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Three alleged suburban dumbasses break into cruise boat at Rowes Wharf with bottle of vodka; all arrested, one after being fished out of the harbor, into which he jumped despite not knowing how to swim, police say

Boston Police report some boys up from Bridgewater yesterday decided to cap off their night by heading down to Rowes Wharf and breaking into the Valiant, a cruise boat docked there.

Around 2:50 this morning, somebody spotted them in the act and called 911.

Upon arrival, the officers observed two suspects, later identified as Zachary Whiting, 19, of Bridgewater and Lawrence Kirlis, 18, of Bridgewater, standing on the bow of the 97-foot-long yacht, Valiant. The officers gave verbal commands to the two suspects to return to the dock and were attempting to gain control of them when they heard splashing in the water on the opposite side of the vessel. Officers then observed the third suspect, Ryan Convery, 19, of Bridgewater, struggling in the water approximately twenty feet away from the dock. The suspect was coughing while attempting to stay above the water and stated to officers that he was cold and could not swim. The officers directed the suspect to grab hold of a nearby rope which they then used to pull him back towards the dock. Multiple officers then took hold of the rope, lifting him vertically out of the water to safety. Officers then provided first aid to Convery until Boston EMS arrived on scene at which time, he was transported to a local area hospital for treatment.

Police add officers found "a large bottle of vodka" in Whiting's hoodie.

The two dry landlubbers were charged with breaking and entering in the nighttime right away. Convery had to wait until after he was released from a nearby hospital to be charged, police say, adding Whiting was also charged with being a minor in possession of alcohol.

Innocent, etc.


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Bridgewater isn't a suburb like Dedham or Medford.

It's the country.

If you're calling Bridgewater "the country" then I take it you've never actually been to the country! Bridgewater is bigger than Dedham, and way too dense to ever officially be considered an exurb by any standard. It is very clearly a suburb in the Greater Boston area. The fact that it's not as dense as the suburbs immediately adjacent to Boston doesn't make them "exurbs."

The comparison to Medford is also just wrong - like Everett and Revere, Medford is a city in the Boston metropolis, and not a suburb of Boston.

I realize that Bostonians have a very warped view of geography, but come on. Words actually have meanings and "rural compared to Medford" does not mean "exurb" in any universe.


Boston is geographically TINY.

Bridgewater is 25 miles from downtown Boston. In most of the US, that's a normal (or even short) commuting distance.

I overlaid Houston on Boston here: https://imgur.com/IoC2BZH

If I do it that way, with downtown in the northernmost part of Houston, Boston extends almost to Bridgewater.

Even if I place the center of Houston over Roxbury (the geographic center of Boston), Wellesley, Norwood, Canton, Braintree, Hingham are part of Boston, and Bridgewater is only a couple towns away.


Odd that Medford gubmint is a member of the North Suburban Consortium.


compared to East and West Bridgewaters, i.e., voted for Trump in 2016 but not 2020. West Bridgewater has been red since 2000.

In 1996, Dover was the reddest town in the state (49-31-17 Perot). In 2020 it voted to the left of the state overall.

you could call them suburbs of Taunton. Exurbia generally refers to prosperous towns lying beyond a city's near suburbs (think of Weston, Dover and Sherbourne as exurbs of Boston), and none of the Bridgewaters ranks among the Commonwealth's 100 wealthiest towns.

Sub - Means just below.

Ex - Mean Outside or away.

Weston is a suburb. Dover is horse country but like Lincoln, owing to land use controls (re: No Poors) is still a suburb.

Bridgewater, though you might say is a college town, it has a lot of open space, mostly because the state owns a lot of the bottom half of the town, is an exurb.

parse a couple of syllables from their Old Latin roots. That doesn't always add up to a modern usage like this one, which dates to the mid 20th century: The dictionary is your friend, or oughta be.


Exurbia generally refers to prosperous towns

An exurb has to be prosperous to earn that title? Really???


the term was coined to connote back in the 50s by social scientists. Much less frequently used to mean "further-out suburbs".

Brookings has a definition that is most often used nowadays. Exurbs are areas beyond suburbs that are experiencing rapid growth while maintaining low density. I think that Bridgewater could be seen as a suburb of Brockton, but it definitely is not a suburb of Boston.

And judging by the socioeconomic makeup of the Boston's exurbs, I don't think it is proper to claim that they are wealthier than the traditional suburbs. The line's always been that they are full of people priced out of the suburbs.

Mostly agree, but Bridgewater (BSU alum here) is more of a suburb of Brockton rather than Taunton (ex-Tauntonian here).

Exurbia is related only to distance from the center of a metro region. It's around that area where commuting patterns change and you won't find quite as many folks who work in the city. The 495 belt became exurbia a couple decades after the highway was built, which is approximately where Bridgewater is, but I'd argue that the area has grown so much that the exurbs are now well beyond 495. I can buy an argument on either side about what to consider Bridgewater, but your examples and definition I don't buy at all. John's right that those towns you mentioned are rural because of snob zoning. Most of Milton is exurban by your definition.

different definitions, depending on context. The longest standing definition is "wealthy bedroom communities beyond the first ring of suburbs", the one I have always read it to mean, often in phrases like "the leafy exurbs".

There's a more modern definition used by think tanks and regional planners that specifies a commuting connection to a big city, lower housing density than the city and surrounding suburbs, and relatively fast population growth.

The third is the least specific: "not the city, not the suburbs, but not rural."

I'd stand by my sorting of those wealthy west-of-Boston towns as exurban by all three definitions. Snob zoning helps them meet that more wonky engineering definition, but shouldn't exclude them from it.

So on review, John's definition isn't wrongedty-wrong, just a rather rarer usage of the term. My apologies.

Bridgewater is a suburb. LOL Maybe parts of Worcester and Franklin and Berkshire counties are rural.

You should go someplace that is really rural - like West Texas or North Dakota. Drive across the continent sometime - you'll see!


While you all argue about this, I'm breaking into your yachts.


But don't jump into the ocean, unless you can swim.

I am sitting here in the suburbs laughing at this discussion. Now, GET OFF MY LAWN!

as any obsession that demands deep knowledge of the history of the genre but has enough room for nuance and controversy, and thus endless wrangling over beers or BBQ ribs or whatever your poison. I have a few of those conversation starters in my toolbox.

Sports is an obvious one in American culture. I'm a Boston sports nerd, but if you're not from here, my gloating about living in Title Town and citing stats from our various championships and GOATs can be annoying.

Food and restaurants are my more reliable go-to: some people don't like sports, but pretty much everybody will engage in a conversation about what they like to eat and where they prefer to get it.

Word nerds are a lonelier bunch. You meet a word geek girl, someone who's impressed by your ink-scribed mastery of the NY Times crossword, or who will gladly engage you in a game of Bethump'd with Words, or who can lustily banter over the denotation of "exurb"? Hold her close and never let her go!

...than an attractive woman, wearing glasses, pen in hand, doing the NYT crossword.

Their lawyer will argue they were they were students of history and sons of liberty recreating the events of the Boston Tea Party protesting the tax on vodka.


Are an entire different set of laws. I think they can be strung up in Hangman’s Island.

Hi ho there, Magoo here. One might say that the chap went for a swim in the briny deep. Magoo.


What’s being alleged - the suburban dumbassery or the break-in?

( I guess it’s a twofer)

If Mr. Cantswim Suburbodumbass had drowned, and there was a smileyface nearby, would it be the result of stupidity or mass-murder conspiracy?

Looks like someone's still got a bug up his ass about suburbanites.

Is Bridgewater really worth all this energy?



What? You got something better to do on a Monday night? All the pedants congregating here and even Magoo is struggling for a decent poop joke... *sigh*... So anyway, I heard Gen Z folks hate people that use ellipsis... Discuss

Just like what we went through when Newburyport was called a suburb of Boston. So long as we aren't having these arguments when someone is dead, it's all good.

It is within an hour of a major urban hub?

Then it is a suburb.

I wish they ended up lost where I live. They'd sober up pretty quickly.

So, what would be the sobering-up factor where you live?

Maybe anon lives in a sober halfway house ? I guess we’ll
Never know

Suffolk DA office lives for cases like this.

Or stop talking about your fixations here.

You are correct. Meanwhile Rollins is silent over a man shot to death in Hyde Park, and an 80 year old man mauled by a gang of 40 ATV riders.