We don't have a chalkboard on which to scratch our fingernails, but fortunately, the Globe gave us Dan Shaughnessy today

I know the coin of the Web realm is the hyperlink, but no, I refuse to link to Dan Shaughnessy's slap upside the head of Patriots fans today. It's just too annoying. For some reason, Globe editors felt it important to use valuable space on the front page to let Shanko tell us to stop acting like spoiled brats and get over our hope the Patriots win today. Bonus points for a stupid Woodstock reference (yes, Dan, we get it, you're old enough to remember Woodstock, even if you were too busy at clown school to go). If you really want to replicate the sound of a mosquito endlessly buzzing around your head at night, you can figure out how to get to his column. But don't say you weren't warned.