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Did Joe Kennedy's press-release writer just wake up after an 85-year snooze?
By adamg on Sun, 07/26/2020 - 10:10pm
The Kennedy campaign issued a press release today about how Ed Markey allegedly never visits most of Massachusetts, featuring what they think is a real zinger:
Strangely the towns/cities of Stoughton, Blackstone, Dana, Dudley, Enfield, and Prescott do not exist in Markey’s Massachusetts.
OK, Stoughton, Blackstone and Dudley are indeed places that Ed Markey might be ignoring (which, and let's be honest, he would not be alone in doing).
But Dana, Enfield and Prescott? Unless Kennedy is more of a Scuba diver than he's let on, he won't be visiting those towns, either, since they were all unincorporated in April, 1938, as the state was turning the Swift River valley into the Quabbin Reservoir.
Maybe Joe's people can schedule a trip out to Belchertown. The MWRA has a nice visitor center, conveniently located right off Rte. 9, where you can learn all about the four towns that now sit underwater and no longer legally exist.
But until they make the trip out there, here's a better list of Massachusetts towns for a guy who claims he will represent all of the state.
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Comments
What the heck were they
What the heck were they trying to say? Did they compare an (outdated) list of towns with a list of Markey's campaign stops, or towns mentioned in *his* press releases or something?
I could post the whole press release if you like
It's basically your standard "Incumbent sucks and he doesn't really live here anymore and here are some towns we weren't able to find evidence he'd done anything for," so not really worth mentioning on a site that has barely covered this election (save for the theater-nerd issue), but come on, we're all about the gaffes if nothing else. In any case, let me know if you'd like to see the whole thing.
Thanks, that explains it.
Thanks, that explains it.
How was the press release released? If it was on the campaign website, I couldn't find it, so maybe they are trying to pretend it never existed.
E-mail
I'm on Team Kennedy's media mailing list.
So Adam, why do you find
So Adam, why do you find Markey so attractive?
His adorable sneakers
No, I haven't taken a position on the race. It's just so rare to see a self own like this, though.
I have a followup
What kind of sneakers are they? I have to admit, my eyes have been drawn to them in his ads. They kind of look like Pumas, but I could be wrong.
All the hacks in Eastie are
All the hacks in Eastie are backing Kennedy, he was in Eastie several weeks ago visiting areas where the hacks live example Orient Heights , Falcon Street, etc. He should wear his izod Lacoste sweater and get on his expensive Yacht and Sail back to his Hyannis compound, then fly on his families private jet to some wealthy destination like Monte Carlo and party with the rich..
85 year snooze
Is more of a dig at Markey for being in politics longer than most have been alive. And accomplishing very little.
Yep, that's it
I mean, I could have written a different headline to make the press release sound stupid, but I decided to focus on the fact those towns disappeared in 1938, and, like, how would they even get put into a press release these days? Where did the Kennedy campaign get its list of Massachusetts town names? Some yellowed sheets an intern dug up out of a mildewed old box down in the basement out at the Compound?
Markey has never attended a
Markey has never attended a Boston Braves game as he prefers to spend time in the other 47 states.
I really hope Joe doesn’t win
I really hope Joe doesn’t win. He’s just such an inauthentic try-hard. I usually eagerly support a race against an incumbent but this...ugh.
The one item that gives me pause
If Markey wins, then heaven forbid, dies while in office, do we really want Charlie appointing even a temporary replacement? I'm old enough to remember Scott Douche Brown.
Not my only decision factor but an important one.
Brown was elected
If you're old enough to remember Scott Brown, perhaps you'll remember that he wasn't appointed by Gov. Patrick when Ted Kennedy died. Gov. Patrick appointed Paul Kirk. Brown was elected in a special election held several months later, in large part due to the incompetent campaigning of Martha Coakley.
Of course (elected)
And yes, Martha, Martha, Martha.... ;(
Who's now off saving the vaping industry.
Good thing :-)
And just where was Ed when that giant vat of molasses exploded?!
Gallivanting around D.C., no doubt.
No visits to Stoughton!?!
It's almost like Markey doesn't even WANT the IKEA vote. Forget the Green New Deal, I just want a BARGAIN.
I won't stand for these lies!
We've all seen Markey shoving his way through the crowds at the Christmas Tree Shop to get a great deal on a closeout seasonal doormat.
He's missing the Town Spa
If nothing else, a visit to the Town Spa is well worth it.
Markey not showing up is status quo
It's too bad their press release focused on old town names because they don't need to make it up. Markey never shows up. Probably tried to make it seem bigger or they aren't from MA, but best to stick to facts. Or have someone from here proofread
When that federal pipeline was coming in and ending in West Roxbury next to that crushed stone factory, I think everyone thought Markey was going to be their champion (since he is the environmental guy).
Instead I remember reading on this site & other places how everyone was upset Markey never showed up or spoke up after those people just got him elected for a couple years.
Markey's Democratic opponent though, Lynch, was with the community after he lost to Markey. So was Al Gore's daughter.
And hey, I have family in Stoughton! Nothing wrong with Stoughton.
Hey now, a lot is wrong with
Hey now, a lot is wrong with Stoughton
Source: Grew up in Canton
(/s)
All in the family
He really thinks he is the reincarnation of JFK to the point where he can only focus on events that happened during JFK's life.
The merfolk of Quabbin
The merfolk of Quabbin Reservoir are outraged by Markey's lack of attention to their community.
They were especially peeved
...when Markey blew off the big festival attended by King Triton and Prince Namor the Sub-mariner.
In MA
In Boston he's known as Prince Namah the Grindah.
Not to be confused
...with Nomah, who played shawt.
Perhaps somebody on Kennedy's staff
(or Kennedy himself) has seen In Dreams one too many times.
Greenwich Massachusetts, on
Greenwich Massachusetts, on the other hand, must have gotten all the attention it deserves from Markey.
Good one anon. I noticed
Good one anon. I noticed that too. Actually what surprises me that in his tenure as senator, he did have occasion to visit all but three of the existing 351 cities and towns.
Sorry, kid.
I know you're eager, filled with vim and vigor
But your last name just doesn't mean what it used to around these parts.
Start small and focus locally.
Build a name for yourself and don't try to unseat a solid Blue Senate seat just because you think someone has been there too long and you deserve to be there.
Because you don't. Not yet.
can't beat a real progressive challenger
I've been trying to figure out Joe's logic beyond snag a seat with his last name and coast for the next 50 years. My current theory is that he knows he will loose to a real progressive so he is trying to pull this off in a year when other elections are getting the notice.
I'd be happy to replace Markey is someone good came along but Joe K ain't it.
Defund the Police
Has worked in the towns of Dana, Enfield and Prescott crime is at an all time low.
And what about Greenwich?
You can't avoid Enfield, Dana, and Prescott without missing out on Greenwich, surely? Ad it's GREEN-witch, by the way, not Grennich.
Thank you
I was about to say the same (as I may have multiple times here before). By the way, Greenwich Park, a street in the South End between Columbus Ave and the Southwest Corridor is named for the former town (as many streets in the South End are named for Massachusetts towns and cities), so it should be pronounced as the town was. A half mile away in Lower Roxbury is Greenwich St (near Windsor, Warwick, and Sussex streets), which is most likely named for the place in the UK and probably should be pronounced like the place in Connecticut. Or the place near London.
How do you know how it's
How do you know how it's pronounced? Have you met a nonoagenarian from Greenwich who speaks the local dialect?
It's pronounced Green-witch.
Necturus is right. It's pronounced Green-witch. I grew up in one of the towns that annexed part of Greenwich after it was disincorporated and I actually have met people who lived there. There's even a Greenwich Rd in my home town (also pronounced Green-witch).
The residents of Innsmouth, on the other hand
report that Kennedy is a frequent visitor and, in fact, a regular attendee at The Order of Dagon Hall there.
The Order of Dagon Hall in Innsmouth
is now a Starbucks. Yuppification, ya know.
In his house at R'lyeh dead Cthulhu waits dreaming...
or at least he did, but given R'lyeh rents these days, who can afford it?? These days he has to do his waiting and dreaming in East Yuggoth and commute to R'lyeh when he needs to rise up and devour the world.
You just try to find a cheap apartment in R'lyeh
and you'll get the reaction "R'lyeh, now?"
Joe just lost the Pioneer Valley.
Wow.
I don't think he ever had it, but...
...the Pioneer Valley is not the Quabbin.
Well, yes.
But everyone there knows about the Quabbin, and while they might not know the town names, "under the Quabbin" will be good enough for the inevitable razzing.
I suspect Markey, though, is too much of a nice guy to use this gaffe, though it's really emblematic of the Kennedy campaign.
no lamehame, unstable, or
no lamehame, unstable, or shamesbury?