Boston Police report looking for a man they say tried to stab a clerk at the Uphams Corner Market, 521 Columbia Rd., 521 Columbia Road in Dorchester, failed, then whacked him with a Hot Pocket.
Police say the man, described as 5'1," was enraged because he had no ID and so the clerk refused to sell him a tobacco product, around 7:15 a.m. on Oct. 19. He then then ran out of the store, police say.
If he looks familiar, contact detectives at 617) 343-4275 or the anonymous tip line by calling 800-494-TIPS or by texting TIP to CRIME (27463). If found, he could face charges that would include assault and battery with a dangerous weapon, to wit, a Hot Pocket, and assault with a dangerous weapon, to wit, a knife.
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Comments
Assault and Battery with a Dangerous Weapon (Hot Pocket)
By FakeBostonCharlie
Sun, 10/27/2024 - 4:45pm
I'm sure Hot Pockets aren't the healthiest of foods, but this seems a stretch on the part of the officers.
Very subjective
By Sator
Sun, 10/27/2024 - 5:04pm
Was it frozen? How long was it in the microwave? Was it at molten lava stage?
Did you miss this part?
By SwirlyGrrl
Sun, 10/27/2024 - 7:22pm
That's a direct quote from the BPD report
By FakeBostonCharlie
Sun, 10/27/2024 - 10:27pm
Follow the link.
Expert testimony needed
By Angry Dan
Sun, 10/27/2024 - 7:29pm
How long do you have to nuke it in order to have a weapons grade Hot Pocket?
Not very
By lbb
Tue, 10/29/2024 - 10:04am
Still, for pure lethal power, Hot Pockets can't possibly compare with a McDonald's apple pie.
Austin Powers is suddenly
By MassMouse
Sun, 10/27/2024 - 10:05pm
Austin Powers is suddenly running through my head…
“Would you like a Hot Pocket?”
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