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Hey, Channel 5, was that really necessary?

I mean, really! Did you have to blare "STATE CHEATED WORKERS" in one of those cut-outty slider things right in the middle of "How the Grinch Stole Christmas"? Do you think the sort of people likely to watch that show would even be allowed to stay up to see your report, which you'd already plugged the hell out of during commercial breaks? No roast beast for you!

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I was so annoyed by that sort of thing this year, that I bought the Christmas classics, namely Bass/Rankin specials, used on DVD. Commercial free, uninterrupted, no ads popping up during the show... so much better!

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I don't have a TV, and I have to say that each time I visit my in-laws, I am astounded by how much more difficult it gets each year to actually watch a program on a TV. The commercials got longer, the HDtv/non-HD channel problems makes the aspect ration go haywire, and all sorts of weird things keep poking in at random intervals.

I can imagine that, pretty soon, all TV will be "interactive," which means that watching TV will involve Flash popups that you have to click on to make them go away, sticky ribbon crawls that you have to reconfigure every time you change the channel, and if you accidentally flick past the porno channel, you'll get spam boxes full of low-res humping that won't go away even when you switch back to the Family Channel...

Your HDMI Cables aren't MOnster Cables! Click to ORDER!!!

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Yikes. They really do pummel you with their special report stuff, don't they. I didn't even realize exactly how bad it was until I was interviewed for one of these things.

I went to a bar with 27 TV screens the night the ads went into heavy rotation. My face, my voice, people turning to stare at me ... arrrggghhh!

Malkovich malkovich malkovich ...

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