Boston Olympics: Powered by a magical crystal

Well they got the mandatory colonial horseman, but what about the lobsters! There are no lobsters in this promo, without lobsters and guys in funny hats no one will know its Boston.

Remember, when pronouncing it

By Adeas
Tue, 12/16/2014 - 4:03pm

Remember, when pronouncing it for the non-locals, it's best to say "lobstahs"

Here we go...

By MatthewC
Tue, 12/16/2014 - 2:15pm

Let the propaganda begin.

Those parasites should not be welcomed here.

By Irmo
Tue, 12/16/2014 - 2:15pm

The workers who built the facilities in Sochi were cheated of their wages and deported from Russia.

The IOC has shown no interest in addressing the injustice. They represent everything that is wrong with these supranational NGOs. Their presence in Boston would be a dishonor, not an honor.

And to get this dishonor we would have to spend millions on facilities for sports that we never play, and wind up with an overbuilt hotel sector in the city (and that is very much a bad thing - unused building space would bleed us for decades).

To hell with that.

Boston politicians love

By anon
Tue, 12/16/2014 - 3:50pm

Boston politicians love corruption and the Olympics (well the IOC itself) is a monument to corruption.

Ergo, Boston will have the grandest most expensive Olympics EVAH!

That's great!

By Kaz
Tue, 12/16/2014 - 2:37pm

Except the Charles River doesn't meet the standards necessary to be used for Olympic competition rowing. (I wonder if any of the venues they used actually do).

But other than that...WOW! what a waste of money.

Really?

By Irmo
Tue, 12/16/2014 - 4:09pm

Is that why the London games used ponds for the rowing events? You can't have current?

Long, straight, coach access...

By Kaz
Wed, 12/17/2014 - 9:35am

Lots of reasons. It's not straight enough long enough where it's wide enough to put in enough side-by-side lanes combined with coast access for the coaches to chase within shouting distance...and so on. It's great for the Head of the Charles, but it's not great for handling the Olympics.

The Boston Marathon course

By wtf021
Wed, 12/17/2014 - 7:02am

The Boston Marathon course also cannot be used because there are too many hills.

So

By Michael
Wed, 12/17/2014 - 8:48am

Our river's not good enough for them, our famed local race course isn't good enough for them...why are we going through this again?

Not quite right

By merlinmurph
Wed, 12/17/2014 - 9:23am

The Boston Marathon course also cannot be used because there are too many hills.

Well, not quite.

It can't be used because it is a point-to-point course with different starting and ending elevations. The course has a net elevation loss.

And downwind

By Kaz
Wed, 12/17/2014 - 9:31am

The point-to-point nature would be fine if the two points were closer together, but the fact that it is linearly west to east which is downwind of our prevailing winds means it would provide accelerated times. This is in addition to the net elevation loss problem.

Is that true for marathons?

By merlinmurph
Wed, 12/17/2014 - 11:31am

Wind speed is a factor when it comes to determining if a given time qualifies for a world record because of the reason you pointed out. This comes into play in sprints, like 100M, because there are almost no variables in that kind of race.

For a marathon, there really is no such thing as a world record. Sure, there's the fastest marathon time, but nobody really cares because of the variability of the courses, so there are course records

One neck pendant to rule them

By Anthony
Tue, 12/16/2014 - 2:49pm

One neck pendant to rule them all......

Hope their financing plan is more creative than that

By Stevil
Tue, 12/16/2014 - 3:30pm

Color me unimpressed.

If there's nothing else

By Irmo
Tue, 12/16/2014 - 4:29pm

If there's nothing else certain, be certain the financing for this would be very, very, creative.

That high diver ABANDONED THE

By Papa
Tue, 12/16/2014 - 3:44pm

That high diver ABANDONED THE GLOWING BLUE RING! No medal for you!

They should do us all a favor

By tcf098
Tue, 12/16/2014 - 5:05pm

They should do us all a favor and attach one of those crystals to every T in the city.

Oh please

By anon
Tue, 12/16/2014 - 7:06pm

oh please oh please, don't let this happen. Aside from all the obvious reasons why this sort of thing shouldn't happen in Boston, I just hate the Olympics. So much. It's so boring and pointless and goes on for too long. It takes over TV and it's all anyone talks about for weeks. I'm trying to think of a scenario where I would care who the fastest rower in the world is, but I can't. Incapable of caring. Honestly, the only thing I hate more than the Olympics is the Winter Olympics. Don't even get me started...

<3

By M
Wed, 12/17/2014 - 7:49am

You are my soulmate and I love you. I have recited that paragraph, pretty much verbatim, biannually as necessary. God, they're SO BORING.

for those of you worried about traffic

By anon
Tue, 12/16/2014 - 11:26pm

olympics is hosted during first week in august - which is the least busy time of year on the T, on roads, in hotels, etc... a good chunk of the city's population (students, college staff) is away. "traffic" is the absolute most ridiculous reason to oppose the olympics. There are much bigger issues.

Traffic is a ridiculous reason to oppose the Olympics?

By mplo
Wed, 12/17/2014 - 12:55am

I disagree, anon. Traffic is just as good a reason to oppose the Olympics coming here to Boston, as far as I'm concerned. Boston's got enough of a congestion problem without having the Olympics here.

Traffic is a very valid concern...

By octr202
Wed, 12/17/2014 - 8:42am

...be it on the roads & highways, on the T, or at Logan. While a lot of lucky people might be away on their extended summer hiatus, I'd venture that the vast majority of us will still have to go to work for those two weeks. Not all of us have the luxury of taking two weeks for a little corporate sponsorship extravaganza, err, um, sporting competition.

The commenters point was that

By anon
Wed, 12/17/2014 - 10:29am

The commenters point was that a lot of people are away during that time so that the capacity of our systems to deal with moving people around is higher at that time compared to the normal demand in August, as opposed to adding the olympics to the system in September when students and families are back to work/school in their peak numbers.

VROOM!

By abostonparent
Wed, 12/17/2014 - 12:29pm

I definitely laughed out loud when I read this. Well done Adam.

And how come there was no scene with the beacon ring used as a discus? WHOOSH!

Boston Olympics: Powered by a magical crystal

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