Hmm, you don't think they took the Red Line, do you?

An alleged pair of lunkheads managed to steal an ATM from a Beacon Hill pizza place early this morning and lug it back to South Boston - only to promptly get arrested - officials say.

Gerald Perkins, 37, and William Tierney, 24, were arraigned today in South Boston District Court on charges of receiving stolen property, breaking into a depository and breaking and entering, the Suffolk County District Attorney's office reports. Tierney was also arraigned on charges of possession of burglarious tools and possession of a Class B substance - the DA's office says police found about 30 Gabapentin painkilling pills.

Judge Michael C. Bolden Set both men's bails at $10,000 and revoked both of their open bails on unrelated charges, the DA's office says.

Exactly how they got the ATM from Primo Pizza on Myrtle Street on Beacon Hill to a basement on Darius Court in the Old Colony project near Andrew Square remains under investigation, a spokesman for the DA's office said. He added, "the good police work that led to those arrests should not be overshadowed by the thieves' utter ineptitude."

Boston Police report that about the time officers on Beacon Hill were responding to the pizza place, officers in South Boston were responding to the Old Colony project in South Boston on reports two guys were lugging an ATM around, which is not something one normally sees there, especially not around 5 a.m.

On arrival, officers searched the area to no avail until they walked into 20 Darius Court where they heard banging consistent with a hammer being used coming from the basement area.

Officers went to the basement, and noticed that the door appeared to be damaged with pry marks on it. Officers entered the basement area and there discovered an ATM machine that had been damaged, a safe that had been broken into, a cash drawer that had been damaged , a two wheel cart, a sledgehammer, a crowbar, a screwdriver, gloves, a set of keys, sleeping bag, clothes and money. The room that these items were found in was a small section of the basement that walls surrounding into except for one area that had cinder blocks removed from it creating a hole.

Officers then requested the presence of a canine officer who reported to the scene. On scene, the canine officer and his dog, Nitro entered into the hole in the wall and there located two suspects hiding in the area, one in a small room and the other in a crawl space.

Innocent, etc.