Boston University sent e-mail to students today that starts with a limerick about "St. Patty's Day" (note to BU: Check with BC about how to spell that) before getting down to some nuts-and-bolts advice about how to survive Friday intact, including: "Avoid the dreaded BORG. They are dangerous (and sound disgusting, fwiw)."
No, not Jean-Luc Picard's old nemesis but gallon jugs o' doom, filled with vodka and electrolytes, that sent nearly 30 UMass Amherst students to the hospital during that school's traditional Blarney Blowout festivities earlier this month.
The containers, also known as "blackout rage gallons" are, of course, the sort of thing today's impressionable youth learn about on TikTok, at least according to authorities, who are probably relieved nobody's yet thought to combine them with Tide Pods or something.
Oh, but wait, you want to know about the limerick?
There once was a St. Patty’s Day so fine,
Everyone went out for a wicked good time,
They all used their head,
Made it safely to bed,
And woke up the next day, feeling fine!
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Comments
You will be assimilated.
By notadoctor
Wed, 03/15/2023 - 5:44pm
MIT sent out the same BORG warning today.. I guess we ARE Borg..
That limerick tho
By cynical
Wed, 03/15/2023 - 8:37pm
The first line has too many syllables so nobody read past that, right? "There once was a man from Nantucket" is 9 syllables and I refuse to accept any other number. Gonna go get my BORGs ready, I guess ....
Trimeter
By Charles Bahne
Wed, 03/15/2023 - 11:14pm
9-9-6-6-9
(The dictionary tells me that the emphasis is on the first syllable, TRIM-uh-ter.)
Trimeter/dimeter
By SamWack
Tue, 03/21/2023 - 12:18pm
The first two lines and the last are trimeter, but lines 3 and 4 are dimeter. This is essential to the character of a limerick.
The number of syllables can be all over the place. Clever variations in the number of syllables, while strictly observing the constraints on the number of metrical feet, can add to the comical effect.
There Once Were Some Kids Inartic’late
By Rebecca Rose Hi...
Thu, 03/16/2023 - 3:33am
Indeed. The whole ditty is inarticulate rhyme scheme-free garbage. Not exactly a testament to the [dubious] caliber of Boston University’s student body, innit?
Worst limerick ever. (said in
By Don't Panic
Thu, 03/16/2023 - 4:18am
Worst limerick ever. (said in the comic book guy voice)
had to consult the google
By still in my twe...
Thu, 03/16/2023 - 3:08am
is that really what the kids are doing these days?
One obvious point missed: that "disgusting"
By MC Slim JB
Thu, 03/16/2023 - 3:56am
is hardly disqualifying for boozy drinks favored by the yout's. The current rage among 20-something (and presumably younger) drinkers is for espresso martinis, which the olds will quickly recognize as a headache in a glass, tomorrow's certain regret. But I knew better than to tut-tut at my 22-year-old nephew and his friends pouring those down at a Boston bar recently.
I cannot throw stones. I remember a concoction I made weekly for a crew of appreciative friends in my college days: bottom-shelf vodka (Zhenka "Premium" in the plastic handle!), frozen concentrated limeade and lime sherbet, whirred with ice in a blender and served in 16-ounce plastic cups.
One eventually figures out that sugar and cheap booze aren't really your friends, but in the meantime it seems like a fantastic, delicious idea. It helps to have a young person's physical resilience to self-poisoning, but nobody should get deep into their 20s without recognizing the utter folly there.
Back in college days
By jmeltzer
Thu, 03/16/2023 - 7:44am
some friends of mine mixed Tia Maria ... and Sprite.
They never lived it down. If anything at all ever seemed odious, all one had to say was "Tia Maria and Sprite??"
Sprite and Tequila for the Win!
By HenryAlan 2.0
Thu, 03/16/2023 - 11:00am
In high school, a friend and I favored spiking Sprite with tequila -- that limon made it almost like a fizzy margarita! Perfect for the movie theater where we lived, as it was so easy to sneak in a few small bottles to add to the massive soft drinks they sold.
Hardcore mode
By Kaz
Thu, 03/16/2023 - 11:15am
Hawaiian Punch and Everclear with some fruit dissolving in it.
I mean, I never did...but I saw it being made in my day.
We called it "Jungle Juice"
By GoSoxGo
Fri, 03/17/2023 - 12:12pm
in the late 80s...
Fun fact
By fungwah
Thu, 03/16/2023 - 11:56am
Mountain Dew is so named because it was originally developed as a mixer for moonshine. Which means if you're drinking Everclear + Mountain Dew, you're not being trashy - you're paying tribute to an American folk classic.
Gatorita
By SwirlyGrrl
Fri, 03/17/2023 - 10:32am
I used to dump tequila into Gatorade.
I'll still do it on occasion - usually when the heat index tops 100.
Then there was the Green Goddamnit that my brother's dorm favored - lime sherbet, gatorade, everclear, orange juice.
Every generation has its own dumbass danger drink, and it never fails to scandalize those elders who somehow survived their own dumbass danger drink escapades.
Sounds like the "puke punch" my wife used to make
By HenryAlan 2.0
Thu, 03/16/2023 - 10:58am
We had lots of fun with that drink in college, despite knowing enough about what it would do to give it a delightfully descriptive and alliterative name.
That vodka/lime concoction
By xyz
Thu, 03/16/2023 - 11:00am
That vodka/lime concoction actually sounds pretty good to me as a hot-weather cocktail. Luckily, being an adult, if I choose to do this (a) I don't feel the need to get wrecked drunk very often and will only use a tiny slug of vodka; (b) I have adult money and can afford to buy decent vodka, at very least a brand that comes in a glass bottle.
Advice for your nephew
By Irma la Douce
Thu, 03/16/2023 - 11:11am
Courtesy of Wednesday night's Jeopardy! and the people of Australia:
"Aussies swear by Berocca for hangovers, maybe after too many of their beloved espresso these cocktails"
The concoctions favored by my
By xyz
Thu, 03/16/2023 - 2:17pm
The concoctions favored by my group in high school were called "Rocket Fuel" and "Tommy Gun". I have decided not to repeat the recipes here, for the sake of public health. Trust me, you're not missing anything.
This is what happens when you
By ZachAndTired
Thu, 03/16/2023 - 8:26am
This is what happens when you outlaw Four Loko and Sparks
I think they are disgusting
By Anon
Thu, 03/16/2023 - 9:03am
I think they are disgusting now but when I was 20ish I totally would walk around with a borg if it were an option. We would empty a half jug of juice and fill the other half with booze and pass it around. Not even good juice, gallon jugs of cheap sugar water.
Old people telling young people something is disgusting never works.
Harm Reduction Experts
By NoMoreBanks
Thu, 03/16/2023 - 11:00am
are actually coming out in favor of BORGs. It allows people to mix drinks to their own tolerance. So yeah you're pounding something that's disgusting but you know exactly how much alcohol is in there as opposed to the jungle juice being served by whatever rando is throwing the party. Also less likely to get a roofie slipped in there.
Obviously binge drinking isn't good but from the perspective of "college kids are gonna do it" the BORG trend is a step up in terms making it slightly, just a little, safer.
Oh boy
By lbb
Thu, 03/16/2023 - 1:39pm
I'll probably get a lot of hate for this, but in among all the nostalgia about how blitzed we (you) got when you were that age, I'm surprised and dismayed not to see more real concern. This is a problem. If you've never seen the Blarney Blowout or similar examples of massive self-harm, you may perhaps being excused for thinking it's all good fun, but this is some really bad shit.
Yeah, it's just a social cover for alcoholism and self-harm.
By Tim Mc.
Thu, 03/16/2023 - 4:12pm
Anyone getting blackout drunk on purpose has serious problems. (The main problem being the prevailing culture...)
That would be addressing the real problem
By SwirlyGrrl
Fri, 03/17/2023 - 10:46am
Home-made toxic bullshit, pre-gaming, and binge drinking are all features of having a legal drinking age rivaled only by the more liberal majority Islamic countries.
But that would also mean tackling the compulsory "driving" side of the equation that led to that high drinking age. Can't possibly do that! Can't have transit into the wee hours of weekends! Can't look at transit as a factor for opening a bar!
If these young adults could drink legally in bars, that would be more supervised and social - and it would also regrow local music scenes.
Or let them buy a six-pack
By xyz
Sat, 03/18/2023 - 1:22pm
Or let them buy a six-pack and sit in a park and drink it: open-container laws are largely another American idiosyncrasy. In Germany, for instance, taking a beer with you as you go for a stroll on a pleasant night is considered perfectly normal behavior.
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