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Town warns residents not to spank the monkey

WBZ reports police in Tewksbury are looking for a monkey that might be roaming the town. A local animal hospital warned resident to stay well away from the animal - and to definitely not touch it - because of the risk the monkey might be infected with potentially deadly herpes B.

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Comments

Blindness? Or is that not a thing anymore?

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hallucinations and liver failure!

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Mother: "Don't do that! It will make you go blind!".

Son: "Can I do it just until I need glasses?".

:-)

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teed up right in front of you.

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The story says it might have Herpes B, which is apparently a monkey thing.

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I can't read! Fixed.

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And the monkey came from?

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You’re full of gems Adam, but this is great!

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about shocking monkeys that was forbidden.

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Now I'll have that f'ing Peter Gaberiel song in my head for the rest of the day.

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Not only is not not forbidden, it is compulsory. And inevitable.

Don't you monkey with the monkey.

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Doesn't always stay in Tewksbury. The fact that this warning had to be issued speaks volumes about the borough.

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2020 hits different huh

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I don't feel safe in this world no more
I don't want to die in a nuclear war
I want to sail away to a distant shore
And make like an Apeman

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eEep67akIn4

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Because with quarantine and social distancing, I would have racked up many violations by now.

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They're massively strong for their size. A small monkey, duly enraged, can mess you up. A chimp could literally tear your arm off.

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