Sometimes the T really is hell: Satan tries to get woman's number on the Orange Line
Transit Police report officers had to boot Beelzebub out of Forest Hills Monday night for frightening a woman on the Orange Line with a hellish pickup technique.
According to police, officers were summoned to Forest Hills around 10:45 p.m. to interview a distraught woman who'd just gotten off the train:
While traveling on an Orange Line train a male sat across from her. The male dressed in all black attire was wearing a mask, covering his entire face, and had his hood on with the draw string pulled tightly around his face. The male typed on his phone and then extended his arm out towards the reporting party displaying a message on his phone. The message stated " I am Satan". The male then intently stared at the reporting party. The reporting party informed the officers this frightened her and pointed out the alleged Satan.
The officers then asked Lucifer the nature of his game:
Officers approached the male, 22 of Boston who was dressed as described, and inquired about his actions. The male admitted to displaying the message while staring at her ominously but claimed he was only flirting with her and trying to be funny and further stated " I was going to try and get her number".
Officers expressed little sympathy for the devil:
Officers advised the male his attempt was not found humorous and had the opposite effect. The reporting party was escorted by officers to her desired location and the male was ejected from the station.
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Comments
TBH, he sounds like a man of
TBH, he sounds like a man of neither wealth nor taste.
Have a little sympathy.
I mean, the underworld is kinda his turf.
He should've used his well
He should've used his well-learned politesse.
Just call him Lucifer
cause he's in need of some restraint.
The SCARY thing is...
That line probably works sometimes.
try 100...
Try this "pickup" technique 100 hundred times? Maybe 2 or 3 takers!
I suspect its closer to
1 out of 666
But only if...
you're devilishly cute
for a minute
I thought you meant the Orange Line
2 comments
1). All news stories should be required to intersperse punny & lyrical references. Nicely done.
2). Imagine the police officer's conversation that night at dinner. What did you do at work today, honey? Oh me? I literally had to make a deal with the devil...
Can Satan sue?
If Satan paid his fare and did not break any laws what gives the police the legal right to eject him from the station? If he posed a danger to the public why did the police let him walk away to bother other females on the streets?
Satanic culpability
If Satan paid his fare and did not break any laws, he's hardly doing his job, is he? That would probably get him expelled from Hell. Kicked out of Heaven, kicked out of Hell, where to turn? What's left? Worcester?
Intentional behavior to scare
Intentional behavior to scare or alarm someone is illegal.
Cops don’t have to arrest someone if they don’t see the need.
Very clever, Adam and sympathetic cohort!
I like what you did there!
Sartre was right. Hell
truly is other people.
Especially on the T.
Especially on the T.
So if Satan was taking the Orange Line to Forest Hills...?
So if Satan was taking the Orange Line to Forest Hills at 10:45 pm on a Monday night, was he on his way home? Or on his way to work? Or.... ? Does he live in JP, or was he going to visit someone? Or does he just park there? So many questions.