The Buddy Cianci commercial contest

OK, obviously I'm going over the deep end obsessing about the wonderfulness of a character like Buddy Cianci moving to Boston, but, well, see, some of you may remember how I bought three plush e. coli bacteria for a TV death pool that nobody won and they're still in our foyer closet and the saner members of the household want to know when I'm getting rid of them, so:

Now that Buddy Cianci is becoming the live-in shill for 15 Beacon (technically, XV Beacon, but please):

Come up with the best idea for how Buddy can pitch the hotel and win a stuffed bacterium, something like:

Buddy stands in the lobby and screams at the camera: "So come on down! Take it from me: It'd be criminal not to!"

If I get more than three entries, I'll put it to a vote; the top three winners will each get one of these things. Post your entry as a reply here or mail it to me by noon EDT, Thursday, May 24.

Note: That's an image of one of the stuffed bacteria, not of Buddy Cianci, but, hey, turn it upside down and you have Buddy in a windstorm!