Councilor O'Malley's proclamation on proper pond etiquette in the time of coronavirus.
City Councilor Matt O'Malley probably thought he was ending all the confusion about how to space walkers and joggers out around Jamaica Pond when he declared the other day that everybody should a) walk around the pond clockwise and b) stay to the left, because, you know this is JP, ain't nobody on the right here.
Nobody had any problems with going around the pond clockwise (ed note: Having written that, how long before we get outraged e-mail from somebody who does?). But stay to the left? No way, some cry: This isn't England, everybody should stay to the right! Where do slow walkers stand on escalators? One person suggested that if O'Malley doesn't like the way things have always been done at the pond, he should go back to where he came from (O'Malley is from Roslindale, so at least he won't have to travel far).
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Comments
Or instead of treating Social
By Ann Onymous
Tue, 03/24/2020 - 10:01am
Or instead of treating Social Distancing like some cute thing, they could encourage folks to STAY THE HELL HOME.
Christ, it isn’t that hard.
FH Res
By Anon
Tue, 03/24/2020 - 10:04am
Always walk counterclockwise...around the pond...not stopping. Can't stop...won't stop.
Jamaica Pond is likely to
By DPM
Tue, 03/24/2020 - 10:15am
Jamaica Pond is likely to crowded for me to go visit, but yah, stay RIGHT!
I think he meant move left...
By Dot net
Tue, 03/24/2020 - 10:20am
As in, the direction you turn when going clockwise, in relationship to yourself. Turning left will point you clockwise. Though, of course, we bear right and move in rotaries counter-clockwise...
Walk
By Allah
Tue, 03/24/2020 - 12:41pm
I know we don’t have dog racing anymore in Massachusetts but if you follow the route of the dog track you would walk counter clockwise we with rescue greyhounds know their proclivity to taking left turns.
This defies the laws of God and
By MC Slim JB
Tue, 03/24/2020 - 10:21am
rotaries in the Commonwealth. And the rotation of the earth and its revolution about the sun. And the rotation of the moon and its revolution about the earth. And the way my toilet flushes. What is wrong with these people?!
Walk Like You Drive
By BlackKat
Tue, 03/24/2020 - 11:25am
I find this confounding as well. Like when someone walks on the left side of the sidewalk instead of the right side. We're not in Britain damnit.
If it was England
By The Fox 915
Tue, 03/24/2020 - 10:22am
If it was England, the Ministry of Silly Walks would settle the question.
The only jogging I do is when
By Rob
Tue, 03/24/2020 - 10:24am
The only jogging I do is when I have to jog my memory, but even I know that (whatever direction everybody is going on a circular track), it's not left/right. It's walk: innermost lane, run: next lane, pass: outermost lane.
advising people to go one direction isn't going to work
By MMMMpapis
Tue, 03/24/2020 - 10:43am
what if they can't walk all the way around? LOL
Walk backwards?
By CT
Tue, 03/24/2020 - 10:56am
Nevermind that would be going counter-clockwise.
How about if you can't walk all the way around you should be doing something else? If 1.4 miles is too much, walk around the block. Whatever. I'm glad someone is taking action to address this issue!
Then they should be hiding
By Kinopio
Tue, 03/24/2020 - 11:14am
Then they should be hiding from the virus in their home because they are in terrible shape and would not survive the virus.
Shaming People
By anon
Tue, 03/24/2020 - 12:11pm
Now we are shaming people who can't walk all the way around the pond?
Fat shaming, of course
By Parkwayne
Tue, 03/24/2020 - 12:39pm
Always on brand, always full of hate for the less fortunate.
Ridiculous Kinopio
By Lee
Tue, 03/24/2020 - 1:12pm
They more than anyone need exercise, sunshine and fresh air to keep stress levels low and immune response high.
I'm glad you posted that at
By Rob
Tue, 03/24/2020 - 3:56pm
I'm glad you posted that at 11:14, Kinopio - fitting that such a useless utterance came before the noon deadline for nonessential movements.
It's a one-and-a-half-mile circuit around the pond, genius! That's not a practical walk for some people who at the same time are entirely safe to be outside.
What other arbitrary standards do you have? "Only those who can safely dive from a three-meter platform should be allowed to swim?"
His suggestion just advises
By anon
Tue, 03/24/2020 - 10:47am
His suggestion just advises to take a left when coming into the path, not to walk/run on the left side. Fake news ;-)
So yes, the sign should say One Way not stay left.
Not fake news at all
By Bob Leponge
Tue, 03/24/2020 - 9:24pm
Yeah, the sign should have said "One way", or "Walk this way". But it didn't. It said "Keep left," which has a specific meaning, a meaning that is entirely unrelated to whether you're walking clockwise or counterclockwise around the pond.
One of the jobs of the City Council is to draft legislation. Some members even went to law school. Have you ever read legislation passed by the City Council? For the most part, the quality of the drafting would embarrass a sixth grader. It depresses me, but doesn't surprise me in the slightest, that they can't even draft a directional sign without fucking it up.
I think what I like best about "Sunscreen" O'Malley
By Sock_Puppet
Tue, 03/24/2020 - 11:23am
Is all the ideas he has for "fixing" things.
LOL
By Lee
Tue, 03/24/2020 - 1:15pm
Until we are under Marshall Law, I will walk any way my heart desires around the pond.
Is he Cardinal Law's brother?
By Ron Newman
Tue, 03/24/2020 - 6:09pm
Pretty sure he's the front man for that Southern rock
By MC Slim JB
Tue, 03/24/2020 - 8:27pm
band that did "Heard It in a Love Song".
Medieval solution
By Parkwayne
Tue, 03/24/2020 - 11:36am
Clearly, a jousting tournament of some sort (maybe on fixies?) needs to be held. To the victor go the spoils, which in this case will be going left or right when you reach the pond.
OK
By Pete X
Tue, 03/24/2020 - 11:45am
Just as long as your lance is at least 6' long
Holy crap! Boston is a city
By anon
Tue, 03/24/2020 - 11:44am
Holy crap! Boston is a city of top-notch universities!! Figure it out!!!
Elizabeth Waren has a plan for that...
By O-FISH-L
Tue, 03/24/2020 - 12:03pm
n/t
The Central Park Reservoir in
By anon
Tue, 03/24/2020 - 12:31pm
The Central Park Reservoir in NYC has had a one way rule for years, due to general crowding and traffic flow. And they go counterclockwise.
There even used to be one of the old cutout one way signs on the fence. So this rule might have existed in the 1960s. Other former examples: https://forgotten-ny.com/2017/03/one-way-1999/
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