Hey, there! Log in / Register
World's most boring tourist attraction joined by world's lamest sign
By adamg on Tue, 07/01/2008 - 8:41am
Tourists who look at Plymouth Rock and go "Huh! That's it?" can now look up and see a hillside sign reading "Hollywood East."
The Plymouth Bulletin reports that Plymouth County Commissioners agreed (2-1) to put the sign in front of the town's 19th-century courthouse as a way of convincing tourists to walk up the hill to downtown Plymouth from the waterfront, no doubt in a desperate bid to shake off the cobwebs of ennui that envelope them as soon as they realize the Rock is really just a rock, and despite the fact that Plymouth is not yet actually Hollywood East, since developers have yet to build their movie studio in town, which means that if they do climb up the hill, all they're going to do is get really annoyed when they realize there's no movie stuff at the top, just another Ye Olde New Englande Towne.
UPDATE: The sign will be coming down after this weekend. Passions are aflame in Plymouth; veterans are outraged at "the lack of sensitivity" the sign shows a veterans' memorial at the site.
Free tagging:
Ad:
Support Universal Hub
Help keep Universal Hub going. If you like what we're up to and want to help out, please consider a (completely non-deductible) contribution.
Comments
that rock
it has to go. Too many childhood memories of tedium.
I think that fake portico thing would be an excellent location for a giant baby head.
Liven up the portico
Decorate it with some spray-paint stenciling designs, perhaps?
Combine the two
A giant baby head decorated in spray-painted stencils! Very Maori, which we just don't have enough of around here.
How Deeply Symbolic!
The Maori were serious warriors and were not technically ever conqured!
The large Maori baby head would have tremendous symbolism as the larger-than-the-rock icon of indomitable native pride against the backdrop of global colonization by the British.
(heads off to get hip waders ...)
Subverting the dominant paradigm
Such a symbol would, of course, be a reversal of everything that cracked rock is supposed to stand for, since it marks the beginning of British dominion over the region.
The Other Sculpture
The other sculpture I referenced in the "baby heads" post, which I think resembles a whole bunch of dicks, could be moved there, too. It could symbolize what some of our ancestors did to the native population.
Suldog
http://jimsuldog.blogspot.com
Quite Literally!
Ever read Guns, Germs, and Steel?
No, Haven't Read It
But, given the subject matter, and having read enough else about the hideous treatment given our natives, I can certainly imagine!
Suldog
http://jimsuldog.blogspot.com
I recommend 1491
The only reason the Pilgrims were able to get a foothold is that 90-95% of the natives who previously inhabited the village of Patuxet were dead from plagues. The pilgrims who survived did so by robbing their graves.
Plymouth Rock Natives
Plymouth Rock was a legend, the entire area is all is beautiful, Plymouth Plantation, the Mayflower exhibit, and yes even Plymouth Rock, is a great way to get kids interested in history. The public beaches, the nightlife, the golf courses, the fishing, and the history make it a great place to visit.
As for the Indians, they never owned the land, they came from some other place and settled there, just like the people on every other corner of the planet. If you give it up or are forced out, then you leave and settle elsewhere or adapt to your new surroundings. They lost. Rome once owned England....... maybe one day nuclear war will wipe out the modern civilization and some more "indians" will migrate from a remote amazon tribe and settle in what was once Plimouth again.
War's over, dude
Honkies won by default on account of the plagues.
Still no reason you can't educate yourself.
We didn't land on Plymouth Rock!
Plymouth Rock landed on us!
Wow.
I guess I can kinda see the veterans' point of view, but from what I read, the sign is not actually on the memorial itself, just in front of it. Am I wrong? If that's the case, and this ugly sign attracts people, won't more people come up to investigate and see the memorial? I mean, how many tourists come to Plymouth and say:
Dad (map in hand): "Kids, this is where the Pilgrims landed. Where do you want to go first?"
Kids: "The veterans' memorial!! Pleeeease?"
I just think people are overreacting. I'm against it because it just looks dumb. But someone blaming the sign for a stomach ache and waking up at 3 am just seems a little too over the top for me.
nail, head, hits
I just think people are overreacting.
I'm SHOCKED AND OUTRAGED you would even DARE consider thinking such a thing! And there are CHILDREN present! (Well, they're somewhere, I bet. Not around here, but certainly SOMEWHERE! GOSH!)
I'm writing a LETTER TO THE PRESIDENT OF THE INTERNET and venting my OUTRAGE AND DISGUST as we speak!
Sex Robots
Maybe they should put some of those vodka sexrobots up there - the ones with the 20W50 bra size. They would attract attention in a stereotypical "hollywood" fashion, wake the dead, etc.
I went to Plimoth Plantation a while back
And I thought "Y'know, this is kinda neat. Look! That lady's making lye! And this guy's making fun of my left-handed friend! That's pretty sweet! But honestly, this colonial re-enactment really needs some vodka. And sex robots. Maybe I should tell this nice man with the musket."
I definitely think you're on to something here.
Plymouth Pebble
It's quite a small rock at that. The Pilgrims must have had to balance very carefully as they stepped on it in single file. (Actually, I'm told it was much bigger in 1620 and was eroded down by tourists.)
Solution?
I can't believe I came up with such a brilliant and logical way to get rid of both the rock and the sign in one fell swoop.
Step 1: Remove the rock from its environs.
Step 2: Winch the rock up by helicopter.
Step 3: Drop the rock on the sign, obliterating both the rock and the sign.
I've gotta say, this action would be certain to attract tourists. I mean, watching the destruction of Plymouth Rock? I don't have a car, but I'd hitchhike to witness this.
"The Plymouth Bulletin
"The Plymouth Bulletin reports... Ye Olde New Englande Towne."
That's one long-ass sentence.
Yeah
I was in awe of that, also. I've been known to put some long ones out there, but this beats hell out of my puny constructions :-)
Suldog
http://jimsuldog.blogspot.com