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BPS to try to figure out how to make middle-school girls feel safer on the T

Moving more seventh graders from school buses to the T has general worked very well, but Assistant Superintendent Kim Rice told the School Committee that she's heard from a number of girls that they're not feeling all that safe on the T, in particular because of issues such as catcalling.

Rice said she and other officials plan to spend time figuring out what to do about that.

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In their neighborhood and avoiding the T altogether.

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n/t

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So your solution to dealing with this issue is by keeping these girls locked away at home? How would you address men who leer and jeer at girls in their own neighborhoods? Or boys who think it's okay to touch a girl without her consent and laugh at her when she gets upset?

In what world is that an actual real life answer to what is, frankly, a societal problem?

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Am I right? It's only when you venture into the T that things get crazy.

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I almost never hear cat-calls of any kind, directed at any age of person.

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Lucky you. I've been dealing with cat-calls since I was in middle school and I'm now in my mid-20s.

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.

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Are you male? If so, your experience on this matter doesn't count for much.

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I do hope you're being sarcastic. But allow me to use this space to clarify that cat-calling is not just whistling or making faces at girls or women, it's also asking them to smile, telling them how pretty they look, asking where they're headed, etc. It's uncomfortable for females of all ages, but I can't imagine how these younger girls feel. It's hard to put up with everyday, and I know—I'm in my early 20s and I went to school and now work downtown. It's not easy.

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Harassment isn't cool, and it's clear which side is the correct side in this whole discussion.

But we all exist because some guy told a girl she was pretty, right? There's a right way to do it, no? I stick with "you have a cute haircut" or "you have a pretty dress" because those things are voluntary.

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Sure if you think a guy that is 28 oggling and fondling a 12 to 16 yr old is ok? We are not talking peer to peer harassment so much as adult strangers on a train. It is predatory behavior.

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," said a man.

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You might try not being one.

Unless the comment was solicited, there is a high likelihood that it is unwelcome. Let me help you here; coming from a stranger "How do you like my skirt" or "How do you like my haircut" would be invitations for your opinion. "Where is the nearest bus stop" isn't.

And let's head this one off at the pass. "But she's dressed like that! She must want compliments!" Sure, and maybe she wants you to comment on other parts of her anatomy, maybe she wants you to put your arm around her, maybe she wants to have sex with you. After all, she's asking for it, right?

Probably best not to step on that slippery slope in the first place. Happen to make eye-contact with her (or any other human, for that matter) on the street? A slight tip of the head and maybe a neutral hello should suffice.

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But we all exist because some guy told a girl she was pretty, right? There's a right way to do it, no?

There's also an appropriate time and place. A stranger on the T, not so much. A "girl", not so much -- "girl" means non-adult female human being, and these are definitely not adults and should not be subjected to any kind of approach, no matter how civil, no matter how phrased as a "compliment" (which is all too often followed by "what's wrong with you? ARE YOU A DYKE?" if it's not welcomed).

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Or my absolute favorite; do you have a boyfriend.

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Catcalling started at 11yo for my sister and me.

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You get them more often when you're young, not just because you're cuter, but because you aren't as comfortable yet telling people to f--- off.

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Do I think it is mostly fellow teens perpetrating these catcalls?

(Not all, most.)

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You like being wrong?

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of catcalling in the real world. Since you're starting from zero knowledge, at the bare minimum, you could go watch the daily show segment on catcalling (by Jessica Williams) for a very basic introduction.

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Not the least bit adorable , Elmer. Perfectly poor taste

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     ( it was a picture of a cat using a telephone )

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Going back to early 90's and taking the train as a young woman, it was always bad. Referring to it as a catcall is being gentle, its more like aggressive sexual harassment. I used to have grown men making comments about my body and trying to pick me up when it was pretty clear I was underage (talking 14, 15 years old). When you rebuff or ignore them, there are guys that get mad and insult and threaten. Keeping them in school in their neighborhoods isn't the solution because growing up in the city, at some point, a young woman will probably take the train regardless of what the reason may be. If she is taking the train to school, after school job, or grandmothers house, does not matter. Sorry that these extra young girls had to experience it, but hopefully now the issue as a whole can be dealt with. It can get downright scary.

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Q. "Why do men feel threatened by women?"
A. "They're afraid women will laugh at them."

Q. "Why do women feel threatened by men?"
A. "They're afraid of being killed."

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and never felt threatened by women. As a boy, I did not feel threatened by girls. And it's bizarre a majority of women and girls feel threatened by men or boys because they think they might murder them.

Maybe we should have separate trains for males and females like they have in Japan (if they still have them)? I use the MBTA regularly, sometimes including times when there are lots of middle and HS students. My observations are girls generally travel in packs, and are A LOT more loud and rowdy compared to boys...and if it's a group of boys and girls, watch out...lots of drama...time to get out the headphones or earbuds.

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They might be able to explain things to you.

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Sex offenders roaming the subway preying on young girls and boys is a recipe for disaster

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Harassment is a problem, yes, but the vast majority of sexual predators aren't random people on the subway - they are family members or friends of the family.

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WRONG. When it comes to this topic, STOP minimizing others' experiences as young girls.

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and

This doesn't change the fact that stranger assault is terrifying and unacceptable. I have no intention of minimizing anyone's experience.

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This isn't about "sexual predators", Swirly, it's about harassment that's somewhere on the sexual-violence slippery slope. Let's not derail what seems to be a useful discussion.

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Stranger assault is rare overall, but when it happens, it's more likely to happen in a confined space, like the T.

This is not only a problem for young girls, but for women of any age and I think, in general, the T takes such complaints seriously and fellow passengers also take it seriously, that is why so many T gropers get their picture taken and turned in to the police or MBTA.

When it comes to younger girls, it's important that they be aware of the problem and recourse if it should happen to them, so they know they have other choices than just ignoring it, which RARELY works.

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Pretty damn sad that young girls are harassed while trying to get to and from school. One would hope adults on the bus would intervene on their behalf.

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As a guy, my interpretation of what kind of "catcalling" is happening is that much of it isn't very loud and very public... so other adults nearby likely don't know that it's happening.

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If these girls need some sort of Imperator Furiosa to ensure that they get safely from point A to point B without a bunch of disgusting, leering men ruining their day, I'm sure we could find some volunteers. Prosthetic arm optional.

And, I mean, if we replaced all MBTA vehicles with Furiosa's war rig, that would be awesome, too.

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If they promise to hire an elite cadre of vigilante women to patrol the MBTA, dispensing swift and brutal justice to misogynist shitheels, Boston has my permission to double the residential tax rate starting tomorrow.

Also, this is only vaguely related, but I wanted to share with you my favorite Amazon product review ever.

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"I MAY CONSUME THIS CAKE AND DEPOSIT IT INTO THE SANDS OF THIS WASTELAND, YET WITNESS IT I DID AND GLORIOUS IT WAS. THUS, SHALL IT GO ON TO BE EATEN BY HEROES IN VALHALLA, SHINY AND CHROME!"

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As opposed to driving around town, waiting for that all-important call? You know, like all the posters in the subway warn you about not committing crime since they're "there"--both uniformed and not?

This past Saturday, after getting off an Orange Line, a woman, clearly high, fell into the tracks after the train left and was pulled out just as quickly by her boyfriend and another passenger. No cell phone videos, no big media story, just your run-of-the-mill kind of incident that didn't even hold up service since the next train was about eight minutes away.

Since the platform level customer service booth was at the usual level of staffing (i.e. not) , several of us reported the incident to the Customer Service Agent upstairs, who, in turn, reported it to the one, one, on-duty police officer for the third-busiest train station in the City. Officer Couldn't-Care-Less sauntered off in the direction the woman and her boyfriend were heading and wound up overseeing another man who was laying against a pillar outside, bleeding profusely from his head. I'm sure the "what's the problem heah?" was code for, "Let me get an ambulance right away!"

Don't get me wrong--I realize Transit Police have a rather thankless job to do--I just think a more visible presence and proactive approach (not to mention empathy for hardworking people who rely on the MBTA every day) would help deter crime in the subways, buses, etc. Since there seems to be a correlation between fare gate crashers and people with warrants, I should think that crime would be drastically reduced around town by just standing by a set of fare gates for an hour, catching folks in the act. I do realize that's asking a lot since it's the same principle by which officers claim it's "so hard" to catch people texting-while-driving even though I count over a dozen people every time I bike to/from work.

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You mean the Transit Police should actually ride the buses and trains instead of playing with their Homeland Security-funded toys?

IMAGE(http://s21.postimg.org/yhhz6k0av/265434_10150296872174744_5541607_o.jpg)

That's nonsense talk.

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This may sound rather off the wall, but stay with me:

Suppose by means of a special act of the legislature a dedicated transit police force for the MBTA were created. These special officers would be given jurisdiction over the subway and bus lines and help supplement any existing municipal police departments in the areas served by the T.

But here's where it gets real innovative...

A certain number of officers would be detailed, given the size of the area to be patrolled and available manpower, to expressly patrol the bus routes. Ideally, the tour of duty for the officer would overlap with the run of a bus operator; that way several trips and routes could be covered by one person. Rotate the officers among as many bus operator runs as possible to maximize the number of trips and routes patrolled.

If there are teenage boys being assholes, then the cop can tell them to chill out with that bullshit. If there are men who never learned what the words "uncouth" and "pedophile" mean, they can get a ride to the police station to pick up their free dictionary.

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What you're saying is that you'd like to start arresting people for speaking words in public. I'm hardly in favor of such behavior, but this is no answer at all.

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Oh give me a fucking break. Citing men and boys for sexually harassing girls is not "arresting people for speaking words in public." Next time someone 3 times your size tells you to suck their dick in front of a bus full of onlookers tell me just how safe you feel.

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I'm not saying I like it, I'm saying that criminalizing it is a terrible idea and one incompatible with the modern interpretation of the 1st Amendment.

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The 1st Amendment has never been a guarantor of unrestricted free speech. Never.

I do hope you're not one of those instant Free Speech Warriors who springs to life as soon as anyone suggests curbing speech that is harassing, violent, threatening, racist, or antisocial in some other way (OR calling the free-speakers to account for the consequences of their speech), but who is conspicuously silent when the speech of those who aren't big bad bullies is stifled.

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giving tickets for such behavior and saying - "well, he's only a juvenile, so we'll give him a break" have worked so well - not!

And the 1st Amendement is not absolute. Deliberately harassing a person is no different than yelling fire in a crowded theater.

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FIRE is a word. Try yelling it in the subway. Then try telling a judge how it's just speaking words.

Sexual harassment is an implied threat. Get that through your head, please.

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Abortion clinic protesters would also be subject to arrest for "implied threats". Note that they are not.

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Abortion clinic protesters would also be subject to arrest for "implied threats". Note that they are not.

That all depends on what they say.

You're very much out of touch on this issue, aren't you? Are you aware that you're in a city where an "abortion clinic protester" murdered two people?

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I'm pretty grounded in this issue, thanks. I'm also in favor of arresting people for murder, so I'm not really sure what your point is.

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We should all expect criminal behavior, whether murder or harassment, to be met with response from law enforcement.

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I'm pretty grounded in this issue, thanks. I'm also in favor of arresting people for murder, so I'm not really sure what your point is.

Moving the goalposts from speech to murder, are we? Sorry, it's your bad analogy, you'll have to defend it yourself. Don't ask me to do your homework.

Threatening speech isn't protected. Do you dispute this? No? Then we're all set.

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Having gone to Public School (Latin Academy when it was in Fenway) on the train at 12 yrs old i can tell you i and all my girlfriends at various times were cat called, leered at, harassed, groped - yes breasts and butt by men of all ages even some old geezer perverts. It was terrifying at 12,13,14 but by jr and dr year most of us learned how to either fend it off, defend ourselves or develop a "train stance " where you used your school bag , the door as a shield against the unwanted attention. Not exaggerating at all here and any men who doubt it ask the women you know what their experience has been. That is such a tender age for girls. Back then it was so uncomfortable and scary and you didn't know what to do. If i ever see that happening to girls now the perp will be lucky if he can spell the word balls nevermind recognize his own set after i get through pulverizing him.
Young girls need to be taught evasive moves and know that not only it is ok to tell someone loudly to "back off!" "stop touching me" "I'm calling the police" very loudly but that it is expected of them to do so. My parents had no clue. So yes the schools should address this problem immediately. I graduated in '87. Riding the t was fun despite these incidents. To all the dirty bastards doing this kind of stuff to girls (and boys i am sure) watch out!!

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of some assertiveness training! When I think sometimes of what young women have to put up with...That said, of the countless gross, obnoxious, threatening, or truly scary incidents like this I remember, few of them happened in the T. In school, after school, on the bus, on the sidewalk. I mean...the T is no less safe than anywhere else, is it? Unless anyone is suggesting that girls be shuttled everywhere? Again--I like the idea of empowering young women to look out for themselves and at the same time doing what we can to encourage young men not to act like creeps.

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The ACLU has something specifically to deal with misbehaving police; something similar that one-click films and then one-click mails the film to the cops.

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Girls should be encouraged, if anyone makes them feel uncomfortable or threatened, to unleash hell. We've been taught for too long that we should just take it - because it's a "compliment" or what the fuck ever - and it's just not true. A creep hitting on a pre-adolescent girl does not deserve a polite "no thanks" or the silent treatment.

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This strikes me as a millenia-old problem, or has something changed to make the situation worse?

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It is no longer considered acceptable behavior...the whole "boys will be boys" defense no longer flies.
In my experience (BLA '87 above) on the T it was adult - as in over 20 more like 30-60 year old- men.

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The Transit Police once had a very effective, elite undercover unit whose eleven members made half of the arrests on a force of 200+. Posing as vagrants, business people and everyday T riders, they did a terrific job arresting the disorderly, the gropers, the fare evaders, and general impact players. This is the best link I could find.

Of course "profiling" (the school system is 88% non-white) and "civil rights" violations were soon alleged and the unit was forced to disband. That was 2001 when cops were still somewhat respected. In today's anti-police environment, I wouldn't expect a police solution any time soon. That train has left the station, pun intended.

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This is a very specific problem that in my experience would be best dealt with through a school wide defense class where boys and girls are taught that a. There are people who prey on their naïveté
B. they look normal (ie perverts come in all shapes and sizes may look like your grampa or the wall st. Suit)
C. Action tactics - show and practice behavior to stop the event from continuing - get of the train, yell for the person to stop etc.
And evasive moves such as blocking your body with your bag / coat etc.

I am a girl so i cant speak for boys experience on the T - boys are probably harassed as well.

Police may act as a deterrent but they cant possibly see and be everywhere to prevent it.

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C. Action tactics - show and practice behavior to stop the event from continuing - get of the train, yell for the person to stop etc.

This is where the schools talk with the BPD and teach the young women the RAD class. It's all about defense and escape and the maneuvers you describe above. I highly recommend it.

Is anyone here in the school system? I probably wouldn't be listened to as I don't have children, so someone with a stake in the game so to speak) would probably be better at passing the suggestion along.

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It sounds like if such a unit were actually above profiling and civil rights abuses, they would be an asset to the system. Body cameras could exonerate them from such claims and prove that they were doing the right thing. I wonder if they could be hidden on plain-clothes officers, and allow the undercover unit to return?

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As someone who spends way too much time commuting on the B Line and the 57 bus, I've seen tons of rude, threatening, loud, inconsiderate, and antisocial behavior perpetrated by school kids, directed at each other and other riders. This includes catcalling, loud music with no headphones, basketball playing (yes, really), racial and homophobic slurs, and more. I'm frequently reminded of the Bernie Goetz era.

It's pretty easy to figure out where and when this behavior is most likely to occur -- right before and right after school, on routes heavily traveled by upper-middle and high-school kids. Why can't police beef up their presence focusing on those times and places? Both uniformed and undercover?

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I used to be a regular on the 57 and the 66 and yeah...a lot of depressing behavior from high schoolers. The best moment ever was when some kids were being especially rowdy and using really foul language and the bus driver pulled over and gave them a piece of her mind, told them they'd better shape up or she'd kick them off. She was a big, middle-aged black woman with a lot of authority and confidence and she just shut it down--ending with "it's like y'all weren't RAISED RIGHT." It was an awesome and rare sight, especially since they actually stfu.

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How about teaching/raising boys to respect females and maybe just maybe have the school officials stop blaming females for being "distractions."

Here is a novel idea - maybe have the school officials actually punish the boys who can't keep their hands or their words to themselves.

Jesus I am so sick of this shit.

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Agreed, and a step in the right direction might be to refer to women and girls as such, not as "females", which strikes me as a somewhat dehumanizing term. You don't see boys and men so commonly referred to as "males".

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I am a female and wanted to use an all encompassing term. I do use "males" as well rather than boys/men.

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This is a (mostly) great discussion. What I'm looking for are rules and road maps for engaging perpetrators of cat calling and harassment. Civilian witnesses need to be trained to use their station to support victims on the spot in a way that honors the agency of the victim, safety and serves as an effective deterrent of the perpetrator on the spot and in the future.

So what works? Calling the cops? Putting yourself between the perpetrator and victim? Being loud? Verbally aggressive? Staring them down? Recording? All of the above?

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In my limited experience, at least with verbal harassment, it's very helpful when the first action is to express concern to the victim of the harassment. "Are you ok? Do you need help?" This lets the harasser know that other people are witnessing the behavior and are willing to intervene, without confronting them. It gives the harasser one last opportunity to STFU, and (again in my limited experience) often they take that opportunity. Finally, it makes it easier for others to act. Once the first person says something, others are more likely to speak up too.

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For most of my adult life I have frequently overheard men walking in front of me mention how pretty, how nice or offering some other seriously stupid come on to a woman walking by him.

My questions and observations:

What can I do? Tell the guy to shut up? I could and possibly wind up harmed.

Tell the woman that was unacceptable behavior on his part and get a, "Mind own you business."

Note the event, note that the man didn't touch her and accept it as the gross behavior of that one guy?

Couple of other observations:

I've seen and heard this particular situation only when it is young black male coming on to a young black woman. While men in general at construction sites are notorious for cat calls what makes it acceptable for some black men to come on to young black women in much closer proxmity? If it is white guys as well then I just have not see that.

My conclusion is that while men in general, particularly in the construction business, believe sexual harrasment is okay from a distance, that for some young black men it's okay to verbally press himself on any woman he wants to come on to when passing in close quarters on the street. I have not seen latin or white men engage in the same subtle harrassment but I take that to be just a matter of limited exposure to neigbhorhoods where latin and white men would verbally sexually harrass women in close proximity.

Perhaps what is needed is to apply the same sexual harrassment to men who see women (youngers and older) as their prey. Help them to experience the same fear and intimidation that they cause.

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1) Boys being sexually assaulted isn't uncommon.

2) Sexual harassment (as opposed to flirting), directed at a guy will generally elicit a different type of response, given that males are biologically more aggressive.

Respect is a two way street. Both males and females should respect one another unless given a reason not to. Now, if some woman started copping an attitude with me, of worse, start screaming or yelling, claiming she felt 'uncomfortable' with me (as another poster suggested should occur), whenI did nothing, and she is perhaps unstable, it would not end well.I know I certainly wouldn't just lie down and take it just because of her gender. Arbitrary, and false, accusations in our society and others are unfortunately commonplace.Here in MA 350 years ago we had people executed for being witches because of ridiculous accusations made by young women. The phrase witch hunt obviously derives from these witchcraft trials and executions.

My brother was told me a story a few years ago about how he was about to drive away from a parking lot when he observed what appeared to be a guy assaulting (hitting) a woman. He watched for a minute, then decided he should intervene. The woman being assaulted promptly started assaulting my brother,screaming at him to leave her boyfriend alone. So anyone who wonders why many do not I intervene in such a situation, this is one of the reasons why.

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You are discussing issues you have with women. The issue at hand is about young girls

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White men do not like to be noticed when they're being predatory. In my experience, they either:

1. Call out from their cars.
2. Take pictures, also from their cars (so creepy, jesus christ). The last pair who did this to me kept trying to "placate" me by telling me how beautiful I was, while laughing at me when I told them to delete the picture and that their actions made me very uncomfortable. This was in a public setting (off of Green St in JP) and no one said or did anything on my behalf.
3. Invade intimate space in a crowded setting & whisper. Then, they'll turn around and get super defensive and loud if you call them out.

I am a Black woman who has lived in multiple types of neighborhoods on different socioeconomic scales from the racially diverse to predominately one race in two countries. Pretty sure I've, unfortunately, been catcalled by men of every race at this point.

An eye for an eye (which is basically what you're calling for) is not going to work because in our society, men do not fear women, men are not sexually nor physically intimidated by women, and men think that being catcalled would be a positive experience. Like, how many stupid bros have you heard say something like, "I would love it if women sexually objectified me!" (real life experience, btw). They do not have to do the quick thinking of "Should I say something?" "Will someone back me up if I do?" "This is a crowded space, so I can be loud and he won't be threatening", or "Will he follow me if I say anything?" that women have to.

Personally, I believe that we first and foremost need to raise men who respect women and not just respect them long enough to get them into bed. They need actually see us as whole human beings like they do of their fellow man.

More importantly, men also need to get in on this and call out their boys, cousins, uncles, classmates, etc when they see them disrespecting another woman. When a guy is in a group and he either laughs or silently does nothing when he sees a woman being catcalled, he is actually positively enforcing the other man's behavior. What men don't realize is that when they say/do nothing, they've actually silently telegraphing to the woman that *they* are not be trusted, either.

Basically, men need to call other men out for being tools because lord knows they aren't trying to listen to anything a woman has to say.

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A neighbor I'd not seen in a while told me, "Oh Bev! You look like you lost some weight!"

Does this fit under "Fat Shaming," "Illness Shaming," or what?

(The friend I ran into Being a Female, so not quite "Go To Jail Directly.")

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Did she frame it as a good/desirable thing? That is to say: "You look great! Have you lost weight?"

As a bad thing? "Oh, Bev, are you okay? Have you lost some weight?"

Or just as a statement of (what she presumed to be) fact? "Hey, you lost weight."

If the first: hard to say. Obviously, women are conditioned to think they need to take up less space*, and it's all part of a patriarchal impulse to control female bodies. Female weight loss is therefore almost always presented as desirable, unless it gets to an unappealing extreme. Even women can express internalized misogyny - albeit often without realizing it.

If the second: probably comes from a place of concern, possibly concern-trolling. Hard to say.

If the third: perhaps your neighbor is just very literal.

*That is, they are now. I realize that there used to be a time when a fleshier female form was celebrated, but we haven't been celebrated for strength and power - at least not in the Western world - for a long time, if ever. It's always been about weakness and passivity, whether thin or fat.

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I'd respond as I normally do to an annoying asshole:
Fuck You, Go Away.

***

Girls in the city (and I was one of them at one point) used to know how to deal with this sort of stuff. Am sort of behind the times as to how the culture's changed, so Apologies in Advance for Having Possibly Offended.

This said: A young woman was recently found beaten to death in Nepal for her iPhone. Maybe one should start thinking more in terms of people being safe globally, rather than trying to find offence locally?

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Depends. How fat were you?

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Children should be worried, when my daughter went to the Dearborn Middle School, coming through Dudley Station to catch the #66 bus, a drunky man grabbed her by her arm and her brother and cousin was standing near her hand to protect her imagine if they were not there, after that she became afraid to travel alone, and on another occasion 3 boys approached my son and asked him where was he from he said Haiti, they thought he was from Forest Hill area. It is not safe for the elderly and children were in a time where we are dealing with a group of thugs male and female with a lack of respect for anyone young or old. this is not life this is what life has become. Cat calling is not okay, when you are a young girl and some nasty old grown pervert is trying to hit on you.

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