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Hard times in Quincy Center
By adamg on Tue, 01/31/2017 - 5:17pm
The Quincy Patriot Ledger reports police arrested a man they caught masturbating in a Quincy Center parking lot outside two different restaurants on two consecutive days - and that when they put him in lockup, he started right up again. He faces a variety of charges.
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Comments
Reminds me of...
Patient goes for his annual physical. Doctor says, "I don't know how to tell you this, but you have to start masturbating."
"Why?" says the patient.
"So I can start the examination..."
It's about time he showed some balls
Wait, this is the immigration thing, right?
(TINY EDIT- Adam changed the teaser on the article before this so that it actually references the immigration thing as opposed to this story, which makes my reference kind of odd. Still, I won't change what I wrote. Speaking of tiny edit...
You know, we laugh at this guy, but... that's what we do.)
Feel Bad
Not to excuse his actions, but he's suffering some serious mental health problems.
Feel for him
That he needed to buy a magazine for it.
A Magazine?
How quaint. Do they even print skin mags anymore?
Not that I would know
but, yes
The judge will deal with his case firmly
Unlikely
For most judges, being assigned this case would be a real let down and they be inclined to go soft on him.
Of course, the right judge might rise to the occasion and rule in favor of a stiff punishment.
Depends
The hearings on whether he is up for a trial might take more than four hours. Otherwise, he'll be yanked into the mental health system.
Truth being, of course, stranger than fiction....
... he could always hope for this judge:
http://www.abajournal.com/news/article/ex_judge_disbarred_for_using_peni...
It seems like no matter how
It seems like no matter how hard they try, they can't seem to penile-ize this guy..
Reporting can be a hard job
but Adam, to his credit, never leaves us with a turgid writing or comes across with a tumescent ego. We get just the hard, sometimes hot, sometimes warm, but never flaccid facts.
Warning**
Tons of bad puns below..I expect better from the UHub community.
Was this outside the Penalty Box?
and did Eddie Shore send him?
Sounds mentally ill.
Sounds mentally ill.
Clearly what this guy needs is a lifetime criminal record and sex offender registration.