It's not clear if Awake MFA Baby is enjoying the taste. Spotted yesterday afternoon.
But it doesn't move me anymore, has that weirdly tongue-coating, icky sweetness of all HFCS-based products, most sodas included. And yet I can't work up much hostility for them. Not gonna yuck your yum there, little kids, as I would not gainsay your thinking me insane for my love of spicy chili crisp. (You'll understand both someday.)
You want to get me in a fire-breathing rage over Frankensugar-based monstrosities, you'll have to bring up Circus Peanuts. They're cooked down from the gelatinous blobs that Beelzebub picks out of the corners of his eyes the morning after a night of endless Fireball shots, ether-bingeing, and Cards Against Humanity.
The horror. The HORRor.
I remember biting off each different-colored segment of a single piece of candy corn, believing that I was actually savoring individual flavors.
Irma, Brach's is now offering this monstrosity:
NEW to store shelves: A full course meal presented in a unique mix of candy corn flavors. BRACH’S Turkey Dinner includes all of the traditional Thanksgiving favorites. From roasted turkey, green beans and stuffing to ginger glazed carrots, cranberry sauce and sweet potato pie.
Flavors include Green Beans, Roasted Turkey, Cranberry Sauce, Ginger Glazed Carrot, Sweet Potato Pie & Stuffing.
In case you think I'm joking: https://www.brachs.com/products/halloween/turkey-dinner-candy-corn.html
I could see the "ginger-glazed carrot" and "cranberry sauce" possibly working.
Wonka's Magic Chewing Gum, also known as 3-Course Dinner Gum.
Just ask Violet Beauregarde.
When I was a kid, if you tried to give me a bag of candy corn......that was a slap in the face. A full snickers bar was always the top prize for any Halloween night. A bag of candy corn was right down there with circus peanuts, candy apples, or a sleeve of those plastic candies glued to paper.
It was usually something that got dumped into a bowl or candy jar.
I still have an inexplicable love for the stuff - in small amounts, though. One thing that I miss about not being in the office is sneaking a kernel or two from the reception desk candy trough.
link to one version of the recipe:
I do love circus peanuts. The weird smell. The strange texture. But this monstrosity of a recipe is simply uncalled for. Yuck!
You're wrong about candy corn.
The photo looks like something out of a Quay Brothers short.
Wasn't all candy corn made in 1952 and Brachs has been selling us the overstock ever since?
(that sh*t doesn't rot)
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