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Hard times in Quincy Center

By adamg on Tue, 01/31/2017 - 5:17pm

The Quincy Patriot Ledger reports police arrested a man they caught masturbating in a Quincy Center parking lot outside two different restaurants on two consecutive days - and that when they put him in lockup, he started right up again. He faces a variety of charges.

Neighborhoods: 
Quincy
Topics: 
Crime
Free tagging: 
Quincy Center


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Comments

By Lunchbox on Tue, 01/31/2017 - 5:58pm.

Patient goes for his annual physical. Doctor says, "I don't know how to tell you this, but you have to start masturbating."

"Why?" says the patient.

"So I can start the examination..."

By Waquiot on Tue, 01/31/2017 - 10:28pm.

Wait, this is the immigration thing, right?

(TINY EDIT- Adam changed the teaser on the article before this so that it actually references the immigration thing as opposed to this story, which makes my reference kind of odd. Still, I won't change what I wrote. Speaking of tiny edit...

You know, we laugh at this guy, but... that's what we do.)

By BostonDog on Tue, 01/31/2017 - 6:49pm.

Not to excuse his actions, but he's suffering some serious mental health problems.

By Bugs Bunny on Tue, 01/31/2017 - 7:01pm.

That he needed to buy a magazine for it.

By Saddlebrook7 on Tue, 01/31/2017 - 9:44pm.

How quaint. Do they even print skin mags anymore?

By anon on Tue, 01/31/2017 - 11:09pm.

but, yes

By Ron Newman on Tue, 01/31/2017 - 8:46pm.

 

By BostonDog on Tue, 01/31/2017 - 9:07pm.

For most judges, being assigned this case would be a real let down and they be inclined to go soft on him.

Of course, the right judge might rise to the occasion and rule in favor of a stiff punishment.

By SwirlyGrrl on Tue, 01/31/2017 - 10:49pm.

The hearings on whether he is up for a trial might take more than four hours. Otherwise, he'll be yanked into the mental health system.

By Bob Leponge on Tue, 01/31/2017 - 10:53pm.

... he could always hope for this judge:

A former Oklahoma judge convicted for using a penis pump while presiding over trials has been disbarred.

http://www.abajournal.com/news/article/ex_judge_disbarred_for_using_peni...

By Ahab on Tue, 01/31/2017 - 9:40pm.

It seems like no matter how hard they try, they can't seem to penile-ize this guy..

By Daan on Wed, 02/01/2017 - 8:30am.

but Adam, to his credit, never leaves us with a turgid writing or comes across with a tumescent ego. We get just the hard, sometimes hot, sometimes warm, but never flaccid facts.

By Scauma on Wed, 02/01/2017 - 8:57am.

Tons of bad puns below..I expect better from the UHub community.

By Lanny Budd on Wed, 02/01/2017 - 12:30pm.

and did Eddie Shore send him?

By anon on Thu, 02/02/2017 - 7:03pm.

Sounds mentally ill.

Clearly what this guy needs is a lifetime criminal record and sex offender registration.