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We need a TV blizzard drinking game
By adamg on Thu, 02/07/2013 - 1:11pm
Until the roof caves in from the weight of all the snow and the power goes out, of course we're going to be watching the non-stop blizzard coverage on local channels tomorrow. To keep from getting bored, let's come up with rules for the drinking game. Here's a start at some rules; what are yours?
Whenever somebody mentions the Blizzard of '78, take a drink. When Harv mentions it, take two - he's the only one who got it right, remember?
A reporter makes a snowball. Take a drink. Follow with a quick shot if he/she throws it at the cameraperson.
A reporter sticks a ruler in the snow. Take a drink.
A reporter sticks a yardstick in the snow. Take two drinks.
A reporter reports from a hill in Worcester. Take a drink.
A reporter reports from one of the 128 service areas. Drink.
Ed Harding puts on his glasses. Cheers!
A reporter does a live outdoor standup while not dressed in his or her station's parka. L'chaim.
A reporter does something he's just warned you not to do - like walk along Nantasket Beach at high tide. Take three drinks.
Deval Patrick issues a statement from the Bunker while dressed in a MEMA vest. Drink. Somebody compares his vest to Mike Dukakis's sweater. Two drinks.
Pete Bouchard says something that could be construed as a reference to his private parts. Drink!
Somebody mentions The Benchmark. Drink!
Somebody uses the word "bombogenesis." Skoal!
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Comments
drinking game
They show some idiot in Nahant or Hull snorkeling in a wet suit. Take a drink.
They show a hardware store with enough shovels and/or rock salt to last for the next 1000 years (why do people need new shovels every year, anyway?). Take a small sip.
They show a reporter wearing goggles, struggling to stay upright, and screaming "OMG, it's miserable out here!!" when it's actually not that bad; you can tell this by people walking behind the reporter and not looking all that miserable or blown-over. Take a drink.
Why they need new shovels every year..
Because the rock salt ate away last year's shovel.
Last year's shovel?
Who used a snow shovel last year?
Still have a shovel I bought in 1978
My roommake and I bought the last 2 shovels in a New Bedford Hardware Store the day after the Bilizzard of '78. Technically not snow shovel's. Cost me an arm and a leg. But it has a flat blade and a strong wooden shaft.
jj
Chat with snowplow driver
Joe Casazza's not around to tell us there's enough salt, but the drivers will let us know how it's going
If you lose power, just
If you lose power, just assume that all of the above are happening. Drink!
Every time there is a traffic
Every time there is a traffic cam view of 93 south, do an Irish Car Bomb.
Every time someone mentions the possibility of Morrissey Blvd flooding take a shot.
As soon as Morrissey Blvd floods chug a beer.
If a boat washes up on a beach and they send a reporter to report from it take a drink.
When they go live to report on the almost empty streets in Copley Sq. take a drink.
You'd be wasted
before a flake even hit the ground.
And also, no storm is complete without interviewing the idiot surfers and/or people who feel compelled to watch the churning seas from the edge of a jetty. One shot.
I'm
just going to drink, no game required.
Take a drink when someone
Take a drink when someone reports from Revere Beach getting sand blown in their face. Take two if water is splashing in their general vicinity.
Don't forget..
to finish your beer whenever they cut to the scene at the supermarket where people are "stocking up" on food/water....because as you know, 2 feet of snow means stores will be closed for weeks!
Of course, we always need
Of course, we always need live feed of empty bread aisles. "This is a disaster of historic proportions. Even the low cal bread is gone."
I see you, and raise you--
--any use of the term "historic". Two drinks if the reporter is immediately contradicted by the anchor.
Placeholders
Continue the drinking game after the storm -- Every time they show a chair or toilet or something holding a parking spot- drink!
People Shoveling
Every time they interview someone trying to shovel their sidewalk or driveway, and the resident disappoints the reporter by saying something like "well, this IS New England, this is what we do when it snows." Which is really the resident politely telling the reporter to go F himself and stop being such a drama queen.
Ooooooo! What about gas
Ooooooo! What about gas station interviews with plow drivers. One of my favorite storm interviews. "Been out here for 18 hours. I like it, I'm making money." Do reporters think plow drivers would be pissed about plowing or something? Do we ask every Channel 4, 5, 7, 25 reporter if they like going to work?
???
Gosh I miss Shelby Scott.... (and the governor's vest will be compared to Gov. Chrisy's vest, not the Duke's sweaters.)
Chug
If a reporter standing by a major roadway gets a plow tsunami overhead.
Plum Island
Any mention of or report from Plum Island. No one EVER hears about this mysterious place unless there is a storm or the threat of a storm, and suddenly they become the hub of the universe. What goes on there the rest of the time?
Rabid Reporters
A reporter tells us to bend our knees while shoveling, or take frequent breaks if we have a heart condition, chug-a-lug...
Plum Island? Check it out. If
Plum Island? Check it out. If you like beaches and/or bird watching, you can't beat it for only an hour's drive from Boston.
Heyyyyyyy, snowy lady
Take a drink if, behind the reporter, someone videobombs them while dancing Gangnam Style.
Well
You just outlined my blizzard plans!!
Every time Jim Cantore
Every time Jim Cantore appears on camera take a drink.
I'll be drunk in 10 minutes.
He's been standing on the overpass above 93 leading up to the Zake, waving a yardstick around.
Jim, the snow won't start falling until about 4 am. The yardstick makes you look a fool. You're a smarter guy than that, please stop it already.
Hey Adam!
What do you recommend to accompany the French toast we'll be consuming?
Coffee or milk?
Or maybe a fine orange juice?
Bourbon!
Bourbon!
Mimosas!
Mimosas! Of course!
Hardy New England...
Every time someone says "Hardy New England..." whatever, have a hearty chug!