We are technological troglodytes. Not only don't we have cell phones, our kitchen phone is a mid-'70s rotary-dial wall-mounted Bell System phone, the sort you could easily use as a murder weapon ("Bell System property Do not use as a murder weapon" is imprinted on the receiver).

Last night, I answered the phone. It was Suffolk County Sheriff Andrea J. Cabral!

Sheriff Andrea J. Cabral, or rather, a recording of Sheriff Andrea J. Cabral (who no doubt included her middle initial to avoid confusion with Sheriff Andrea K. Cabral), was calling to urge that I vote for youthful ward Dick Grayson, um, at-large City Council candidate Matt O'Malley in next week's elections (O'Malley ran her sheriff's campaign last fall). OK, fine.

Then she tells me to "press 1" for more information. Only I can't, being on a rotary phone. So I hang up. Then I pick up again because, well, I don't trust automated messages like this. And sure enough, there's Sheriff Andrea J. Cabral, urging me to hit 1 again. I hang up. I pick up. Apparently interpreting my hangup as a hearing deficit on my part, she once again urges me to hit 1. I hang up and go away. At some point, robotic Sheriff Andrea J. Cabral must have gotten tired of repeating herself, because we've gotten phone calls today.

I thought systems like this were illegal - imagine if hearing from Sheriff Andrea J. Cabral so stressed me out that I had a heart attack and then I died because when I picked up the phone to dial 911, I couldn't, because Sheriff Andrea J. Cabral was still there, yelling at me to hit 1. But even if there's some sort of First Amendment exemption for city-council candidates, well, Matt, annoying voters is not the way to get elected.