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Town warns residents not to spank the monkey
By adamg on Wed, 05/20/2020 - 11:59pm
WBZ reports police in Tewksbury are looking for a monkey that might be roaming the town. A local animal hospital warned resident to stay well away from the animal - and to definitely not touch it - because of the risk the monkey might be infected with potentially deadly herpes B.
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Comments
Because it may cause...
Blindness? Or is that not a thing anymore?
hallucinations and liver
hallucinations and liver failure!
Joke
Mother: "Don't do that! It will make you go blind!".
Son: "Can I do it just until I need glasses?".
:-)
Adam, you had a PERFECT Peter Gabriel joke
teed up right in front of you.
Hepatitis?
The story says it might have Herpes B, which is apparently a monkey thing.
Yep
I can't read! Fixed.
And the monkey came from?
And the monkey came from?
Best headline in some time
You’re full of gems Adam, but this is great!
I thought it was something
about shocking monkeys that was forbidden.
Thanks Adam
Now I'll have that f'ing Peter Gaberiel song in my head for the rest of the day.
Shock the monkey
Not only is not not forbidden, it is compulsory. And inevitable.
Don't you monkey with the monkey.
What happens in Tewksbury.....
Doesn't always stay in Tewksbury. The fact that this warning had to be issued speaks volumes about the borough.
Damn
2020 hits different huh
Touch my Monkey!
I'm an Apeman, I'm an Ape Apeman
I don't feel safe in this world no more
I don't want to die in a nuclear war
I want to sail away to a distant shore
And make like an Apeman
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eEep67akIn4
Glad I don't live in Tewksbury..
Because with quarantine and social distancing, I would have racked up many violations by now.
Don't monkey with monkeys
They're massively strong for their size. A small monkey, duly enraged, can mess you up. A chimp could literally tear your arm off.