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French Toast Alert Level: 1 Slice / Low.

No snow for awhile, might even get into the 50s by Tuesday, so settle back and relax - but, of course, it's always time for some French toast.

The French Toast Alert System has been developed in consultation with local and federal emergency officials to help you determine when to panic and rush to the store to buy milk, eggs and bread. NOTE: This season's alert still honors the many years of forecasting by Harvey Leonard, who retired in 2022.

1 Slice / Low: No storm predicted. Harvey Leonard would have sighed and looked dour on the evening news. Go about your daily business but consider buying second refrigerator for basement, diesel generator. Good time to replenish stocks of maple syrup, cinnamon.

2 Slices / Guarded: Light snow predicted. Subtle grin appeared on Harvey Leonard's face. Check car fuel gauge, memorize quickest route to emergency supermarket should conditions change.

3 Slices / Elevated: Moderate, plowable snow predicted. Harvey Leonard would have openly smiled during report. Empty your trunk to make room for milk, eggs and bread. Clear space in refrigerator and head to store for an extra gallon of milk, a spare dozen eggs and a new loaf of bread.

4 Slices / High: Heavy snow predicted. Harvey Leonard would have broken into huge grin, can't keep his hands off the weather map. Proceed at speed limit before snow starts to nearest supermarket to pick up two gallons of milk, a couple dozen eggs and two loaves of bread - per person in household.

5 Slices / Severe: Nor'easter predicted. This is it, people, THE BIG ONE. Harvey Leonard would have made repeated references to the Blizzard of '78. RUSH to emergency supermarket NOW for multiple gallons of milk, cartons of eggs and loaves of bread. IGNORE cries of little old lady you've just trampled in mad rush to get last gallon of milk. Place pets in basement for use as emergency food supply if needed.

Busy person? Follow the French Toast Alert System on Twitter or on Facebook; stay up to the moment with the proper panic level. Busy developer type person? Use the French Toast Alert data set to build those state-of-the-art iPhone apps. Put the French Toast Alert System on your site! Copy and paste the following where you want the alert to show up. It's 124 pixels wide by 126 pixels high: <script src="https://www.universalhub.com/frenchtoast.js" type="text/javascript"></script> Become the alert: Buy an official French Toast Alert T-shirt and run around updating your neighbors:

Boston French Toast Alert System shirt
Get this custom shirt at Zazzle

Toastaphon: Toast image derived from this French Toast sammich photo by Bunchofpants.

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Comments

Will that t-shirt make my butt look bigger?

You eat it with lots of butter and syrup.

I know for SURE your butt will look bigger if you have been eating all that French Toast! What they heck - go for it!!

The T-Shirt has a red logo that says elevated, but elevated on the chart is yellow. I would want a severe logo on the front with the whole chart explanation on the back.

... I'd hire a copy editor.

Changed on the link above. If you bought one of the "Elevated" shirts and want the real "Severe" shirt, e-mail me and I'll get you the right ones.

Adam Gaffin:

Perhaps, I can help?

I am a proofreader of web pages; checking spelling, grammar, links and anything that looks "strange." I am technically not a copy editor because I don't have the skills to edit hard copy lay-outs.

I do have a reference whose e-mail I will be glad to give you in private email.

On your contact page I couldn't find a way to join without installing MS Outlook which I didn't wish to do.

Sincerely,
Diane Lee

Oh yes, those are just wonderful! Make 'em Make 'em! I do remember french toast as an evening meal, probably Saturday or Sundays, because Fridays were Beans and Franks (unless we had some extra cash, then we got some steak). Or has it been so long that I've been away and I've got Friday's and Saturday's meals mixed up?

Hey Knitnzu - you got em mixed up if you grew up Catholic - no meat on Fridays, remember?

Finally, an alert system that actually MEANS something. Now this is a system I can wrap my fork around.

The beauty of the french toast system is that the three necessary and sufficient ingredients are bread, milk, and eggs: the three perishables that always disappear when snow is announced. If anything, it should somehow also tie-in with toilet paper...the one non-food perishable that disappears just as fast when bad weather is on the way.

As Chris Crocker would tell us:
LEAVE FRENCH TOAST ALONE!

LOL, wonderful shirts. What a great idea!

Regards,

Dave C.

I had the same thought a few days ago.

Sidenote: jeez, Adam's been laid off barely a day and the slacking has already started :) We're currently at "green", but "elevated".

I was caught at Roche Bros in W Roxbury during a rush on the French Toast section, so many people that they brought in palettes of eggs and just left them in the middle of the milk area.

Also that Roche Bros in W Roxbury harbors a mysterious virus that makes you age 6 months for every minute you're in there, like that episode of Star Trek, so there were a lot of confused and desperate people in dairy.

So I would really appreciate getting the Alert by email.

No kidding, needs to cool down a bit!

Adam,
Can you fix the alert system so that the delicious french toast isn't tainted by the alert level color?

This is too funny. I'm a retail manager, and you should see the idiots go crazy when snow is predicted. My personal favorite as a drug store manager were: the emergency condoms.

Instead, look at the latest Winter Storm Watch:

DEEP SNOW ACCUMULATIONS ARE LIKELY ON UNTREATED ROADS.
IN ADDITION...STRONG WIND GUSTS MAY CREATE NEAR BLIZZARD
CONDITIONS ACROSS EASTERN MASSACHUSETTS FRIDAY NIGHT INTO EARLY
SATURDAY. SNOWFALL RATES OF 2 TO 3 INCHES PER HOUR POSSIBLE.
TRAVEL MAY BECOME NEAR IMPOSSIBLE AT TIMES WITH CONSIDERABLE
BLOWING AND DRIFTING SNOW.

* WINDS...NORTHEAST WIND GUSTS UP TO 50 MPH ALONG THE COAST FRIDAY
NIGHT INTO EARLY SATURDAY.

... for me, at least. And the only winter storm watch I could find on the NOAA site was for Alaska.

Snow blower started, first pull , didnt have to plug in the electric starter, plenty of firewood, have direct deposit , let it snow !

this site has been the absolutely best thing about a rather dreadful Boston winter. I laugh every time I open it up

I think that the reason the NWS in Taunton likes to highlight Orange is because it is near the northern and western extreme of the WFO Taunton County Watch Area (CWA) and it has an airport that more or less regularly reports weather conditions. The airport in North Adams (Harriman and West) is within the NWS Albany CWA.

They would probably talk more about Keene, but it's Keene, in New Hampshire, and therefore "up there" or "in ski country" so far as most of the WFO Taunton audience is concerned.

On Gallivan Blvd it is snowing quite hard out right now!

Adam, why isn't there an 'Extreme' or 'XTREEEEME!' level to this warning system

We want Green! Take the level down.

It's sunny today, and all I see ahead is more sunshine and more rain.

As of right now, Sunday 12/27 at 8 am, the page you linked to says:

No Active Hazardous Weather Conditions
issued by NWS Roxbury MA

THERE IS BIG BUST POTENTIAL for this storm for Boston

Does 'bust" mean "disappointingly small storm" ?

Thanks!

How many rolls of toilet paper should I buy for each level of alerts?

I support french toast in the summer!

I have the alert posted on my desk, and keep it updated during those horrific weather times.

What about using French Toast doneness colors instead of the green, blue, yellow etc colors? So you could have French toast colors from practically raw to practically burnt with golden brown being in the middle? Love this site. Keep it up!

Down here in the South we have what's called the Waffle House Index. Waffle Houses NEVER CLOSE, PERIOD. The Index condition states that if the weather or disaster is severe enough that the local Waffle House decides to close, WE'RE ALL DOOMED. It's armageddon.

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