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An open letter to the person who hired a lawyer to complain about a Black Lives Matter lawn sign

Gaysian Dad lives and teaches in a Boston suburb with his husband and their two adopted children, one black, one Latino. He reports:

Two weeks ago, we put up a Black Lives Matter sign. Our eight-year-old black daughter was so excited. Our white neighbors across the street put one up too, and I think that meant a lot to our daughter. I know it meant a lot to me. So when we came home last week to find a letter jammed in our doorknob from the town Building Commissioner stating that an anonymous complaint had been submitted through an attorney against the display of our sign, I was disheartened.

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Comments

I hate to be that guys but.... Some people feel like the Black Lives Matter movement promotes racism. I just thought I would mention that to manage reasonable expectations. On a related note, black lives do matter. In addition all human lives matter. Just don't be surprised if some oppose to that phrase and please don't jump to the conclusion they are dirty racists. Thank you,

-That Guy

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If you feel offended by the BLM signs, you are a racist.

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Whats offensive is the rhetoric from the people behind the sign.

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Does change and progress make you uncomfortable?

Black people, especially black women, are disproportionately shat upon.

Stop dehumanizing black people.
Stop treating black lives as disposable.
Black lives matter!

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With accusations like this, it's no wonder people have a hard time taking it seriously.

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"People"? Would that be you and the mouse in your pocket? Oh wait, all your friends, I know...

You speak for yourself. You don't speak for "people".

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The votes on the original comment would disagree, but I enjoyed your projecting in response to a comment on projecting.

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O wise Cicero, what rhetoric is it that you find so offensive? "Stop killing us"? Yeah, that's such an unreasonable demand, innit.

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Over 90% of black murder victims are killed by black offenders.

Source: FBI

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They reveal that 29% of those killed by police, or 135 people, were black. Sixty-seven, or 14%, were Hispanic/Latino, and 234, or 50%, were white.

If I'm reading the article you posted right then more white people are killed by police than blacks/Hispanics.

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The figures illustrate how disproportionately black Americans, who make up just 13% of the country’s total population according to census data, are killed by police.

In the next infographic down, it explains that 62.7% of people killed by police are unarmed people of color. There are more white people in the U.S. (for now) - but black/Latino people are killed by police at a much higher rate.

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Do these black offenders get arrested or killed themselves in retaliatory violence? Or do they get a Fox special and a Kickstarter and the full-throated support of jealous Internet commenters?

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It didn't make it - could you try to revise?

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It's rather easy to use.

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It doesn't seem to exist. Amazing, eh? Not that you actually bothered to look yourself.

Sure, I find a lot of blogswarf that claims that some magic data exists on some magic FBI site, but I find nothing from the actual FBI that has not been, shall we say, carefully culled and redacted in inappropriate ways and edited to fit the claims being made.

The lay term for this is "cherrypicking".

Such simplistic thinking appeals to conservatives, though. Truthy memes are easy to think. The reality of our world is usually vastly more complicated, nuanced, and not so very definite as your "Source = FBI". http://psp.sagepub.com/content/early/2012/03/16/0146167212439213.abstrac...

But, hey, don't quit your day job to go into research.

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As a note here, Politifact offers this look at race victims and perpetrators (where known).

That's a start, and it shows (unsurprisingly, as Politifact notes) that people are mostly killed by members of their own race. The article points out, "Why do the murder statistics show this pattern? Well, people tend to marry, date, befriend and live with people from the same race. So it’s not really a surprise that people are usually murdered by someone from their own race."

But general figures on murder are not germane here. The question is not who commits criminal acts on others. The questions are issues of justice, racial bias in how law enforcement is done, and whether anything is really better (or is it worse) for Americans of color than it was when I was a child in the early 60s?

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That is fine if you think that. If I had concerns about people not favoring me I wound not have chosen my blog name the way I did. I sincerely feel all lives matter but judge if you please. Also, the person who posted that sign admitted it violated city code. So what's the issue?

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My comment wasn't as much directed at you as it was anyone who claims to find the phrase offensive and/or racist.

The BML signs are simply reaffirming that one race is no less important then another. If you find that statement offensive, you are by definition a racist.

[Edit: For clarity]

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with context, no.

With context, there's a (perceived) middle finger in somewhere.

And for the record, all lives matter. Choosing to focus on black lives or white lives in a messaging campaign undermines the aspiration to the unity and fraternity across ethnic, religious, economic, and philosophical lines that we should all strive to as Americans. Undermining that message is also offensive, by the way.

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That is a good analogy. To claim offense at "Black Lives Matter" is the equivalent of being offended at Breast Cancer walks as they don't outwardly acknowledge the millions of other forms of cancer.

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I sincerely feel all lives matter but judge if you please.

Nothing says you sincerely feel all lives matter like dismissing the real and quantifiable problems a segment of society is facing because you don't like their slogan.

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deprived people? Because this is the #1 demographic of people who aren't doing so well in our society, and they come in all skin colors/tones, ethnicities, religions/atheists/agnostics, sexual orientations, genders, etc. Many black people are doing fine, many are prospering, some aren't, the same is true for any other demographic based on skin color.If you have $, connections, good education, stable families, etc., your life, regardless of skin color, will be easier, your interaction with our legal system will generally be smoother, etc.

As specifically for black people, we have had extensive government programs, including favoritism in employmemt/hiring practices, favoritism in getting into schools, and other forms of 'affirmative action' that black people (not just poor or disadvantaged black people, all black people, as soon as that little box that asks you what your 'race' is checked off) for 45 plus years. So, you canfairly say, black people not only aren't systematically adversely discriminated against in our society, they get special preferential treatment above others, based solely on their 'race' or skin color.

#All lives matter ....not just black.

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Thank you so much for summarizing in a nutshell what is wrong with the All Lives Matter argument: People who have convinced themselves that not only are blacks not discriminated against, they are privileged.

I won't even get into the whole class issue, of how the 1% have managed to convince you that blacks, not them, are your real problem, because you wouldn't believe it anyway. They've done an excellent job at that.

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or my post, which you kindly posted and commented on? What makes you think I am swayed by ideologically and financially motivated media, blogs, etc.? I am capable of reaching myown conclusions (as are many other people)without following a party line or narrative, either rightwing or leftwing. And for the record, I don't watch tv or cable news or opinion shows, rarely watch TV/cable, period.

As for your privilege comment, yes, you got it straight, I do believe the legally mandated special privileges and advantages black people in our society receive, which are above and beyond being treated as equals, constitutes a priviledge:

priv·i·lege/ˈpriv(ə)lij/
noun
a special right, advantage, or immunity granted or available only to a particular person or group of people.

verb

grant a privilege or privileges to.

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/privilege

And no, I don't come from or live in a non-diverse (racially, ethnically, socioeconomically, etc.) city / neighborhood. And although I am Caucasian / white, and a male, I certainly am not 'privileged', there are others, of every 'race', skin color, ethnicity, sexual orientation, gender who demonstrably are by virtue of their social class, status as an 'oppressed' person which entitles them to various privileges and entitlements above and beyond others, including me.

Finally, regarding actual active, hostile, and in many cases legal adverse descrimination, in our society, I can only think of one groupof people who fit that description, and that's homosexuals, although it's a situation that's dramatically improved even from just the recent past.

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So, you canfairly say, black people not only aren't systematically adversely discriminated against in our society, they get special preferential treatment above others, based solely on their 'race' or skin color.

Ladies and Gentlemen, introducing to you, modern conservative logic!

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Matt, and the past 50 years of social engineering carried out by the liberals of this country has been an utter failure.

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WTF, the past 50 years have been the most conservative in American history. The social engineering has come 100% from conservatives as they try to convince us that the Laffer Curve is really a line. Spoiler alert, it's still a curve.

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Then hearing the plights of the Persecuted White Christian American.

Makes the Trail of Tears look like a Walk for Hunger.

Surprised you poor guys aren't asking for Casinos yet.

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you're responding to. I am not Christian, I am not religious. Nice try. And neither am I rigidly right wing or conservative. I'm not rigidly, ideologically so-called conservative or so-called progressive / liberal. Neither am I a member of any political party, although I have registered on occasion in order to vote in specific primaries.

As for the rest of your post, yes, there really are disadvantaged (in MANY ways) both white people, and white males. Being disadvantaged, marginalized, IS NOT based on skin color.

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I am not Christian, I am not religious. Nice try. And neither am I rigidly right wing or conservative. I'm not rigidly, ideologically so-called conservative or so-called progressive / liberal. Neither am I a member of any political party, although I have registered on occasion in order to vote in specific primaries.

Just a flaming racist. That's all.

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You are wrong in many ways. For instance, look at prison sentences. Black people are given longer sentences than white people for the same exact crimes. There are numerous studies showing this. I don't know how someone could be ignorant of this fact unless they chose to be.

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What exactly do you mean by "not doing so well?" In what way?

It sounds like you're saying poor people are #1 at being poor.

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This is my favorite response to the sentiment that "All lives matter."

Imagine that you're sitting down to dinner with your family, and while everyone else gets a serving of the meal, you don't get any. So you say "I should get my fair share." And as a direct response to this, your dad corrects you, saying, "everyone should get their fair share." Now, that's a wonderful sentiment -- indeed, everyone should, and that was kinda your point in the first place: that you should be a part of everyone, and you should get your fair share also. However, dad's smart-ass comment just dismissed you and didn't solve the problem that you still haven't gotten any! [...] The phrase "Black lives matter" carries an implicit "too" at the end; it's saying that black lives should also matter. Saying "all lives matter" is dismissing the very problems that the phrase is trying to draw attention to.

(source)

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It should go without saying that lives matter-- But people have to assert specifically that black lives matter because so many people keep treating them as though they don't.

For the same reason we don't have a white history month or a men's history department, we assert that black lives matter because those lives in particular are so often disrespected, damaged, or outright stolen.

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to a whole lot of people, it just sounds like yet more shorthand for "give us free stuff" and "don't hold us accountable for making poor choices".

Not saying it's fair, not saying it's correct, but that's what happens with race politics, people revert to a tribal mentality and circle the wagons when confronted with blunt talk and "context."

I do like to think that people are reasonable and that there is such a thing as positive provocation, but blunt confrontation is rarely that, and a slogan where 33% of the words are an ethnic label stands next to no shot at drawing broad support.

BLM might do well to start using ALM as its slogan instead.. Same words, necessary context implied by the race of the speaker, no low fruit for both closet racists and genuinely suspicious well-meaningful people to latch onto or take issue with.

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BLM might do well to start using ALM as its slogan instead.. Same words, necessary context implied by the race of the speaker, no low fruit for both closet racists and genuinely suspicious well-meaningful people to latch onto or take issue with.

And then Miss Connie of Romper Room and Barney the dinosaur will have all the children sing a nice song about how we all need to get along, and we'll all have milk and cookies, and the white children will go home and forget that moment when they felt just slightly less than totally comfortable, and the black children will try to go home but will get harassed by cops on the way. Problem solved!

The point is that problems, real problems -- like the problem of pervasive racism in America today -- are not comfortable things. They aren't. And when you insist that those who talk about problems use slogans that are comfortable to those who aren't personally dealing with the problem, you're removing one of the few tools for actually addressing the problem that those WITH the problem have available to them. And in return for not disturbing your emotional comfort, you offer a vague promissory note that if they just stop saying those troubling words, you're sure that all the people who don't have the problem will get on solving it right away. Or that you're sure that they'll feel more predisposed to, maybe. Or, well, maybe you're just saying that they'll feel better about your slogan and your movement, that they'll see it as non-threatening.

Because guess what? It won't be.

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Adam, you and your followers are such hypocrites. You post stories all the time about people (sometimes in black areas of Boston) getting shot. All I ever see are a handfull of comments. Now you have a story about a sign in someone's front yard and all hell breaks loose. Why don't we ever see this kind of response when someone is shot and killed, and their life no longer exists. Deep down liberals really don't care about the black community, as long as you get their vote.

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The reason there are so many comments here isn't because of liberal hypocrisy but because a) The whiny white-people-are-oppressed crowd jumped in and people who are fed up with people like you are jumping in to answer.

Do you really have nothing better to do than count the number of messages on specific posts here?

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It isn't counting when you can do it on one hand. Sorry for pointing out something is so blazingly obvious. Maybe you should try paying a little more attention to your own website. I'm not surprised you attack me instead of my point.

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That's Commander Overlord Gaffin to you!

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Posting or saying "my prayers are with your family" is empty bullshit that accomplishes nothing other than boring the people reading the comments. That is your proof that liberals don't care about minorities?

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Or are you just auto-posting your That Guyness at a reference to Black Lives Matter?

Also, for what its worth, he lives in a private house, it seems, not a condo development, so the First Amendment still applies to his sign.

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...It is a sign. On a private lawn. I really don't care what it says. Someone called their lawyers to lodge a complaint? As Garfield the cat would say, they need to be drug out into the street and shot. Whole society of tattle-tales, complainers, and whiners. Just go to work, go home and try to enjoy yourself. Block the lawn sign out and get on with your life.
Sweet Jebus....

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Complaining about the sign through official channels via one's lawyer is a pretty impersonal and shitty way to engage your neighbor.

I would also say it's both cowardly and privileged, How many of us have a lawyer to do our dirty work?

And it's chickenshit to invoke zoning bylaws because you oppose the message.

Anyway he's not taking the bullshit sitting down. I'm proud of him and everyone else who stands up to ignoramuses living in denial out of ignorance or political purposes.

We’re not taking our sign down, although we will certainly make sure we strictly follow the town zoning bylaws from now on. And as a result of your complaint, I suspect you’ll see a few more signs around the neighborhood. I’m assuming you’ll still be able to pick out our house amidst the dozen or so Black Lives Matter slogans out there. We’ll be here if you ever want to talk.

IMAGE(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CScMEzVUwAEuWy-.jpg)

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If some people think their feelings are more important than the lives of other humans, those people could use an intensive course in empathy (and reality). The BLM movement isn't about denying anyone else their rights or personhood. It's about protesting and correcting the systemic stripping of black people's rights and personhood. It's about countering the inane "all lives matter" with proof of just how little black people's lives seem to matter in this country.

P.S. If you haven't heard the Ethel Merman disco version of "Some People" - well, you're in for a treat if you click this link.

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Someone hasn't heard of the ADL.

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But since I can't, I will simply link to a cartoon that sums up the weak "All Lives Matter!" counterargument better than any words can.

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IMAGE(http://chainsawsuit.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/20141204-patreon.png)
[img]http://chainsawsuit.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/20141204-patreon.png[/img]

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(remove all # marks first)

[#img#] http://somewebsite/some/path/some.jpg [#/img#]

The trick is at the bottom, select "Filtered HTML" from the drop down next to "Text Format" instead of "Default".

If it doesn't show when you click on "Preview Post", it didn't work and try again.

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IMAGE(http://textimages.us/thanks/thanks05/thanks-024.jpg)

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IMAGE(http://static.yourtango.com/cdn/farfuture/gfYl7Q5tLsA_LHVKzmnmuDIuP0ctN98bcTvvIzJnQB0/mtime:1405199334/sites/default/files/image_list/goldengirls.gif)

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will decide who needs that 'extensive course in empathy'? Who'll teach that course? Will it be in a forced seminar or re-education facility?

If that sign said #socio-economically deprived white lives matter, or #socio-economically deprived male lives matter, would you be saying similar things?

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I'll teach it. Don't worry, it's an online course - you can take it whilst lounging in your pajamas.

And no, I hate white people and men and especially white men, so they can all burn in hell for all I care!

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That's when conservatives convince poor, gullible white folk that blacks are robbing them of opportunity.

Bless your heart.

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such as true believer 'progressives' (leftists) or their ideological opposites on the far right, routinely pit one group(s) against another. Political parties, on the left and right, Democrat and Republican, use this facile tactic. Advertisers/Marketers use this tactic. Cults use it. It's not unique to any one specific group.

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Should I hire a lawyer to have JiffyLube change the channel while I'm there?

Better yet, I'm suing my neighbor because I feel his handmade 'build the wall' bumper sticker on his car promotes stupidity.

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Some people feel like the Black Lives Matter movement promotes racism.

Some people feel like the earth is flat. We can't organize a civil society simply based on a lot of uninformed beliefs.

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Some people feel like dancin'!
Some people feel the Bern!
Some people feel love!
Some people feel it in their fingers, they feel it in their toes!

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The point of Black Lives Matter is that while most of us agree that black people's lives matter as much as white people's lives, in fact, black people get treated differently in this country all the time just because their skin is dark. So its really a reminder that, in fact, black people are treated differently so that we can all think about how to make sure that they don't get treated differently. This includes properly training law enforcement to interact with black and white people the same. Thankfully I think our police in Boston have a very good record on this score. However the rest of the country is a shit show where you would think Jim Crow laws were still on the books. I really wish we didn't have to think about this as a country because its f-ing uncomfortable, but unfortunately we do. So Black Lives Matter.

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You ARE that guy. You're the guy who talks about "some people" when he's actually referring to himself. And you're the guy who doesn't understand that the phrase "black lives matter" doesn't meant that non-black lives don't matter. It means that black lives matter ALSO, because, in the history of our country, black lives are regarded as less relevant. Specifically, less relevant than white lives.

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Ya the parents are forcing a political ideology down their daughters throat..

Here an idea, your daughters is 8, she'll only be 8 once. Let her enjoy her childhood. Not to mention, you live in the burbs not Baltimore.

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I know in this fast-paced and hectic world in which we live, it can be difficult to devote a whole five minutes to reading something, but you really should consider reading his post before making assumptions.

If you want to spend even more time, this is not the first thing he's written about raising minority children in a mostly white suburb. I can certainly provide links if you like, but you sound like you're just too busy for that.

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Yes 8 seems to be quite young. This will only confuse the child and possibly make it an irrational thinker

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"it"?? The child is a girl.

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If you don't think children haven't been silently picking up their parents' political ideologies and social leanings since the age of 4 or 5, then you are seriously underestimating their intelligence. But, that wouldn't be surprising since I would say that most people seriously underestimate how much information children absorb. Even when a parent isn't loudly broadcasting how they feel about the economy, for instance, that doesn't mean a child is unable to discern their parent's body language and feelings are particular subjects. They are always watching and learning.

And as a Black woman, I will let you know that from very young Black children, as well as other minority children, are aware of their skin color, hair texture, and their white classmates' families' feelings about the aforementioned subjects from the day we enter school.

Finally, what does living in the suburbs have to do with anything? You think racism is only within the inner city ring? Please.

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Bring an ethnically and racially mixed squad of kids to Wilmington sometime, and count who gets called for non-fouls, and who gets to brutalize people.

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forcing a political ideology down their daughters throat

Yes, the ideal parent is one which keep their children locked in a bubble and prevents any inkling of the outside world or current events to grace their tender, untarnished ears.

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Ya the parents are forcing a political ideology down their daughters throat..

So, I assume you feel the same way about religious beliefs? So parents should not be allowed to make their children go to church/temple/whatever? I'm sure a lot of kids would be down with that.

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We must stop to consider the type of person who uses the term "shoving down .... throat".

Then ignore everything they say, because they are one of those people who is obsessed with compulsory fellatio beyond sense or reason.

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You think racism doesn't exist in suburbs?

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Teach children about history, justice, and empathy. Empower young girls!

P.S. Do educated empowered black women frighten you?

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I'm guessing because his blog post mentions a Thoreau Elementary school.

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but was (pleasantly) surprised by the lack of it. But.....

[edited to add the "pleasantly" which I inadvertently left off earlier]

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This is a fantastic opportunity for Gaysian Dad to teach his children about first amendment rights. I hope he fights back.

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If you don't like them gather signatures and support, write a warrant article and get them changed at Town Meeting. He might have a better chance of passage if signs must be made from recycled plastic water bottles.

PS Is that really his white picket fence, or the set from Desperate Housewives?

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Zoning Laws Matter

But they, and all laws, matter a lot less when they're selectively enforced. Unless the town yanked every sign from every lawn, they're committing a selectively applied action in support of a racist agenda, and that is bullshit.

The history of the civil rights movement is full of the struggle against laws that applied to everyone in theory, but were applied only to African-Americans in practice. Have we learned nothing?

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He's keeping the sign up but repositioning it so it's in compliance. He's recruited many of his neighbors to put the sign up too.

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about anti bike stuff?

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It's a first amendment thing for me, and besides, what about the signs he notes for solar panels or the umpteen open houses for various private schools?

And for the record, I'm no fan of BLM, but expression of people's beliefs is something I can get behind.

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There's plenty of issues to be taken with some of the viewpoints of Black Lives Matter, but calling a lawyer because you don't care for your neighbor's sign? That takes a special level of passive-aggressive, self-absorbed anger.

It's a sign. It's inanimate cardboard with some words on it. That's it.

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I think it is quite cowardly that the person who filed the complaint is remaining anonymous. I also think the motivation for filing the complaint is racist.

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The METCO Program is a set aside for Black people only. No matter what your income. And that's a big deal. I wish my kids could go to Lincoln-Sudbury schools.

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Hispanics are eligible as well. I realize that's not your point, but you might as well be accurate in your anger.

Also, if you're so hepped up about Lincoln-Sudbury, you do realize there's at least one BPS school that consistently outscores it, right? And you do realize that it has a far higher percentage of white students than the overall BPS system, right?

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going into getting more black and Hispanic kids into THAT school than busing them way the f out to Lincoln Sudbury.

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METCO works. I know a bunch of Boston kids who attended schools in a well funded school system. I think it's good for everyone involved.

Does school choice program allow a Boston student to attend school out of district?

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Where does it say the complainer is a racist? Please provide references.

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Where does it say he or she isn't? Has he or she filed complaints about other signs in town? Do you really think this isn't about the content of the sign? And I said that I think it's racist. Just as you are entitled to spout your opinion ("I hate to be that guy..." - no you don't!) so am I. I hate to be that gal....but I think you are full of baloney.

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To anyone who actually knows what racism looks like.

Check your privilege, dear.

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You may want to re-read my post, since I agree whoever complained about the sign is racist! I was responding to Republican.

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Put a ruler on the screen - "itchy anon" wasn't replying to you, but to Rethuglycan as well.

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OMG!!! That's so funny and clever!

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think
THiNGk/
verb
1.
have a particular opinion, belief, or idea about someone or something.
"she thought that nothing would be the same again"
synonyms: believe, be of the opinion, be of the view, be under the impression; More

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In most cases it is not a racial issue it is a police mentality and how the cops need additional training on deescalating instead of all of this riot training.

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And, of course, cops' perception of who is a threat has nothing at all to do with racist attitudes. NO, never.

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A sign on private property. An attorney. A town employee who didn't tell that attorney to pound sand.

Sigh.

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People will complain about anything. Anything.

Just because someone complained, that doesn't mean action has to be taken against the sign owner. As he said, there are many innocuous signs in his town that (may) violate the bylaw.

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