Tell Laura I like her

The smell of desperation...

Maybe he went a little too high on the Y variable.

X = The number people who live in your apartment (including you)
Y = The number of drinks Mike got you
Z = The number of drinks Mike got himself

A = How creepy it is, on a scale from 1 to 9, that Mike keeps referring to himself in the third person
B = The number of times you texted your friend while you talked with Mike
C = The number of times you said "Oh no!" when your friend eventually called
D = The number of cats in your apartment that your friend told you that were on fire, which you had to go extinguish immediately

Z = the number of fedora tips

I can't say women are generally impressed by indecisiveness, never mind THIS level of indecisiveness. And then putting her name and nationality up on wanted posters in a last ditch effort to overcome his gaffe... *cringe*

Sheldon did it better last night.

This woman is supposedly from the same country that invented the Enigma. You need to come up with a better code than one that can be cracked by estimating that she probably shares an apartment with three other students (thus, x=4) and that had he bought her any more than 2, maybe 3, drinks, he would have had time to ask for her number (so y≤3).