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Several reasons not to have sex in an MBTA elevator, including if you already have warrants out for your arrest
By adamg on Tue, 10/17/2023 - 2:51pm
Somebody called Transit Police to report a couple involved in flagrante delicto in an elevator at the State Street T station last night.
Officers who responded, around 10:10 p.m., found that in addition to heating up the elevator, both parts of the beast with two backs had outstanding warrants including assault with a dangerous weapon, assault on a police officer and breaking and entering, so they were arrested for that, police say. Police did not specify if the elevator was going down.
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Comments
Police did not specify if the
[slow clap]
Dead pregnant women found on beach
This isn’t the first time something like this had happened this year alone but don’t want to scare away anyone buying a two million dollar condo around there. (Carson beach South Boston)
What??
Not following.
To be fair, an erotically
To be fair, an erotically charged atmosphere like a T station elevator, you can see how people might get carried away.
It's funny 'cause it's true
It's funny 'cause it's true
They could have chosen a more appropriate station, though -
Wonderland, Woodland, Valley Road, Ball Square.
I heard they put in a request for the commuter rail to be extended to Athol.
I'll see myself out now.
Giving…
This giving me “When Harry Met Sally” vibes but this climax ends with the kicking out of train windows.
(T)hings are back to normal
After a week of sadness and madness leave it to the T to bring us back to reality. A pair of wanted criminals having sex in a T elevator is one of the better stories in the naked city.
Later, 'vator maters
I'm intrigued by the mention of serval warrants. Had they been caught importing wildcats, too?
Blame the musak!
They were subconsciously driven to it because of the Aerosmith song playing on the musak system.
The elevator actually worked?
Talk about getting lucky!
I have no skin in this game
but in this era, it's disappointing that there aren't multiple phone videos of the encounter on multiple platforms (in addition to the T platform). At least we can be reassured to read the police report that it was a man and a woman, although she must be a two-bagger to get it doggie style in an elevator. The article left the impression that it might be two amorous English professors who had a few too many at Faneuil (er, slavedealer) Hall.
Wait, how many English professors do you know ...
Who have outstanding warrants for assault and battery?
I don't find that reassuring at all
Het encounters bring with them the risk of reproduction, for starters.
But think of the baby name possibilities...
Outstanding Ascending Warrant Smith if it's a boy
Jamie Gottsome Warrants Smith if it's a girl.
I'm more of a conventional
I'm more of a conventional-names traditionalist.
Otis for a boy.
Dover for a girl.
Thyssenkrup is a good middle name for either.
Has no one said it yet?
There goes my plans for the weekend...
Glass elevator???
Most [all?] of the recently installed T station elevators, including the one that I frequently use at State, have glass walls and doors, supposedly intended to discourage this sort of activity.
And of course they all have security cameras.
I guess these folks didn't care they were putting on a public show.
Given the declining frequency of subway service these days, this feature also provides other riders a bit of extra entertainment while they wait, at no additional cost beyond the usual subway fare.
I wonder if the amorous couple were able to complete their act before the next (delayed) train to Wonderland.
Let's look for the purple banana
Are we gonna let elevator bring us down?
Oh no, let's go
Meanwhile, at the Andrew stop...
...where the escalators are dead dead dead dead dead (and god knows when they'll be fixed??), several of us taking the elevator up a few weeks ago were greeted by a pile of (human?) excrement in the corner of the elevator. Just wonderful, huh?
Though of course had that been in the elevator at State Street, the couple might not have chosen to fragrante their own delicto there...;-)