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Man gets on Red Line, suddenly remembers he left his 1-year-old in the back seat of his car at the train station

WCVB reports on an incident at North Quincy this morning.

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"wallet, cellphone, keys, ok thats everything!"

"fuck."

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He made a horrible mistake & did the right thing to correct it. Glad they're withholding his name because the usual pile-on is waiting to happen.

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about that "at this time" disclaimer on WCVB's statement about not disclosing the person's name.

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Because I think most parents of young kids have had a moment that could have played out similarly. I know I've gotten halfway to work before realizing one of my kids was in the back seat and I'd passed daycare 15 minutes earlier.

Sleep deprivation combines with trying to shift mental gears from packing lunches, making breakfast, diapering/dressing all the way to what meetings are scheduled and who needs what first thing at work.

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There have been articles about this... including a pretty extensive study of people who have left their babies in cars with fatal results... the conclusion seems to be that there is no evidence that the parents were in any way neglectful or uncaring

http://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/magazine/fatal-distraction-forge...

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It's also worth noting where this doesn't happen - in front of a convenience store.

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Guess we have some understanding folks here, people who know others are not flawless.

I've pointed out the Weingarten story in other places (not UH) and gotten lambasted by people who claim that they are the perfect parent and could not possibly forget a child in a car. Ever.

In response, I point out that the people in the story were just like them : the perfect parent who would never leave their child in the car - until they did.

Good to see a better reaction here.

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I've gone round and round with some folks on the Weingarten story...
Them: "But I know that *I* would never do that."

Me: "But don't you think that any of the folks who lost kids this way would have said exactly the same thing?"

Them: "That doesn't matter. I just know that I would never do that."

Lack of self awareness is a pet peeve.

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Was there a time when this sort of incident wouldn't be news? Other than the call to police, that is. Not like he left the kid on top of the car or anything.

Fortunately, it is a mild day and the error was discovered reasonably quickly.

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I agree with you, incidents like these weren't on the news in the past, probably because news directors had a sense of decency back then. These incidents aren't news, they are sad mistakes or accidents, and why exacerbate the grief a parent feels by bringing attention to their mistake to a wide audience.

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I remember when someone getting the measles wasn't a newsworthy event either. I'm still not sure it's a newsworthy event, but people aren't as used to measles as they once were so the news plays on those fears.

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Sorry, man. Modern parents are not above reproach. I think, if nothing else, this situation calls attention to the ridiculous "burn the candle at both ends" society we live in. People "want it all". They want the high-paying job, but also still want a family. Yes, one can have both, but people are stretched so thin with having to be constantly "on" job wise, while still having to be a full time parent that these types of mistakes probably happen more often than we would all like to know.

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But sensationalism isn't appropriate, either. Thanks to the likes of Nancy Grace and her ilk, people are terrified to let their kids walk to school for fear of predators and crime, despite the fact that most predators are family or known to family and crime had dropped considerably from when we were kids walking to school.

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But that has nothing to do with my reply. You're talking about the culture of fear that we have allowed to take over our society. I was talking about the state of modern parents.

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I wonder if it is also due to the fact, in my case anyways, mothers for the most part were home during the day. Professional child care centers are a newer thing. Olden days it was family or neighbors. Maybe these type things didn't happen? Dads juggling child care duties was not a "thing" when I was a kid.

Things were certainly less hectic back in my day and certainly people have a lot more on their mind between work, home and kids.

ps: I know; "get off my lawn you young whippersnappers!"

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Not only were most moms home during the day, with few kids in daycare past the mom next door, but there was also no such thing as an infant seat for a car. Infants rode in cars either in bassinets or held by adults. It's hard to forget a kid if you're holding him.

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The terrifying thought with that is: what happens if you get into an accident while holding an unsecured child? Parenthood is a gauntlet of terror no matter which generation you're from!

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Yes, I asked my mom one time how she drove with small children in the car. The youngest was wrapped in a blanket lying on the front seat (no bucket seats then) and she'd "hold" me to make sure I didnt' roll. I am sure as she was making sure I didn't roll, she had a Chesterfield going at the same time.

The back seat was a free for all with other kids.

Looking back at our childhoods, it is surprising there weren't more injuries.

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A childhood friend of mine had a close call and wrote an article for Time about it:

When I realized what else I had forgotten, I learned the true meaning of “panic attack.” I just stood there, paralyzed by a deeper fear than I have ever known.

Universal Hub readers with excellent memories may recognize the author's name from this 2010 story.

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when the heat and humidity could have led to a fatality.

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This is just one of many reasons I never had kids. I am the most distracted, absent-minded, forgetful person I know. I can only imagine the sick feeling a parent gets in cases like this -- even when s/he remembers quickly and no permanent harm is done. How on earth do people handle the mind-blowing responsibility of keeping these small humans alive????

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Today's parents will make sure they tell you all about their hardship and then remind you over and over in case they think you've forgotten how heroic they are to make the choice to have kids.

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.....a single person or couple like this. (even if it is heroic) ;-)

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We all do. It's the main reason I stopped using Facebook: the uber-parents never let an opportunity to remind us all how special their little gum drop is get past them. If I had a dollar for every time I've heard or read something that began with, "As a parent..."

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I think there was a mischievous little wink accompanying that reply. As in, the writer maybe does know a few folks like that? (But I could be wrong. I'm not always 100 percent accurate at online "tone" detection, myself).

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If people still actually say that. I took myself too seriously for a moment.

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I don't.

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Always have to let you know that they are special and can't be questioned.

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Stay on topic.

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The scariest thing for this dad was realizing he'd have to rely on the MBTA to get him back to his defenseless child. That's gotta kick up the anxiety a notch or two.

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How on earth do people handle the mind-blowing responsibility of keeping these small humans alive????

With a little luck, when your kids are tiny, some wise person reminds you enough times that "parenthood is life on the edge, 24x7" that you kind of get used to the concept, and you realize that if 7 billion other kids' parents managed to keep them alive, you're probably up to the job, too.

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Like his wife is not going to recognize his voice from the 911 tape?

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Puts most right to sleep. Not a peep.

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but I thought your comment would be how the baby would not have been forgotten if he was wearing brighter-colored clothing. :)

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Cos I just spit it everywhere. Thanks. LOL

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Mistakes happen I agree. No excuse to forget your baby. As a teacher of one year olds I have to be on my toes @ all times. Tired or not they are my responsibility. If I left one of them outside Guess what?! I would be fired. It wouldn't matter if I had realized It 10 mins later. That would make the news. Would people be so understanding then? Doubt it

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This happens and it is a forgiveable and understandable mistake. Happened in my family several times. The stories are family legends now. Hopefully this very lucky father never rushes or lets himself be distracted like that around his kids again. MagaIne the nightmares he will probably have.

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There's a reason we have the term "accidents." Because NO ONE ever thinks whatever it is going to happen to them. It's also very easy to cast judgment on others. Victim blaming is a form of magical thinking (people use it to tell themselves it will never happen to them).

And I think this dad is going to be having nightmares about this for pretty much the rest of his life. This is the kind of thing that ends marriages too, which would be way worse for that kid than being stuck in a car seat for 35 minutes. One of the thing that prevents divorce is community support and connection that helps people through major troubles. If the dad is so overworked and sleep deprived that something like this could happen, maybe he (and others like him) will realize that something needs to change in his life. Or maybe it was just one of those horrible random things that have no explanation. But saying it happened because he's some kind of bad person -- the kind of bad person YOU could never be, of course -- is not helpful.

So lay off the guy. He did everything right when he realized his mistake.

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was totally inexcusable. Let's hope the kid's okay, and that this parent learned his lesson, even though it was the hard way.

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I'm glad this worked out ok.

Now I just hope the police or DCF don't go after the family. I don't see what that would accomplish besides political gain.

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