Orange you glad you don't live in Athol?
Yesterday morning, the ever serious David Bernstein at the Phoenix noted Salem's attempt to get over the whole witchcraft thing with a new municipal slogan and wondered what other towns could adopt as their slogans. Suggestions continue to pour in; here are some of the best (so far):
[rollzroix] Somerville: Like the US, we have three branches of government: 1/3 Mayor, 1/3 Aldermen, 1/3 Pat's Towing
[bokeller12] Boston: lost if by car, late if by T.
[alaNna_baRr] Lynn Lynn the city of sin you never come out the way you went in
[MegPettersson] Southie-Every citizen has a personal friend on America's Most Wanted.
[_awebster] Revere: Jersey Shore meets Gangland
[BelmontPlumbing] Belmont we have Winslow Homer, Mitt Romney and Deviled Ham.
[JQuincyAdams] Foxborough: Sure, you can park on our lawn. That'll be $300, please.
[Berkshires247] Pittsfield: We take life with a grain of salt. Plus a slice of lemon, and a shot of tequila.
[cubiclegirl] Roslindale: Almost JP, not quite Hyde Park.
[JQuincyAdams] Woburn: You didn't see that movie? Don't drink the water...no, seriously, don't drink it.
[JQuincyAdams] Salem: Making money off of executing innocent people since 1692!
[JQuincyAdams] Fall River: Hey, remember Lizzie Borden? Yeah, that's pretty much all we've got.
[DomMahoney] Aguwam: We have Six Flags, you really don't have any other choice.
[DomMahoney] Arlington: For when you fall asleep on the train and you're still not at Copley Station.
[nancylewis96] Framingham - We were mentioned on Family Guy. Boo. Yah.
[bobryan] Orange you glad you don't live in Athol?.
[jgp21] Everett: spelt B-R-A-Z-I-L
[WhatAboutBobby] Beachmont: Revere Lite
[BlytheOnTuesday] Dorchester: Home of the Wahlbergs!
[dontpanicllama sam mattos] Taunton: You know you leave when the roads get better.
[judes91122 Judy Tweel] Walpole: Many stay against their will
[tlkpts talking points] Norfolk: "Home of the Roundabout"
[superdecent1113 Spencer Plunkett] Ipswich, all we've got are fried clams and a dairy queen
[GenauGenauGenau] Amherst, we take pride in being ourselves, as long as that is borderline-offensive politically-correctness (Tweet some!)
[danwelch73] Milford: We have more Chinese food restaurants per capita than
To see them all go here and come up with some more!
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Provincetown: it's far out
I've never forgotten a real
I've never forgotten a real estate listing that began:
I don't think I can top that, honestly, but I'll give it a shot:
And, just for Adam:
Just add
"Gateway to" or "By The ...".
So you have "Medford ... Gateway to Somerville" or "Concord by the Prison", etc.
Framingham as the touchstone of evil
Way back in the day, while reporting on Acton, I covered some planning meeting or Town Meeting or something where somebody complained about the Framinghamization of Acton. The next week, somebody in Boxborough complained about the Actonization of Boxborough. I susppose somebody in Bolton in turn complained about the Boxboroughization of Bolton and so on all the way down Rte. 2 ...
Want a bumper sticker?
Boston's slogan on a bumper sticker:
http://www.cafepress.com/lostorlate.508836761
There's nothing wrong with
There's nothing wrong with Brookline's current town motto: No overnight parking
Allston
Rock City! Just like Detroit!
[size=10](in more ways than one...)[/size]
Brighton...We are not Allston
Brighton...We are not Allston :-)
Or alternatively....
Brighton...BC SUCKS!
No love for Spatch?
It's criminal that this conversation hasn't mentioned www.spatch.net/slogans.html, which has been one of my favorite things on the internet approximately forever now.
• Scituate: We Dare You To Pronounce Us.
• Somerville: Cambridge's Kid Brother With The Perpetually Runny Nose
• Marlborough: Smoke If You've Got Em.
• Southborough: We Didn't Like Marlborough, So We Left.
• Northborough: Me, Too.
• Westborough: Oh Yeah? Well, We Don't Like Any Of You!
• Arlington. We Didn't Want The Red Line In The First Place, So There
Et cetera :-)
whole lotta love
for spatch. There are some very funny ones there, but many of them don't have much to do with the towns.
Personally, I think the Saugus one was kind of lame. I mean there's so much rich material there...
Saugus, come sit in our traffic
If you lived here, you'd be overdosing now!
Visit the Ironworks! It's free.
Screw the 'Loon we got Kanes!
Saugus, voting against our own self-interests since 1952.
Baggy-eyed, Dunks-clutchin Hockey Dads Wanted
Goddamnit the strip clubs AREN'T in this town!!
Don't diss the Iron Works
Awesome place. ;~}
The Person In Charge
I understand that the person in charge of the Saugus Iron Works is the ferrous wheel (writen by denizen of Methuen, Ma, the ONLY Methuen in the world).
Dedham...
it is a mean little town.
South Shore needs representation
How about:
Braintree: There are people actually living here amongst the malls, highways and train tracks, we swear.
Quincy: Southie's ugly little sister
Weymouth: Come sit in our beautiful Route 18 traffic
Hingham: Belmont of the South Shore
Hull: Revere of the South Shore
Holbrook: eh, who are we kidding? Nobody visits Holbrook
Randolph: Gateway to Brockton
Scituate: Quaintness totally makes up for the remoteness
Marshfield: Please check your video games at the border upon entry
Abington: First in alphabet
Actually...
Surely that should be:
Randolph: Did somebody say IKEA?
Ikea
isn't that in Stoughton?
Wait, what?
Those are different towns now?
You're kidding me. In that case,
Randolph: Attention IKEA shoppers, you're looking for Stoughton. It's another exit down Rt 24. (But our Target is quite nice, no? Guys?)
Toughtown Respect
Target is also in Stoughton.
Third time's a charm?
Randolph: We got nuthin.
Oh come on...
They have a Not Your Average Joe's! (Conveniently on the way home from IKEA.)
Randolph - Mattapan South.
Randolph - Mattapan South.
Watertown
"Hey! Why is Belmont Laughing?"
Suldog
http://jimsuldog.blogspot.com
Hello from sunny...
Belchertown: As a matter of fact, we have heard that one before.
Bolton: Spiritual home to no-talent assclowns everywhere.
Falmouth: Fuck yeah we're Falmouth.
Florida: Welcome to Florida! No, the the other one. Yes, there is another one. Stop laughing. Please.
Lincoln: They Might Be Giants named an album after us, need we say more?
Lowell: We aren't that bad these days, trust us.
Montague: Wherefore are thou, Juliet?
Monterey: Welcome to Monterey! No, the the other, other Monterey.
Nantucket: As a matter of fact, we have heard that one before.
Sherwood Forest : A magical place with no zombies but there are dragons and flying chair incidents from time to time
Dana, Enfield, Greenwich, Prescott: We used to have a home. Now Boston has a reservoir. You're welcome. (No swimming or fishing, please: we're a public water supply.)
There's a closer Sherwood Forest
It's a small part of West Natick, where the roads have names like Robin Hood Road. After it went in, a developer built a strip mall between it and Rte. 9; he called it Sherwood Plaza.
Yes, but...
Yes, but does the West Natick one have a zombie infestation?
Plymouth: Tourist Trap since
Plymouth: Tourist Trap since 1620.
Somerville
One of the country's densest populations!