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Restraining order hell
I once heard two women discussing restraining orders on a subway platform. One said to the other "If you want your man back, put a restraining order on him." Perverse, but common. Many use restraining orders not to keep their lover away, but to control their behavior. Essentially, "Do as I say (don't drink, don't screw around, don't stay out late) or I'll call the cops." You see this in court along with the real cases of abuse.
While restraining orders are necessary, there is a lot of abuse fueled by the desire for revenge and control. Judges mostly rubber-stamp complainant's allegations without question.
With Good Reason
Why do judges issue these orders? Gee, Deselby, why don't you look up "Heffernan" and "King". In the 1980s they both made the same allegation that you are making in the direction of women who entered their court, berating them for "wasting court time" and saying "I don't see no bruises on you" to a woman wearing a winter coat. Telling them they must hate their men and should be nicer to them. Etc.
The women were brutally murdered within days of their final dressing down for "wasting court time".
Nice storytelling about "what women must be thinking" yet again ... You're such a PSYCHIC! Oh, yeah, you "overheard it on the T". Nice dramatic device. What sort of evo-psych tainted misogyny will you have for an encore?
Jesus Christ Swirly. Take a
Jesus Christ Swirly. Take a chill pill.
Are you really trying to say that there aren't vindictive, manipulative women out there who would take advantage of the fact that they can get restraining orders against their beaus in an attempt to control them?
A Little History
Can women be vindictive shits? Sure. That isn't my issue here.
A certain poster likes to pop up anytime there is something posted about rape, restraining orders, etc. and regurgitate "truthy tidbits" that he "heard" or "saw" (but trace to urban legends) that all stem from the assertion that women are bitches who lie about rape and violence to control or defame men.
Since he's so consistent, I'm going to call him out as he posts them. Feel free to search the internet to find the many places these "stories" he tells pop up, verbatim. Legendary!
In all fairness...
In all fairness SwirlyGirl, has there ever been a full population study on how many men and boys have been falsely accused of:
- sexual assault
- sexual harassment
- domestic violence (and everything else restraint orders deal with)
Perhaps false allegations are, in fact, fairly common. That would explain why you are going to have to deal with lots of men who react viscerally when these stories come up.
Man-hater
"Swirlygrrl," is a know-it-all who obviously hates men and cops. She replies on almost every article (get off the computer and get a life girl) and usually says something mean/negative towards men and/or cops.
Out-of-office Reply
Message from the automated attendant on Mon 13 Oct 2008 11:15am EDT (GMT-5):
SwirlyGrrl is currently traveling for business and may not be available to respond to ad-hominem attacks until Tuesday, 20 October 2008.
Thank you for your patience.
Unconstitutional, for starters
No, he's not making an "accusations", he's citing a specific conversation where one woman instructs the other in the use of a restraining order as a weapon.
MA has the "toughest" laws on restraining orders in the nation. All you need to is a)be female and b)convince a judge that you're "afraid".
So. Are you for gender equality...or not? Because guess who is almost always on the barrel end of those restraining orders, and guess who is on the stock&trigger end?
Don't even get me started on the use of rape accusations as a weapon; the FBI found in '91 that the false accusation rate is around 8%, four times higher than for other crimes, despite the repeated claims by feminists that rape has a false reporting rate equal to other crimes (2%.)
Identity Issue?
Does this distinguish between true "false accusation" (Duke Case) and "mistaken identity" (too many cases before rape kits sorted it)?
If not, then the true "vindictive or insane false accusation" rate is likely to be much lower than stated.
false reporting rate
...was considered by the FBI to be cases where it was PROVEN that the victim had made a false accusation. Google will tell you the exact criteria they used.
Another fun fact: there's a case of a guy who was raped while passed out drunk. The rapist (successfully) got child support, despite multiple witnesses testifying that she'd repeatedly said she raped him to get pregnant.
It went pretty high up the court system, and he lost. Why? The courts felt it was important that they not create different "classes" of children. Ie, they should all be equally entitled to half their daddy's paycheck for 20 years, even if mommy was a sexual offender.
Now, how the fuck about THAT for "victim's rights"? Funny how feminists collectively hit the ceiling and raise holy hell because Sarah Palin's city made rape victims pay for their own rape kits...but a dude gets raped and nailed for child support for 20 years and they all fall silent...
The key word in your concluding clause
is "a".
"...but a dude gets raped..." etc.
They all fall silent cause it's happened like one-in-a-million times. And Sarah Palin should be taken to task if she knew about what the city was doing- it's indecent, regardless of political persuasion.
It's funny how many guys say "yeah, BUT men DO get beaten up by women, or raped too, you know" when the subject is raised.
Sorry to generalize, but listen - we're largely OK. Men really don't have to worry about these things happening to us, you know? I mean really, do we? So what's the point of bringing it up?
raping and assaulting men
i agree that the raping of a man by a woman would be a rare case.however, there are many incidents where women strike men with fists or the kitchen sink and the guy is the one who is punished.ive had several friends that have been hit by numerous items by numerous different women.the guy comes home late, wife is pissed, husband doesnt want to fight, wife/gf cracks him in the head with something.somebody calls 911 and by the time they arrive the woman is "in fear for her life" unlucky husband/BF is headed to jail or someplace else for the night. the next day the restraining order is in place and now he cant live in the house he pays for. i know this is not the case with most domestic abuse cases but i have seen good guys kicked out of their own homes under similar circumstances
"many" "several" "numerous" "something" "most" ...
Not trying to be rude, but what is the point?
I'd just like to put the thought out there that complaining about restraining orders in a general sense is usually just a distraction from the reality of the situation: that domestic violence continues unchecked too often, and that muddling the issue doesn't make it go away.
male rape is one-in-a-million?
They all fall silent cause it's happened like one-in-a-million times
Actually, no. If you look, you find it's happened quite often, both male rape and cases where men have been raped and then found themselves paying child support (nor custody rights.) And when female rape is considered to be falsely reported anywhere from 8% to 90% of the time (studies varied wildly, but yes, some found NINETY PERCENT of rape accusations were falsified), it really puts in perspective male rape victims.
Men really don't have to worry about these things happening to us, you know? I mean really, do we?
All parties agree that domestic violence and sexual assault against men is widely if not almost entirely under/unreported, because of societal pressure and the complete and utter lack of 'infrastructure' to deal with it.
There's no such thing as a "men's domestic violence shelter", there's no such thing as a "male rape kit", etc. And guess what? And all the rape councilors...are female! Most rape-defense classes are women-only, etc.
For the last fifty to sixty years we've been preached at by the ditzy feminist movement that men are inferior and somehow women don't commit violent or sexual assault...
I see it happen all the time
Women use the restraing order to get what they want (custody/rent/money/etc). But that is not the case most of the time.
More often than not you see women that are too scared of their husbands/boyfriends to even get the help they need from these orders. Thats the real sad part.