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If the T's not on time, we bust out a rhyme
By adamg on Mon, 12/21/2015 - 7:32am
Just another day on the Red Line. Photo by Mike Atlas.
There were a few delays on the T this year. Here are some of them, set to rhyme.
Note: In collecting these headlines, I realized my meter really sucks. I should work on that in 2016, although even better would be if there were fewer opportunities for me to resort to rhyme. Also, this is far, far from a comprehensive listing of all the major delays on the T in 2015. I missed some (especially early in the morning), I didn't try to make light of delays caused by, say, people jumping in front of trains, and during the Winter of Our Discontent, my brain was just too cold to try to organize too many rhymes.
- Orange Line goes cryptbound at Haymarket, weary riders say fark it
- Train dies in Southie; riders too tired to get mouthy
- Riders who sat on broken train in the morning repeated the process, with no warning
- Train from Providence dead on the tracks; riders can fret or just relax
- A bit of smoke and a fight makes some people's commutes really bite
- Signal problems shift to Green from Red; enough to fill trolley riders with dread
- Red Line signal woes persist; riders wish they would desist
- Once again, Red Line service dismal; riders find that abysmal
- Braintree signals are still busted; riders grow more disgusted
- Braintree signals crater, riders' angst even greater
- Problems on Orange and Green; grumpy riders about to keen
- Monday morning on the T: Delays as far as the eye can see
- Train to Providence is wicked late, riders wail, bemoan their fate
- Trolley dies, more than one D rider sighs
- Amtrak signals go kablooie, South Station commuters go oh, phooey
- Trolley dies in tunnel, onto tracks riders funnel
- Train dies before entering Lynn; riders curse this horrible sin
Train of the damned in Lynn (Photo by Laura):
- Red Line gives up the ghost, riders' commutes now toast
- Red Line signals go on the fritz; riders agree that's the pits
- Red Line another hot mess, when it gets fixed is anyone's guess
- More Red Line woes, riders' angst just grows
- Red, Orange trains expire, leaving riders to perspire
- Red Line trains don't go; riders' lives full of woe
- Green Line trolley, it moveth not; Green Line riders, annoyed a lot
- Needham Line delayed by tree; riders' hearts not filled with glee
- Hell's bells: Red Line stopped due to coughing spells
- Another Green Line branch goes kablooie; riders, natch, go, oh, phooey
- Riverside Line has power woes; riders know that that blows
- Red Line switch in Braintree develops hitch; like riders needed a new reason to bitch
- Trolley's wheels slip off the tracks; riders want to give it 40 whacks
- Problems on Red and Green Lines at rush hour; riders' faces full of glower
- All the D trolleys are fine; it's the tree on the wires messing up the line
- Train dies at Kendall Square; riders don't find that very fair
- Switch on the Red Line goes kaput, for riders that means trouble is afoot
- No power for an hour leaves Orange Line riders dyspeptic and sour
Stacking 'em up during an Orange Line delay (Photo by Meredith Sandiford):
- Orange Line train passes expiration date; yep, riders gonna be late
- Trolley derails at Lechmere; riders probably too hot to jeer
- Green Line trolleys go to rest eternal; riders suffer commute infernal
- Green Line has track woes; riders utter their usual oh noes
Green Line track woes (Photo by Turlach MacDonagh):
- Track fire shuts Orange Line, things were anything but anodyne
- Train won't budge at Alewife; riders brace for extra strife
- Death grappled a trolley; riders gnash teeth at the folly
- Red Line tracks get all smoky; Red Line riders bemoan being so pokey
- Green Line to Riverside dead; Green Line riders see red
- Power issues at Bowdoin mean the Blue Line is like snowed in
- Medford loses power, which makes Orange Line riders sour
- Orange Line doors get stuck, riders go oh, well, you know
- Blue Line goes dark; riders run out of snark
- Orange Line train just died; riders, of course, fit to be tied
- Green Line trolley passes to other side; Green Line riders now fit to be tied
- Green Line wire down, causes riders to frown
- Commuter rail still showing cracks: Trains from Providence dead on the tracks
- Route 39 bus gets stuck, riders, drivers out of luck
- Red Line train dies, every rider sighs; commuter rail still a travail
- Orange Line train gives up on a whim; Orange Line riders are pretty grim
- Commuter rail delays mount; too numerous to count
- Red Line riders abandoned to their fate; man, are they going to be late
- Morning does not become the Red Line; Orange Line also isn't fine
- Trains meet their demise; riders utter sighs
- As Olympics get closer, Red Line service gets grosser
- Orange Line brake pad gets jammed; on platforms, riders get crammed
- Trains, tracks freeze, shivering riders can only go: Oh, jeez!
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Comments
Really stretching....
...for those rhyming headlines these days, eh?
good work
Adam, your rhymes always put a smile on my face, even when I'm dealing with problems on the T. Keep up the good work in 2016, but yes, let's hope there are fewer opportunities to bust a rhyme.
I love the broken T rhymes!
Pretty much the main reason why I log onto this blog at least once a day is to check for new broken T rhymes. Keep up the good work!
The T is late a lot and as
The T is late a lot and as such, you have to do these headlines too much.
Adorable!
h/t to Elmer
Did the T actually work for 1 day?
I have T alert emails set up for all the subway lines. On Dec 19, I only received a single alert all day (as compared to typically more than 10/day), for a disabled E Green Line. Did the T just have an astronomically wonderful day, or did their email alert system break?
The response by the office of MBTA propaganda
Passengers on commuter boats applaud the decision to rearrange the deck chairs on the SS (T)itanic
40 Whacks
Nice Lizzie Borden reference!
Always A Joy
One of the many great reasons for coming to U-Hub is to see if you've come up with another rhyme concerning a T breakdown. Anyone who wishes to criticize your rhymes should try to come up with as many, as inventive and also on deadline.
Suldog
http://jimsuldog.blogspot.com
It is absolutely disturbing
It is absolutely disturbing that there were this many this year... and that this lengthy list doesn't even include most of the winter.
If it weren't for Adam's MBTA
If it weren't for Adam's MBTA rhymes, I would have gone postal the time about a year ago when the Orange Line broke down at 5:30 during rush hour and we were all advised we had to take alternate routes. So, since I had to get to Forest Hills, I decided to take the green line to Copley and walk over to the 39 bus. Together with my fellow Orange Line refugee riders, we all boarded the already jam-packed 39. By the time we were half way to Brigham Circle, the engine combusted causing fumes to seep into the bus. Now, in the dark and the freezing cold, already about an hour past, we all had to get off the bus and wait for the next one. I said *uck it, and walked all the way to Forest Hills. My toes froze and my eyes started to turn into ice, but at least I made it home alive. I never saw one bus pass me all the way. AWESOME CLASSIC!!!!
Adam, please keep those lines coming. Start practicing for Winter 2016.
who wants to do a whip-round?
Do you already have this, Adam?