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French Toast Alert Level: 1 Slice / Low.

No snow for awhile, might even get into the 50s by Tuesday, so settle back and relax - but, of course, it's always time for some French toast.

The French Toast Alert System has been developed in consultation with local and federal emergency officials to help you determine when to panic and rush to the store to buy milk, eggs and bread. NOTE: This season's alert still honors the many years of forecasting by Harvey Leonard, who retired in 2022.

1 Slice / Low: No storm predicted. Harvey Leonard would have sighed and looked dour on the evening news. Go about your daily business but consider buying second refrigerator for basement, diesel generator. Good time to replenish stocks of maple syrup, cinnamon.

2 Slices / Guarded: Light snow predicted. Subtle grin appeared on Harvey Leonard's face. Check car fuel gauge, memorize quickest route to emergency supermarket should conditions change.

3 Slices / Elevated: Moderate, plowable snow predicted. Harvey Leonard would have openly smiled during report. Empty your trunk to make room for milk, eggs and bread. Clear space in refrigerator and head to store for an extra gallon of milk, a spare dozen eggs and a new loaf of bread.

4 Slices / High: Heavy snow predicted. Harvey Leonard would have broken into huge grin, can't keep his hands off the weather map. Proceed at speed limit before snow starts to nearest supermarket to pick up two gallons of milk, a couple dozen eggs and two loaves of bread - per person in household.

5 Slices / Severe: Nor'easter predicted. This is it, people, THE BIG ONE. Harvey Leonard would have made repeated references to the Blizzard of '78. RUSH to emergency supermarket NOW for multiple gallons of milk, cartons of eggs and loaves of bread. IGNORE cries of little old lady you've just trampled in mad rush to get last gallon of milk. Place pets in basement for use as emergency food supply if needed.

Busy person? Follow the French Toast Alert System on Twitter or on Facebook; stay up to the moment with the proper panic level. Busy developer type person? Use the French Toast Alert data set to build those state-of-the-art iPhone apps. Put the French Toast Alert System on your site! Copy and paste the following where you want the alert to show up. It's 124 pixels wide by 126 pixels high: <script src="https://www.universalhub.com/frenchtoast.js" type="text/javascript"></script> Become the alert: Buy an official French Toast Alert T-shirt and run around updating your neighbors:

Boston French Toast Alert System shirt
Get this custom shirt at Zazzle

Toastaphon: Toast image derived from this French Toast sammich photo by Bunchofpants.

Like the job UHub is doing? Consider a contribution. Thanks!

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Comments

By Karl
Mon, 03/12/2018 - 9:03am

There will be NO SPRING in 2018. Summer may be shorter too. Already 2018 is competing with '15 and '78 in overall snowfall during the winter, using the standard that it's not over until the snow is completely gone and no more snowstorms are in the forecast. The calendar is meaningless. And yes, this incoming storm as of 3/12/18 is going to stick. Why? When the storms come, the temperature drops low enough for it to stick, and won't rebound for at least a week, assuming there isn't another storm within that week, which is a very low probability. All we can do is hope it ends by June 21 (the ACTUAL beginning of summer, only corporations use Memorial Day for that). Yes, I did say the calendar doesn't matter, but that's only for determining the start of a non-existent season. tl, dr: Just another rant about the awful winters here and the fact that I can't move out. And I have the First Amendment right to complain.

By anon
Mon, 03/12/2018 - 9:11am

But it appears that she's been brought on part-time with a shifting schedule, like a fast food worker.

By KW
Thu, 03/22/2018 - 12:14pm

Hi,

Can you confirm if the French Toast Dataset is uptodate? It usually just says "Guarded" and the last time it appears to be updated (change of french toast alert status) was around March 13.

By adamg
Thu, 03/22/2018 - 12:38pm

The xml or js file? If so, maybe there's a problem I need to look into, because the actual Alert has changed several times in that time period.

By jinzilla20
Thu, 11/22/2018 - 11:02am

It seems like we get at least 1 major Nor'Easter each Winter. Sometimes multiple. Therefore, I propose a new benchmark, when the City of Boston is absolutely crippled and can't easily withstand another blow. Think February 2015. March 2018 also flirted with this, though there was enough time/melting between storms to recover:

6+ Slices: EXTREME. Multiple Category 4-5 events in a short period of time with another one scheduled to hit... imminently. Harvey Leonard appears genuinely terrified, making multiple references to the Feb 2015 Snow Blitz, widespread Power Outages and the National Guard. Supermarkets are long barren & the MBTA has been out of service for weeks. If you don't already have a stockpile of bread, eggs, milk & emergency rations to last until May, consider evacuating to somewhere warmer, where your survival skills will come in handy when a mere dusting shuts down the area. THIS IS NOT A DRILL, PEOPLE. WE'RE PRETTY MUCH F*CKED.

By jmeltzer
Fri, 01/18/2019 - 9:38am

7 Slices: The Boston Yeti is reading the weather, after saying that Harvey Leonard is currently under sedation. Things are about to get really funky.

By JJ
Mon, 11/04/2019 - 5:52pm

Need to send out a tweet announcing the arrival of the 2019-20 season...

By SwirlyGrrl
Thu, 01/27/2022 - 8:10pm

FORMING AN EYE? UR WEATHER LORDS R DRUNK ON CARBON! REPENT TO UR WEATHER LORDS!

By JJ
Sat, 11/12/2022 - 7:56am

Fresh loaf of challah from local bakery: check
Two dozen eggs: check
Gallon of milk, just opened this morning: check

Bring it on!!

By PW
Mon, 11/14/2022 - 10:06am

Is Harv still our guy or will we need to name a new French Toast King/Queen?

By adamg
Mon, 11/14/2022 - 4:51pm

This season will still feature what Harv would have done. Next season, we'll have to come up with somebody else.

By jmeltzer
Wed, 01/25/2023 - 4:44pm

all you need now is "Harvey's back."

By Karl
Mon, 01/16/2023 - 7:52am

The last minor storms in Jan 2023 were labeled Blue, but this obvious Yellow today (Jan 16, 2023, incorrectly labeled Green) is clearly more snowfall than either of the earlier Blues this January. I think this gizmo's broken. And I'm just north of Boston, whereas the "jackpot" was Plymouth County and The Cape, but there is more than Blue level falling today.

By jmeltzer
Sat, 03/04/2023 - 10:48am

only a slice of stale Wonder Bread, but the day is far from over :-)

By Oxenfree
Thu, 02/06/2025 - 1:28pm

This time next year we may be facing a different picture when it comes to French Toast fixin's, between unpasteurized milk and egg shortages. Make 'em if you gottem!

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