Sissy fight

Boston Police report an all-out brawl outside Sissy K's, 6 Commercial St., around 1 this morning. "Numerous combatants" were placed under arrest, as was one guy who allegedly seemed to think it was a good idea to tell police he had a right to stand right where they were putting the bruisers into cruisers.

Around the same time, police in Brighton responded to your basic loud party at 1999 Comm. Ave., where, like some Candygram skit from back when SNL was good, the kids at first refused to open the door. When somebody finally cracked the door open, and people began to flee, police say, they spotted one young man "jumping on the roof of a parked and unattended car causing extensive damage." They escorted him to a place where he could jump all he liked without causing any damage.

Around 2:30, police responded to 545 Washington St., where one man learned that if you tell a panhandler to get a job, he might just knock you to the ground and start punching you - at least until police arrive and haul him away.

Innocent, etc.