I used to be a Big Brother with a kid from Chelsea. Yes, It can be difficult work as they push boundaries to see how you will treat them, how much they can get from you, and if you'll abandon them. But the rewards from a simple hug to an appreciation of a day well spent (A Fenway Park double header with Burt Byleven of the Angels comes to mind) can provide a lifetime of positive experiences feedback and memory.
My understanding is that they have lessened the requirements to make it more accommodating to people with busy schedules. It used to be that they asked you to commit one day a week which is very hard.
I highly encourage people to reach out and see if they can work it into their schedules. Just having someone to talk to outside of their usual circles can really be helpful.
Do you make cross-gender matches, for example matching boys with women volunteers?
No. Our programs are based on same-sex matches.
While it is refreshing to see a liberal non-profit acknowledge that biological sex does exist and is important, perhaps keeping a hard line on the matches is hurting kids that could use a mentor? At least during a shortage.
I don't fully disagree with you, but the main point of mentoring programs like BBBS is to match kids with a role model they can identify with in some way. Especially for boys, there is a critical need for male role models in their lives. Almost none of my students have active father figures or men in their lives that they can look up to (or any men at all, really), and while being surrounded by women is great in some ways, these young men need people they can relate to and look up to.
The agency signed me up with a young woman who was from the Precinct 1 neighborhood in Dedham. This neighborhood is very upscale. I always thought that the Big Sister program was aimed at economically disadvantaged children. My social worker contact said that no, that is not always the case.
So I met this teenager. We went out twice in five months. Every time I asked her mom if we could have an afternoon, the teenager was booked. She was going to Japan for several weeks with her father, she was going away with her friends, etc. Finally, she was going to boarding school in CT.
I asked the agency to find out from her parents if she didn't like me. No, she was just busy. I didn't understand how she was ever chosen to be in the program. Finally, I said to the agency, it doesn't make sense for me to have this connection, and asked them to end the relationship.
I asked to be matched with another child, and they told me that I would need to go through the application process again. ??? For anyone that has gone through the process, you need to give references from your supervisor and at least two (three?) friends. These are written questionnaires that the references must complete.
I was NOT going to impose on my references again.
During my time as a Big Sister, my social worker contact and her boss left the organization.
At the time, 10 years ago, the whole situation, including the selection of this young woman to mentor, was poor. I was very disappointed with my first match, and very frustrated that they wanted me to reapply after their bad choice.
This relationship can be such a positive thing. I hope that the organization is better-run now.
I did BB,BS in college and it was a great experience. Yes, it was difficult at times, but everyone should do it before they have kids of their own.
Don't think you're going to be a hero and save someone's life like some after-school special (even though you might).
Just spend some time with a kid, be consistent, and let them know that someone older (who has their life together) cares about them and thinks that they matter. This is more than some kids have.
Made me a better person then and better father now.
My son has a Big and he’s a college student and local. I’ve been happy with how the program is run lately but there haven’t been any perks since the two year match. I thought at some point there could be ball game tickets or something.
That’s ok, they do things like hang out so I can get to the store or we do something together like go to the park. It’s a nice friendship since my son doesn’t have a present father due to being disabled.
My only criticism is that they do monthly check in calls which are awkward since it’s just small talk about, “How’s your relationship with ______ going?” At least these calls can be done after work hours.
I encourage anyone with a few hours every month to become a Big!
Comments
A very worthy endeavor
I used to be a Big Brother with a kid from Chelsea. Yes, It can be difficult work as they push boundaries to see how you will treat them, how much they can get from you, and if you'll abandon them. But the rewards from a simple hug to an appreciation of a day well spent (A Fenway Park double header with Burt Byleven of the Angels comes to mind) can provide a lifetime of positive experiences feedback and memory.
My understanding is that they have lessened the requirements to make it more accommodating to people with busy schedules. It used to be that they asked you to commit one day a week which is very hard.
I highly encourage people to reach out and see if they can work it into their schedules. Just having someone to talk to outside of their usual circles can really be helpful.
'Think Big, Be Big!'
maybe they should consider cross-sex matches then?
While it is refreshing to see a liberal non-profit acknowledge that biological sex does exist and is important, perhaps keeping a hard line on the matches is hurting kids that could use a mentor? At least during a shortage.
I don't fully disagree with
I don't fully disagree with you, but the main point of mentoring programs like BBBS is to match kids with a role model they can identify with in some way. Especially for boys, there is a critical need for male role models in their lives. Almost none of my students have active father figures or men in their lives that they can look up to (or any men at all, really), and while being surrounded by women is great in some ways, these young men need people they can relate to and look up to.
I had a very frustrating experience when I was a Big Sister
The agency signed me up with a young woman who was from the Precinct 1 neighborhood in Dedham. This neighborhood is very upscale. I always thought that the Big Sister program was aimed at economically disadvantaged children. My social worker contact said that no, that is not always the case.
So I met this teenager. We went out twice in five months. Every time I asked her mom if we could have an afternoon, the teenager was booked. She was going to Japan for several weeks with her father, she was going away with her friends, etc. Finally, she was going to boarding school in CT.
I asked the agency to find out from her parents if she didn't like me. No, she was just busy. I didn't understand how she was ever chosen to be in the program. Finally, I said to the agency, it doesn't make sense for me to have this connection, and asked them to end the relationship.
I asked to be matched with another child, and they told me that I would need to go through the application process again. ??? For anyone that has gone through the process, you need to give references from your supervisor and at least two (three?) friends. These are written questionnaires that the references must complete.
I was NOT going to impose on my references again.
During my time as a Big Sister, my social worker contact and her boss left the organization.
At the time, 10 years ago, the whole situation, including the selection of this young woman to mentor, was poor. I was very disappointed with my first match, and very frustrated that they wanted me to reapply after their bad choice.
This relationship can be such a positive thing. I hope that the organization is better-run now.
SIGN UP NOW, YOUNG PEOPLE!!!
SIGN UP NOW, YOUNG PEOPLE!!!
I did BB,BS in college and it was a great experience. Yes, it was difficult at times, but everyone should do it before they have kids of their own.
Don't think you're going to be a hero and save someone's life like some after-school special (even though you might).
Just spend some time with a kid, be consistent, and let them know that someone older (who has their life together) cares about them and thinks that they matter. This is more than some kids have.
Made me a better person then and better father now.
So Important
My son has a Big and he’s a college student and local. I’ve been happy with how the program is run lately but there haven’t been any perks since the two year match. I thought at some point there could be ball game tickets or something.
That’s ok, they do things like hang out so I can get to the store or we do something together like go to the park. It’s a nice friendship since my son doesn’t have a present father due to being disabled.
My only criticism is that they do monthly check in calls which are awkward since it’s just small talk about, “How’s your relationship with ______ going?” At least these calls can be done after work hours.
I encourage anyone with a few hours every month to become a Big!