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Boston in 2022: 311 complaints
By adamg on Mon, 12/26/2022 - 11:45am
The lass with a point to make about a pothole in West Roxbury sums up Boston 311 kvetchers in 2022, who started the year with a giant snow penis and continued on with complaints about killer turkeys, out-of-control pickleballers, a chicken crossing the road, an alert citizen informing the city that Marty Walsh is no longer mayor and a fountain filled with Fizzies. Here are some of the best Citizen Complaints of the Day:
Citizen complaint of the day: The giant snow penis on Beacon Street1/7/22Update: The frat brothers have taken their giant snow penis down. A concerned citizen recovers with the help of some... |
Citizen complaint of the day: The Leather District's panty tree1/15/22On April 9 of last year, a puzzled citizen filed a 311 report about a tree outside 112 South St. in the Leather District that... |
Citizen complaint of the day: Round, mean mugging turkey downtown1/24/22A citizen filed a 311 report this afternoon that consists of a picture of a round turkey at State and Kilby streets and a... |
Citizen complaint of the day: Beacon Hill isn't Southie2/2/22A concerned nob filed a 311 complaint yesterday about this simply ghastly space saver at Spruce Street and Spruce Court on... |
Citizen complaint of the day: Art or not art in Jamaica Plain?2/23/22A concerned citizen filed a 311 report on this impromptu exhibit on Day Street in Jamaica Plain yesterday. Alas for folks... |
BTD to remove bogus stop sign somebody put up at Dorchester intersection4/15/22Responding to a 311 complaint about a stop sign on Minot Street at Branton in Dorchester, BTD says it didn't put the sign up... |
Citizen complaint of the day: Police can't collar loose goose5/6/22Earlier this week, a concerned citizen, or perhaps, a concerned member of the local constabulary, filed a 311 complaint about... |
Citizen complaint of the day: Ben Affleck filming in Charlestown again?5/12/22A concerned citizen filed a 311 complaint about the small safe that seems to have just shown up in Monument Square in the one... |
Citizen complaint of the day: Was Chuckie the Charlestown capybara sauntering down Medford Street?5/19/22A citizen of the sort who is up at 4:41 a.m. files a 311 report about the situation on Medford Street in Charlestown:... |
Citizen complaint of the day: North End trash barrel was pretty in pink, put it back!5/22/22A disgusted citizen files a 311 complaint to demand the city replace the pink trash barrel of Prince Street, and not just... |
Citizen complaint of the day: JP needs to be protected from marauding hordes of golf fans crossing over from Brookline in a couple weeks6/2/22An increasingly concerned citizen files a 311 report urging Boston to do something now to protect Moss Hillers, pondsiders... |
Citizen complaint of the day: Fill this sinkhole or she'll taunt you a second time, you English pigdogs6/3/22A vexed citizen files a 311 complaint, complete with photo of a particularly pained observer, about an unfilled sinkhole on... |
Citizen complaint of the day: Damn bounce house in the middle of the street6/4/22An aggrieved citizen filed a 311 complaint at 11:41 a.m. today about the shaky situation on Spring Garden Street in... |
Citizen complaint of the day: That's no Dick Van Dyke singing 'Chim Chim Cher-ee'6/13/22A shocked resident of East Concord Street in the South End filed a 311 complaint about what he or she saw when looking out... |
Citizen complaint of the day: How dare somebody tell me my dog shouldn't dig up this freshly reseeded ground6/18/22An irate citizen filed a 311 complaint to ask that the city immediately remove some handmade signs at DeFilippo Playground in... |
Citizen complaint of the day: Basketball hoops don't spray water6/26/22A concerned citizen filed a 311 complaint today about a basketball stuck up at the top of a spray-deck water feature at... |
Citizen complaint of the day: Porta potty just shows up in the North End and now people are using it7/5/22A perplexed citizen files a 311 complaint about a temporary toilet that suddenly showed up at Fulton and Lewis streets in the... |
Citizen complaint of the day: Raccoon family on the move in Charlestown7/10/22A concerned citizen files a 311 complaint about a family of raccoons roaming the neighborhood (with a note that there are two... |
Citizen complaint of the day: Chicken crossing the road in Roslindale7/21/22A concerned citizen filed a 311 riddle tonight about a live chicken at the intersection of American Legion Highway and Walk... |
Citizen complaint of the day: Huge wasps build giant nest in Jamaica Plain8/4/22A concerned citizen files a 311 complaint about a wasps' nest that has all of McBride Street buzzing. Giant wasps nest... |
Citizen complaint of the day: Leiningen vs. the rats in Dorchester8/6/22A disgusted citizen files a 311 complaint about the Bakersfield Street/Kelvin Road area in Dorchester, that reads like a... |
Citizen complaint of the day: Out of control pickleballers in Jamaica Plain8/29/22A fed-up citizen files a 311 complaint about the city courts on South Street in Jamaica Plain: The playground at 52 South... |
Citizen complaint of the day: Is there a Delta House chapter in the North End?9/3/22A concerned citizen filed a 311 complaint this afternoon about the newly sudsy fountain in the North End Prado: Someone... |
Citizen complaint of the day: Boobs on display in South Boston9/11/22A citizen in need of a fainting couch filed a 311 complaint about one of those LED signboards at O and East 2nd streets that... |
Citizen complaint of the day: Imagine the Purge on Newbury Street, what, you can't, because the city would never allow it there? Welcome to Allston9/18/22A disgusted citizen files a 311 complaint about the dystopian darkness along North Harvard and Empire streets in Allston:... |
Citizen complaint of the day: Out-of-control turkeys mounting a counter-attack on one Dorchester street10/13/22A panicked citizen manages to file a 311 report from Ocean Street in Dorchester before the turkeys realize what she's doing... |
Citizen complaint of the day: Marty's not the mayor anymore10/30/22A concerned citizen takes time out of a no doubt very busy schedule to file a 311 complaint about the sign in Christopher... |
Citizen complaint of the day: Do you know how annoying the Readville train yard is? No, but hum a few bars ...10/31/22A fed-up citizen files a 311 complaint about the intractable noise from the train yard in Readville: Please make the... |
Citizen complaint of the day: Not all taggers spray at night11/13/22A concerned citizen filed a 311 complaint about the graffiti guy he spotted adding to the freshly re-painted wall across from... |
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Late contender
Yesterday there was a complaint about the Islamic Society's mosque "interfering with my peace" on Christmas with their call to prayer, with the filer wondering why this was allowed.
Unbelievable.
https://311.boston.gov/reports/101004610267?t=2022-12-25T21:23:00.000000Z
Is the call to prayer amplified through a speaker?
Is the noise level in violation of the city ordinance?
Yes
I live right there. It is over an amplified speaker, and probably is over 70dB at the lot line.
They don't do the calls to prayer that occur super early or super late, only the ones roughly during business hours and a bit into the evening. It's a chant that lasts a few seconds, and the text of the calls to prayer is not preachy and is objectively inoffensive (each one of the daily prayer calls is just some variation on god is good, blessed is god, etc.) unless you're someone who's offended by religion and/or brown people's very existence.
The recorded "bus to Nubian Square" announcements when the bus pulls up a couple blocks away are actually louder inside my house and occur earlier and later, as well as more frequently, and have at times woken me up and have been heard by people on the other end of my zoom calls. Again, not offensive, necessary, and normal city noise. I really see no difference between this and the mosque.
FWIW, two things can be true at the same time. There's nothing wrong with the call to prayer, but also, the city basically doesn't enforce any laws related to religious organizations. They decline to enforce noise complaints regarding churches with amplified music for hours on end, they said they wouldn't do anything about a church preaching blatantly homophobic sermons over a loudspeaker that can be heard inside people's homes because the church has freedom of speech, and they will not enforce double parking, no parking signs, or bike lane violations during the hours of nearby religious services, and they don't require any sort of permitting or traffic control so that people can safely walk and bike past houses of worship.
Sadly, too believable.
All kinds of privilege in that one, but I'll just say I'm quite sure that the Islamic Society was in that neighborhood long before the complainer moved there. Maybe the complainer should move out to Eastie, where it's quiet.
The yuppies
complain about the bells ringing at the Gate of Heaven church in Southie. And let’s not forget the beautiful people in Charlestown complaints about the USS Constitution firing her cannon at sunset.
How I wish 311 could reply
And in despair I bowed my head;
"There is no peace on earth," I said;
"For hate is strong,
And mocks the song
Of peace on earth, good-will to men!"
- Longfellow, I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day
Fix two at once. Fill the
Fix two at once. Fill the pothole with snow penis.
I am 311
I am 311
I take your calls for fun
You whine about this
You whine about that
And now your call is done.
Say what you want, you gotta
Say what you want, you gotta give praise to whoever fights the battle every day with bleach and a scrubber to clean up the feces, urine, and vomit on the sidewalks and doorways along Mass Cass, Valenti Way, needles, and discarded food, sticky drinks, nip bottles, and crushed beer cans throughout.
7th grade humor
I’m tickled at the percent of these which are related to genetalia and/or undergarments.
This is type of hard hitting investigative journalism I come to U Hub for.
Seriously. Nice work. Thanks Adam.