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As the little fishy said,
As the little fishy said, "Come on down!"
L
L
I'm glad we finally have a resolution
to one of the most urgent problems facing the world today.
"Any car loss is tough for the public", especially when they're ultra-extravagant luxury cars destined for multi-millionaires: that's some profound wisdom there, Sir Ernie. Ask not, "Won't someone think of the 12-cylinder Bentleys and Lambos?", because someone is doing so, and deeply.
At last: closure.
Even more tragic
Than what's happening in Ukraine.
/s
Oh, that Ernie!
His PR person Peggy Rose (who also flacks for the Boston Patrolmen!) can't wait for things like this to happens so she can get the biggest celebrity starf*cker I've ever met in the papers again.
Of course, ask her about Ernie's love affair with Trump. Ooops! You can't, her Tweets have been protected for years!
Fact checking
According to whoever wrote the linked article, 1500 cars went down, and according to Ernie Boch, they were worth $800 million. That's $533K each. I know these were luxury cars and all, but they weren't made of unobtanium. I mean, there were VW Golfs on that ship, though maybe they were for the servants. Other stories say 4,000 cars and $400 million, or $100K each. Still ridiculous, but we're used to that kind of absurdity.
Another fact to check
I was under the impression that he sold all the Boch dealerships and now just does paid promo for them. As I recall, he kept the New England Subaru import business, so he does know more than a little about bringing cars into the country. [Feel free to correct anything here that is wrong.]
It’s all about the insurance claims now.
I’m sure they will claim each car was priceless.
Hey Ernie
Once I was done grieving for
Once I was done grieving for Herb's misery and Ernie’s 12 Cylinder Bentley, I thought I’d look up what portion of the US market this represents.
Assuming that's the right number, 4000 cars sinking to the bottom of the ocean is a lot of cars.
Turns out that some 17 million new cars (mostly trucks and SUV’s) were sold each year in our country pre-pandemic. It has temporarily slowed down to 14-15 million over the past couple of years. The Felicity Ace was only carrying 0.02% of the cars that are typically sold in the US each year.
Another way to look at it is that if all the cars sold in the US were to arrive by ship (most are produced in North America) we would need to unload the equivalent of one Felicity Ace every 2 hours 24/7 to satisfy our country’s car demand. Multiply that by 5 to satisfy the Worlds’ demand of 75 million cars per year and growing. That's one Felicity Ace worth of cars manufactured every 25 minutes.
Outside of Europe and the US most households don’t drive but badly want in and they are able to afford a car at an increasing rate. Then one has to factor in the infrastructure and astronomical amount of energy (and corresponding emissions) it takes to move these things.
Moreover, cars may “only” represent something like 1/3 of our ever-growing resource extraction and emissions -buildings, manufacturing, electricity generation and food production are even more significant.
How long can this go on before the planet (already fkdup for most other sentient species) becomes unlivable for most people? I am wagering 20 to 40 years max.
I now need to take a nap.
Masters and servants
For about a dozen years I didn’t own a car. During that time I came to think it more and more absurd that people so easily became accustomed to taking a ton and a half of metal, glass, rubber, plastic, grease, etc., with them wherever they went. I started to believe that if alien investigators ever did visit Earth, they would come to the conclusion that it was ruled by a race of surprisingly primitive robots, and that they might also note, in passing, that these robots had managed to domesticate a species of ape, and bred these apes to provide for their every need. They might also note that the robots had become so dependent on their ape-servants that they had developed internal ape-compartments, and never went anywhere without at least one of these servants in attendance.
Then things changed, and I needed a car, so I bought a ton-and-a-half of machinery, and returned to service. I take my ton-and-a-half with me almost everywhere I go, and feel insecure without it.
Corn or perhaps soybeans
would be the undisputed master.
The Hitchhikers Guide to Galaxy
Ford:
Didn't you think it was strange I was trying to shake hands with a car?
Arthur:
I assumed you were drunk.
Ford:
I thought cars were the dominant lifeform. I was trying to introduce myself.
The correct comparison should
The correct comparison should be what percentage of this class of vehicle went down to visit Davey Jones' Locker
The Ernies
I don't know why that guy irks me so much. He buys a spot for himself on PBS and my teeth grind. I see the old Music Hall and it says "BOCH" on it and my back goes out.
It must run in the family though, because when Senior died I called my Dad, who was a customer (albeit a disgruntled one) to let him know of the auto dealer's demise, and my dad harrumphed a bit and said, "Ernie Boch's been dead to me for years".
Oh, those lovable Bochs.
He’s so gross
EB2 is so gross. Anyone else remember his leather pants and Purple Subaru Forrester Limousine days?
Read the room Dbag. The world is in chaos and you lost a guaranteed to be replaced and delivered ASAP toy to the bottom of the sea, where the fluids weeping from it will pollute for years. He’s so, so gross.
Anyone else notice that the women hanging off his arm seemingly stay the same age even though he himself is rapidly hitting age of “looks like Steve Tyler”
Volkswagen AG themself have stated that the insured loss was $155M.
Can you tell I can’t stand EB2?
Later that night with
Later that night with Lamborghinis alight
came the wreck of Ernie Boch's Bentley!
I like these Gordon Lightfoot references
I do.
Sequel Time!
I don't know what lift ships we've still got that'll work at that depth, but this calls for Project Azorian 2: Luxury Car Boogaloo.
"Come on down"
The cars on the ship misunderstood the late Ernie Sr.'s catchphrase.
And just remember while you
And just remember while you're all yucking it up, insurers will cover the loss of the ship and the cargo, then pass the cost onto us. Hilarious!
All in the same boat
All these riches know exactly where their extravagant personality-defect-plugging irrelevants are: GPS and a scuba suit will tow that stuff back to earth.
Why not hire the Navy’s submarine catcher ship to pull up the ship? Or call James Cameron to raise each of the dead vehicles onto a hospital ship for triage? I mean, we have all the technology, it’s only a meter of money, and time, to solve the problem. Surely these richies can all chip in to their GofundmeBlack account and amass enough dough to resolve an open emotional wound that was caused by the destruction of the bandage meant to salve the older bigger emotional wound? Isn’t this in their best interests altogether?
Oh, yeah right, I forgot, these people are all alone, and will be forever.
so sorry for your loss.... /s
so sorry for your loss....
/s
.
.
Was the ship’s crew ok?
So much lamenting if the lost 12-cylinder Lamborghinis and no mention of the actual people on board this ship. It’s cool that Bentley is going to prioritize remaking Boch’s car, though.
Yes
The crew was evacuated safely and without injury back on Feb 17th.
https://www.cbsnews.com/news/cargo-ship-felicity-ace-fire-atlantic-ocean/
A negative environmental impact, for certain.
But, not half as bad as when Ernie slithers down to the shore and dunks his Trump lovin' rump in the sea. That greasy mop on top of his empty noggin has as much oil in it as the Exxon Valdez.
Everyone is lamenting about
Everyone is lamenting about poor Mr. Boch, but what about the hard working people who already paid for these cars and are now left in limbo?
Do we even care?
Why are we so harsh?
They're luxury cars
They're luxury cars, no? Generously supposing that their owners are "hard working people", do you honestly think their lives are now on hold because their rare vintage autos are at the bottom of the sea? That they will not recoup their losses, or even if they don't, that they cannot sustain them? This isn't a case of a single mother trying to keep that 2000 Honda running so she can keep her two jobs.
So, I'm a hard-working person
So, I'm a hard-working person and also handle my money better than most Americans, I can't splurge on myself once in a while a have something I've always wanted?
I'm not talking about a single mother but someone whos paid all his bills for the last 30 years and want something nice. Now I have to wait 18-24 months for a replacement, and you feel its ok to giggle at me?
Did you get up this morning...
...and say "I know what I'll do on this fine spring day, I'll go hunting for a reason to be butthurt"?
Did you have a car on that ship? No? Then you might be forgiven for thinking there's a realistic chance that the owners of these cars are going to take a bath on this.
I wasn't giggling before, but I sure am now, because your drama is hilarious. Shit happens to everyone, and as consequences go, having to wait for another luxury car is minor.
Why would the end buyer be on the hook?
If you've paid someone for something, there's usually some obligation that they deliver it to you in the condition you were promised.
From the linked article
It's called insurance, we're
It's called insurance, we're all on the hook.
Maybe
It depends on who the insurer is, and whether *we* all buy that kind of insurance. If it's auto insurance, then some portion of uHub denizens may share the costs. If it's maritime insurance, I doubt that any significant portion of the costs will fall on us.