible Boston media members, Gordon Edes of the Boston Globe. According to Edes' 3:46 p.m. post on the Extra Bases blog, Ramirez' fine was wildly overstated. ...

Which makes one wonder why Shaughnessy felt compelled to lead with Lobel's version.

Jimmy: If McCormick is fine with it, we should also be fine with it.

Red wonders if we're really seeing a sudden personality change or some management propaganda to set us all up for them not re-signing Manny when his contract's up.

'Course, what do they know down there in ma's basement? The Real Sports Writer, a.k.a. CHB, DEMANDS ACTION NOW; his only question is: Firing squad or hangman?

After a day of pretending to be happy, the true CHB is back, with a column reminding us that it's all downhill from here, that Boston teams used to really, really suck, that kids today just can't appreciate how badly those teams used to suck back in the last century and that Bill Belichick sure sucks.

Meanwhile, Seth Gitell wonders why no special Celtics section in the Globe today.

Shaughnessy's hoping against hope, now that the royalties on his Curse books are dwindling down.