OK, Ned Batchelder doesn't put it quite like that, but he's annoyed with a "parking pig" who takes up two spaces under a shade tree in the company parking lot so that nobody touches his precious Found On Road Dead pseudo sports car (oops, there I go again), and one fewer person can have his or her car stay a bit cooler in the summer. He seeks advice on what to do now that his polite note on the windshield has failed to stop Mr. Compensating for a Small You Know What:
... Should I continue leaving notes on his car? Notes with my phone number? Should I tell the security guy about it? Should I take a deep breath and focus on more important things?
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Might I suggest...
By stephencaldwell
Wed, 07/09/2008 - 12:12am
http://youparklikeanasshole.com/
mustang
By anon
Wed, 07/09/2008 - 2:52am
Grow a set and key the freakin car for goodness sakes.
grow a pair
By Anonymous
Wed, 07/09/2008 - 4:46am
balls come in pairs, not sets... unless you got three
Less Liable To Litigate
By Suldog
Wed, 07/09/2008 - 8:49am
Instead of keying, which will lead to costly attorney's fees and fines should you be caught, I prefer the simple expedient of hucking a lunger on the windshield (or, if you have very good aim and wish for more intimate contact, the driver's side door handle.)
Suldog
http://jimsuldog.blogspot.com
Hucking a lunger on the windshield sounds like a good idea.
By independentmind...
Tue, 07/22/2008 - 8:37am
Hucking a lunger on the windshield of the car of the miscreant sounds like an excellent way to correct the miscreant's behaviour. However, I wouldn't go any furthur than that.
I'd park as close as possible to the car
By Jason
Wed, 07/09/2008 - 8:47am
Get within an inch of the mirrors touching. Or, hire some pigeons for an aerial assault.
That worked for me
By Gary McGath
Wed, 07/09/2008 - 9:09am
Some years ago, there was a jerk whose VW Golf always straddled two spaces in the lot at Cummings Office Park in Woburn. One day I squeezed into the remaining half-space, so close that the only way to get in was by crawling over the seat from the other side (which isn't very easy in a Golf). He never did it again after that.
Only problem with that
By adamg
Wed, 07/09/2008 - 9:34am
He's already proven his moral compass doesn't exactly point true north (or else he wouldn't be such a dirtbag to begin with), so I wouldn't put it past him to key your car.
Then again, maybe I'm just bitter because some scum once took a big gouge out of my car in my work parking lot and didn't have the courtesy to even leave a note of apology.
Nice big sign
By Gareth
Wed, 07/09/2008 - 9:10am
PLEASE
TOW
It's like "Kick Me," but for cars!
Huh?
By Jay
Wed, 07/09/2008 - 12:33pm
You say it's a large parking lot?
Suck it up and park somewhere else instead of
being a freakin' cry baby over not getting
the shady side!
or....
By jdj
Wed, 07/09/2008 - 1:19pm
get there early enough to grab his spot
Read the replies to his original post
By adamg
Wed, 07/09/2008 - 1:28pm
My favorite solution: Leave a note on his windshield "apologizing" for the ding you caused because he parked so badly; that'll leave him hunting for a non-existent ding.
Sounds like we just found
By Spatch
Wed, 07/09/2008 - 3:16pm
Sounds like we just found someone who parks over multiple spaces, too. Feeling a little self-entitled here?
As far as I see it, the rule is one car, one parking space. It's really not that hard a concept to wrap your mind around, is it?
Where I once worked irate
By anon
Wed, 07/09/2008 - 7:24pm
Where I once worked irate discussion similar behavior came up over lunch with the head of HR.
An hour later she'd had Asshat's parking permit pulled. Apparently later that day Asshat pulled a scene with the building security fella sent to collect his company parking sticker. Then HR got re-involved and corrected Asshat's worldview.
This led to much office discussion, during which it came out that many folks actively avoided working with Asshat, to the detriment of company operations. A direct result was Asshat was soon encouraged by HR to pursue other opportunities, to spend time with his family, etc.
Presumably he got to park wherever he wanted to after that: His was a specialized job and word was everyone he approached declined to be a reference. At least a year later he was still looking for a new position.