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Cambridge: A city cowering in fear
By adamg on Fri, 03/31/2023 - 10:07am
Brit tabloid the Daily Mail breathlessly reports about rogue turkeys in Cambridge, yes, Cambridge, not Brookline:
Aggressive wild TURKEYS are terrorizing upmarket Boston suburb by taking over roads and attacking frightened children ...
Neighborhood parents and residents have learned how to navigate the streets with caution as they build their commutes around the feathered fiends
Neighborhoods:
Ad:
Comments
Can we please kill the use of
Can we please kill the use of "upscale" for expensive restaurants and zip codes?
Daily Mail just copied a report from Channel 25
Most of the text and all the images are all from the Channel 25 report. They did include the video, but didn't even credit Channel 25, referring to it as a "local news outlet"
Here is the original report
https://www.boston25news.com/news/local/cambridge-residents-concerned-af...
In other news, in my neighborhood in Dorchester, we have larger turkey gangs and they're more aggressive. And they leave their feces everywhere.
They're everywhere...
I wish I could attach a photo here, but trust me when I tell you that I had 27 turkeys on my lawn in Newton a couple of weeks ago. They're menacing and fearless and I was afraid to try to walk by them to get to my car.
Get a wrist rocket
Take 'em out from a second storey window. Problem solved.
Suburb?
Love that, I mean Cambridge is not Boston but 117,000 people is hardly a suburb.
Depends -- in Metro Dallas it would be
Plano Texas just a bit north of the City of Dallas Texas
Certainly, it is not Dallas [Wikipedia]:
but Plano is considered a suburb of Dallas with its 2020 Census Population: 285,494
Irving is smaller than Plano with
City 256,684 [Wikipedia]
Garland is probably smaller than Plano
Estimate (2019) 239,928 [Wikipedia]
Richardson Texas while quite a bit smaller than Plano is [according to Wikipedia]
All of those are considered suburbs of "Big D" and all are considerably bigger than Cambridge in population and much bigger in area
Russian bots!
You just know they place these kinds of stories just to embolden TLF, driving the wedge further and fomenting inter-species warfare. If TLF didn't get any coverage they would fade away and we could focus on the real scourge, squirrels! They always stealing food from the bird feeder and trying to get into your attic.
They've gone underground
Haven't heard from the TLF in some time. I think they have formed a partnership with the CHUDs and are just waiting for their moment to burst back onto the scene.
Teamed up with the CLO
The Turkey Liberation Front is just waiting for the Coyote Liberation Organization to have commandeered more naval assets so they can complete a two prong attack takeover of Cambridge.
Cannibalistic Humanoid Underground Dwellers are more than happy in their sewers. No one is trying to get rid of them. Heck, most people don't even believe in them.
Birds Aren't Real
They are all spy robots.
Upmarket Boston suburb?
That's the first time I've ever seen Cambridge described as an upmarket Boston suburb. It's definitely an urb not a suburb, and while some parts are "upmarket" many are not.
The real question is whether these turkeys are town or gown.
First sentence is even worse than the headline
"In the upscale Boston neighborhood of Cambridge"
That seems more accurate than suburb
Municipal boundaries are pretty arbitrary, and if the inaccurate distinction is suburb vs neighborhood of Boston, the latter, in my opinion, is less far off the mark. By British standards, Cambridge would certainly be considered a neighborhood of Boston.
By British standards
New Jersey is a neighborhood of New York. Those ex-colonials are all a bit silly, with their arbitrary boundaries.
Only half of NJ
Half of NJ is a neighborhood of Philly.
Then British standards are
Then British standards are factually incorrect.
It's absolutely true because I read it in the Daily Mail
INCREDIBLE
INCREDIBLE
It's the Daily Fail; if they
It's the Daily Fail; if they told me the sun rose in the east this morning I'd probably check for myself.
Coincidentally (or not?) the
Coincidentally (or not?) the Cambridge city website just added a page about turkeys.
https://www.cambridgema.gov/news/2023/03/wildturkeys
"Tabloid" would be one way to
"Tabloid" would be one way to put it. "British print equivalent of Fox News" would be another, more accurate way.
Try NY Daily News
A more abt comparison is to London's Daily Mail is the NYC's Daily News
both are tabloids ready by "straphangers" on the transit systems -- hence their format something which you can hold in one hand and fold as needed to read the headlines and see the pictures
In Boston there used to be a tabloid designed for the T [or its predecessors] known as the Record American --in the day of several Boston papers located downtown
The Boston Herald Traveler merged with the Record American
giving birth, after a time, to today's Boston Herald (also a tabloid).
Newspaper Consolidation
At one time [circa late 19th C until perhaps 75 years ago] there were many papers -- each with its own editorial viewpoint agreeing with the buyers/readers' lifestyle, major advertisers [mostly the big 7 or so Department Stores] and mostly located on/near Newspaper Row at the edge of the Financial District. The papers active [at one time] over the past 100+ years include [the with the common "Boston" omitted]:
from the Wikipedia article on Newspaper Row
Note -- with the advent of Radio 30's and then Television 50's most lost their lock on advertisers and then folded -- some merged -- i.e. [Herald with the Traveler and the Record with the American]. A second burst of failures and consolidations happened as the new technology dominated economy grew rapidly first Rt-128 and then later out Rt-2 [the Computer Commuter], I-495 and then I-93 toward and into NH [Raytheon]:
All that was left in the Boston newspaper world [circa 1990] was:
By the "Cable" / www era [circa 2000 - 2010] --- Even the survivor newspapers had abandoned the downtown for "terra incognito" [i.e. Morrisey Blvd, Seaport District] -- not just for their printing plants [Globe moved printing to Taunton from Morrisey Blvd. and the Herald was being printed by the Globe] but for their editorial offices [Herald in the Seaport District]. Meanwhile Local TV Stations -- mostly located in the suburbs -- became the newspapers' replacement controlling all of the advertising market. Strange weekly advertising circulars took over most of the revenue of the print distribution.
Now, circa 2020 -- the TV dominated news economy is once again in rapid change mode with much of the advertising now delivered by social media. Also rapidly changing are the demographics of news/advertiser consumers and the real-estate associated with the media [the Globe editorial offices are back to downtown -- on State St. -- almost where Newspaper Row began -0- but the Globe's printing plant is gone completely from Massachusetts to Rhode Island and Morrisey Blvd., is being redeveloped into Biotech] while the Herald's long-time post-"Newspaper Row" home on Herald St is becoming mostly luxury condos.
Come back in 2030 -- as today no one can confidently predict what the final outcome will look like.
Oh right. I haven't thought
Oh right. I haven't thought of the Daily News in years and I can't say I feel my life is the poorer for that.