Hey, there! Log in / Register
T police decide it's OK for a guy to hold a young girl's hand on a bus if they're related
By adamg on Tue, 05/06/2008 - 10:09pm
A passenger noticed a man holding the child's hand. That passenger says she overheard the girl say she was hungry, and the man told her to "Please be quiet."
T police say there was no criminal conduct. They consider the case closed.
Ed. Been There note: I feel for the guy.
Topics:
Free tagging:
Ad:
Support Universal Hub
Help keep Universal Hub going. If you like what we're up to and want to help out, please consider a (completely non-deductible) contribution.
Comments
WTF?
Sounds like this man got (gasp) CAUGHT ACTING LIKE A FATHER to a young person.
Oh noes, how will civilization survive active parenting by males with some sense of decorum???
(I've actually seen this duo at Sullivan and on the bus - the child is well behaved and the caretaker is very moderate in tone)
Paranoia
And people wonder why men are largely staying away from jobs that put them into contact with kids (you know...like teaching and all those other unimportant ones).
If a kid was laying bleeding
If a kid was laying bleeding in the street I'd keep walkin'. People are too crazy for me to deal with. Thanks to all the a-hole parents out there, I don't care whether their kids live or die. If you think I'm nasty, ask Gerald Amirault.
me too! finally someone who shares my feelings...not that I care
I hate all those crazy kids bleeding in the streets and their a-hole parents. I'm ambivalent about their lives but I'm not as compassionate as other compassionate people, ask a man convicted of pedophilia.
That's ask an innocentman
That's ask an innocentman railroaded for a crime he didn't do. Because of people like you.
railroaded?
I thought they were on a bus.
All men are guilty until
All men are guilty until proven innocent (and even then there is a suspicion)of being possible child molesters in this culture. This is just another way that men are trapped into behaviors in this society that are antisocial and aggressive--what else is allowed to them? I like children, they are fine. But I just avoid them. It's easier.
Oh, no they aren't
This is a mistake, but it hardly proves that all men are persecuted as child molesters.
Furthermore ...
This reinforces the notion that men don't/can't care for children and that women, being the only fit caregivers, are soley in charge of their care.
If the Herald doesn't validate strict gender role enforcement, some of their geezer editors might actually be *gasp* expected to change a diaper or take the grandkids on sometime! The horror!
Maybe he's innocent of molestation
But of being a traitor to his gender, he's guilty guilty guilty. (/snark)
I'd say it's untrue that all men are persecuted as child molesters per se. But I'd say that, based on my experience hanging around with my boy, there's a mixture of 'how cute, a daddy with his toddler' and 'is that guy a creep?' reactions. (yes, yes, you can call me Creep Daddy). Plenty of women seem genuinely not to like seeing a man take care of his son. Segregation rears its ugly head when you realize everybody would be uncomfortable if you called another boy's mother to set up a play date, so you have your wife do it. And then there's the odd woman who suggests you're a child molester when you tell her to pick up her dog poop. (Yes, she was very odd.)
I don't think it would be fair or accurate to say that the social reactions working to keep gender roles rigid come only from men. After all, the passenger who called the police on this male caregiver was a woman.
Very True
Many women, sold on the notion that their worth comes from wifehood and motherhood, fear men in caregiving roles and feel compelled to "enforce the rules".
My own mother, an avowed feminist, reacted in many of the same ways when my Dad spent a year in DC on a fellowship because her whole economic "worth" in the household - housekeeping - was challenged by Dad doing his own cooking, dishes, and laundry.
Women who enforce the gender roles, in my experience, are extremely negative and possibly even more hateful toward other women who don't play the traditional roles game than they are suspicious of men. I have actually been told that I "don't know my place" because I am a professional career woman and, therefore, should have no concern in my children's educational environment and no expectation of participation in the school community. When I consider the very low education levels of many of these women, and stories that float around about their high school days spent marking territory on playgrounds with markers and threatening others who came there, their fearful aggression doesn't much suprise me. They don't have a lot of options in life and they know it.
I also see a whole lot of fear and anger and hate from this same crowd when it comes to universal marriage rights, for some of the same reasons: same gender couples, lacking he does/she does dynamics in their families, are potential role models for egalitarian relationships.
Gender Bias
If you don't believer there is a bias, ask a group of mothers if they would let a teenage boy babysit. Most would be aghast at the possibility without even considering the boy's qualifications.
Much like the suggestion of a male kindergarten teacher.
They do exist
My older son's kindergarten teacher was about as "not a kindergarten teacher" in superficial appearance as they come: 2 meters tall, African-Bermudan, very athletic, male.
He was great. It is always funny to see him lead his class in, particularly at the first of the year. They all come up to about his knee.
When you consider that half the population in school is male, having some male teachers around is a very good idea. My boys have done very well by having guys teach them - not that the women did poorly, but the boys enjoy the balance they bring (and many of the girls do too - I have seen some become more assertive about not being pushed into gender boxes when they have had the male teachers).
Unfortunately, there is a stigma associated with men teaching the lower grades which makes things more difficult. Some of the teachers in my son's school have been pushed out of other schools by the same sort of cliquish fearfulness coupled with aggressive hounding that I referenced above. Makes for an unpleasant work environment.
When our neighbors moved in with their small ones, the female elders (grandmas) took one look at our preteen boys and exclaimed "potential babysitters!".
There is hope.
When I consider the very low
Where in the world do you live?
It really could be working-class anywhere, MA
But this happens to be Mefuh.
By "low education levels" I mean "can't write or punctuate or spell at what is now a fifth grade level" even though most completed high school.
At the time they went through school, all the school committee members had their kids in private schools and actually verbalized the attitude that "if you want your kids to be educated, why don't you put them in a private school?". This means a whole generation of people were screwed, and have very limited options outside of what they were expected to do: get married and have kids and stay where they grew up.
oh for christ's sake...
hasn't the guy been through enough without a creepy surveillance camera photo going in the paper? this is a nonstarter, why is it even posted? (on the herald's site, i mean)
surveillance society
Exactly, why should those photos be in the public domain.
They exist for safety purposes. Now they're being used to invade his privacy amd th e privacy of the minor who said "I'm hungry."
Possibly ...
T police get reports (single report?) of perv with kid. They post the photo to try to find him. They find he's just an innocent guy with a hungry kid. And now the toothpaste is out of the tube.
I suppose in my case it's a good thing we stayed at the park, because if we had promptly left in our car, there probably would've been an APB ...
Don't You Know?
All men are child molesters. At least, that's apparently the consensus our society's come to, thanks to years of fear-based "news" stories.
What the WBZ article didn't
What the WBZ article didn't mention was that the passenger also heard the child say something to the effect of, 'when can I see my mommy again?' It wasn't simply, 'I'm hungry.' With that being said, I do think it's a shame that fathers feel uncomfortable with their children in public. Good Dads deserve more respect and credit. Unfortunately there are molesters living in family neighborhoods which cause parents to be hypervigiliant. My niece and nephews are not allowed to cross the street adjacent to theirs because a level 3 sex offender lives nearby.
Even that doesn't exactly impress me
I guess it's a good thing there's never been a busybody around when out daughter's fallen or bumped into something and she's in tears and crying "I want mommy!" (she's done the same thing in reverse when she's been with my wife, but of course, Busybodies know women aren't molesters).
It doesn't impress me
It doesn't impress me either, though I did think it was worth pointing out.
Obviously molesters are women as well, but the majority are men.
.
And the majority of molesters were molested.
Most of the molesters living
Most of the molesters living in "family neighborhoods" are family - or close to the family - of the molested child. Not Mr Stranger Danger. How often does this have to be said? It is a fact that no one who looks at the evidence denies. You'll get hit by lightning on the same day you win the Megabucks lottery before a stranger will molest your kid. Your ex-wife's boyfriend? That's another matter.
to: Mark (not verified)
You must be smoking crack if you would let small children near a level 3 sex offender.
Parenting While Male
Jennifer Lord expresses her disgust: