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The frustration of being a robot named Marty
By adamg on Sat, 10/05/2019 - 11:11pm
Marty stood in Aisle 3, seething, his eyes flashing yellow in impotent rage, for he had no arms and could only grimly warn passersby of the danger that lay in front of him, a dropped package of fruit rollups.
This was in the Dedham Stop & Shop tonight. Marty just glumly kept muttering "Danger!" and "Peligro!" as a robo-lady on the PA kept declaring "Cleanup in Aisle 3!" until, finally, somebody went there and ordered Marty into his corner at the front of the store so he could recharge and reconsider his existence or something (and, presumably, then bent down and picked up the fruit rollups).
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Comments
This is stupid
This robot is dumb. Literally does nothing but a publicity stunt
If it makes you feel any
If it makes you feel any better, it's also likely collecting facial recognition data.
marty
watch out for the fruits and vegetables.
Marty Is Being Stretched Too Thin
I've seen him at Stop & Shop in Watertown, also. I bet he doesn't even get minimum wage! Poor bastard. When will we stop mistreating our robot friends?
Suldog
Did Marty influence other hiring activity at Stop & Shop
Or was it specifically limited to Boston Calling?
Marty on the MBTA
Marty should be hired by the MBTA to alert passengers to fires, delays, teenage troublemakers and passed out homeless passengers. He probably won't be able to ride trains or buses but neither do the Transit police.
Marty's a stalker
I swear that thing was following me around in an otherwise quiet Stop and Shop.
It was always in the way.
He's gonna get them sued for profiling, and I'm white.
Brain the size of a planet
And all I can do is summon non-existent employees to pick up fruit roll ups.
It's a big store, but
I don't think they have an Aisle 42...
I didn't know the Dedham Stop and Shop was built
on the ruins of the legendary planet of Magrethea.
The employees are in suspended animation
Marty just guards the place until the local life forms can develop a civilization capable of restocking the lemon scented towelettes in about 10000 years.
Marty in Neponset
I like to play games with Marty when he hangs in the Neponset Stop & Shop. I drive my shopping cart quickly right up to him and force him to stop. He is afraid of fast moving shopping carts.
Also, in some cases I have seen, Marty does not recognize the difference between a real cleanup needed and a merchandising display on the floor. It is clear that the employees universally hate Marty and usually just ignore him. Just because Marty is demanding a cleanup doesn't mean the employees care any more or less than they normally would. The result is that damn clean up message on the PA system just repeats and repeats and repeats.
Never gets old
"Klaatu barada nikto"
In this case
In this case I believe it's Marty, barada nikto...
Every time I see him
I mumble the DUM-DUM-DE-DUM-DUM music from The Terminator.
(And yes, I know he's a robot and not a cyborg...)
Did Marty's two buffoons force him to join the union?
Marty might be good on the Zoning Board of Appeals. Smarter and more articulate than most of the board. They could add a greased palm or a money drop slot so he feels included. Plus, he can't testify or can he?
maybe he could replace
Ayanna Pressley in Congress
There wasn't time
When not patrolling the aisles of a grocery store, Marty has been moonlighting as President Trump's attache to Ukraine. Except he's recorded everything, and will be calling for Congress to cleanup on aisle 1 shortly.
video?
video?
Stupid Overlords
Is it OK to punch a robot? Asking for a friend.
First things first.
"Does the robot have any lasers?"
Laser beam?
No, no. That would be too obvious.
Send Marty all over to
Send Marty all over to Causeway and Portland to clean the sidewalks.
he doesn't clean anything, he
he doesn't clean anything, he just finds things on the floor and makes announcements
It seems disrespectful
to name an armless robot after the mayor.
Right
Even a robot deserves better.
I like to zap my self
I like to zap my self checkout laser in Marty's electronic eyes and pretend it's a deadly blaster ray.