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Mooninite column madness
By adamg on Fri, 02/02/2007 - 1:32pm
Oh, darn, I said I wasn't going to write anything else about the things unless something truly, spectacularly stooopid came out. But I can't help myself - swatting Brian McGrory around is like peanuts; once you start, you just can't stop. So here goes with a comparison of four local columns today:
Brian McGrory
Bad Hair Day in Boston.
C-
Some interesting tidbits about Berdovsky wound up wrapped in-between - and completely ruined by - McGrory's stupid nervious tick of starting pretty much every paragraph with "This was the column I was going to write this morning." Sorry you ran out of things to say two paragraphs from the end, Bri, but find a better way to pad out your column next time, mkay?
Howie Carr
Dude, like, send Borat packing
D-
I hope the folks at the Herald don't get too upset when I reveal here that Carr actually died five years ago - and that the paper is now using a Carr column generator. An editorial assistant fills in the subject's nationality and distinguishing characteristics, hits Submit and waits a couple seconds while the PC spits out a MadLibbian column just like Carr would have written before that unfortunate "accident." A pity Berdovsky isn't fat - there are just so many amusing synonyms the Carrbot has stored up for that. "Borat is a refugee all right - from a 'Beavis and Butthead' episode." Man, that's just Carr gold. But honestly, guys, any chance you could update your algorithms? The thing's starting to get stale.
Steve Bailey
Laughing to the bank
A
Wah! Why can't Steve Bailey be re-assigned to the Metro desk? His best columns are about the absurdities of life in the Hub of the Universe, anyway. This column simply and cleanly sums up the whole mess. And props for running the prominent photo of Ignignokt "displaying an obscene gesture."
Peter Gelzinis
Phony threat escalated real danger in hoax
B+
What's this? A columnist actually breaking news? Well, OK, technically, Gelzinis didn't break the story - Boston Police posted the pipe-bomb thing on their Web site - but give him credit for going after this angle rather than simply making cracks about Berdovsky's hair.
Dan Kennedy has some more thoughts.
I'm just jealous because nobody's paying me to write about a cartoon I'd never heard of four days ago.
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Comments
Carr also misspelled Belarus
Carr also misspelled Belarus (in no fewer than 2 separate parts of the word) in the first release of yesterday's online column.
They've since fixed it.
The Spelling Errors Ain't the Half of It
Carr's geographic ignorance is astounding! Belarus isn't just way far away from Kazakhstan (from whence the fictional Borat hails), it's actually closer to England (where comedian Sasha Barton Cohen comes from). That's kind of like saying George Bush is from Venezuela because they have oil, too, and they are on an adjacent continent.
Carr just can't seem to get over the break up of the Soviet Union, as he calls them all "russkies". Please, someone get this guy a map and a junior-high history book explaining the collapse of the Soviet Union in plain language. People from Belarus is not part of Russia, and, actually, never was even when ruled from Moscow.
I'm not Howie Carr, but ...
at the "demonstration" before the arraignment, I could not remember which country Peter was a refugee from, and blurted out "Uzbekistan". Oh well, at least that didn't make it onto any TV station's videotape.
you really wasted your time
you really wasted your time by demonstrating? you have way too much time on your hands, ronald. in regards to Carr, it is obvious that his references to Borat and Ruskies are meant to be humorous, not geographically accurate. DEPORT ZEBBLER!!!!
How did we waste our time?
We said, "these charges don't make sense. The evidence doesn't support them." At the arraignment, the judge appeared to agree. I predict the felony charges will soon be dropped.
i agree. if you read the
i agree. if you read the statute correctly, and if it is applied strictly, then there is no chance for a conviction. i just find it strange that people would take time out of their lives to "protest" an arraignment for these two clowns (i would guess that a lot of the protestors were unemployed). they may not be felons, but they were dumb enough to attach objects with batteries and protruding wires beneath bridges. i fail to see how that is art, as some have stated. it's advertising for a corporation.
your guess is wrong
The "protest" was organized spontaneously on LiveJournal the night before the arraignment. I did not know any of the other "protestors" and I suspect many of them did not know each other either.
I have a full-time job and went to the arraignment before work. A number of the other people I met there work in retail stores or other places that don't follow a 9-to-5 schedule.
Shouldn't somebody protest when the government scapegoats people and improperly accuses them of felonies? Without the protest, the government's side of the story would be the only side heard by the media and the public.
i would argue that they are
i would argue that they are not falsely accused. they were charged with disroderly conduct and the hoax device charge. it can be easily be argued that they did place a hoax device. what is hard to prove is thier intent to cause panic. this is hardly a miscarriage of justice. i can think of plenty of people who are more worthy of your help than two morons, whose idea of "art" is top place odd looking objects under bridges.