Severed penis on Hancock Street

Adam follows up on all the tips!

A man is waiting for wife to give birth. The doctor comes in and
informs the dad that his son was born without torso, arms or legs.
The son is just a head! But the dad loves his son and raises him as
well as he can, with love and compassion.

After 21 years, the son is old enough for his first drink. Dad takes
him to the bar and tearfully tells the son he is proud of him. Dad
orders up the biggest, strongest drink for his boy. With all the
bar patrons looking on curiously and the bartender shaking his head
in disbelief, the boy takes his first sip of alcohol. Swoooop! A
torso pops out!

The bar is dead silent; then bursts into a whoop of joy. The father,
shocked, begs his son to drink again. The patrons chant "Take another
drink"! The bartender still shakes his head in dismay. Swoooop!
Two arms pops out. The bar goes wild. The father, crying and
wailing, begs his son to drink again. The patrons chant "Take another
drink"! The bartender ignores the whole affair. By now the boy is
getting tipsy, and with his new hands he reaches down, grabs his
drink and guzzles the last of it. Swoooop! Two legs pop out. The
bar is in chaos.

The father falls to his knees and tearfully thanks God.

The boy stands up on his new legs and stumbles to the left.... then
to the right.... right through the front door, into the street, where
a truck runs over him and kills him instantly.

The bar falls silent. The father moans in grief.

The bartender sighs and says, "That boy should have quit while
he was a head."

This seems as good an opportunity as any to remind you that one of the guidelines for sex-positive health education is to always refer to human external genitalia using the name of a dog breed. So one would properly say, "Severed Weimaraner found on Hanpug St." or, alternatively, "Severed Mastiff found on Hanpoodle St."

Well put. I will remember that.