Man launches fast to get Faneuil Hall's name changed

Bleep you Patrick Carr, Samuel Gray, Samuel Maverick, and James Caldwell, you guys aren't as politically convenient for us to feel good right now, despite being killed too for the same cause (or being drunk guys egging on and throwing crap at the cops too, like Crispus)?

big up. did peter buy crispus. name change sounds justified.

Slavery is how he “built his fortune”?

And I'm not offended.

Thanks, I've been looking for a good example to illustrate "Reductio ad Absurdum".

This is really something. A masterwork of confused history, false equivalencies, intentionally disingenuous points, we-can't-fix-everything-so-let's-give-up-and-fix-nothing, and the odd bit of ironic racism. I'm glad you spent some time on this, though, because it's way easier to point this out to someone unfamiliar with the personalities around here, than it is to round up a bunch of other links.

It's lunchtime, I'll go through everything point by point, to provide some--what was it?--original thought and wit?

Winthrop Square - Boston, Winthrop Street - Roxbury, the Town of Winthrop. Jonathan Winthrop owned three native American Slaves.

He sure did. He was also kind of a dick, from all historical record. Let's rename the square and the street; the town will probably never cave to pressure about it, but that doesn't mean we can't try.

Franklin Street - Boston, The Town of Franklin - Franklin owned two slaves and his paper sold ad for slaves.

And then he recanted his beliefs, joined an abolitionist society or three, and freed the two slaves he owned. Not everyone emerges into the world fully woke, but we welcome late converts as well.

Derne Street - Named for the Battle of Denra - An American attempt to start dominating the Middle East through colonial activism.

This is pretty thin gruel, but sure. The Battle of Derna was the decisive fight in the first Barbary War, in which barbary corsairs captured merchant ships and enslaved their crews. To the extent that contemporary morality can be applied to things like early-19th-century colonial powers fighting against each other, I'm going to take the side fighting against piracy and slavery.

Congress Street - Congress for years failed to abolish slavery.

Please go to your room and think about what you have done.

Adams Square (The old name for the site in front of Fanueil Hall) Named for Samuel Adams who failed to convince his cousin President John Adams to abolish slavery.

Ah, I see we've abandoned the conceit that we're talking about renaming things named after historical figures who were actual shitheads, and now we're just going to play Calvinball with Boston's historical elite. I haven't convinced my cousin to stop using meth; does this disqualify me from anything?

Hanover Street and the Town of Hanover - Named for the British Royal House whose troops killed Crispus Attucks and the apparently 4 much less significant guys on State Street.

Agreed. Let's return it to its original name, Orange Tree Lane, and hope no one mistakes it for homage to the current occupant of the White House,.

The Town of Royalston - Named for Isaac Royal - A man who kept slaves in Medford.

Yeah, he was also a shithead. I doubt we're going to get a town that's 99% white to agree to the name change, but tally-ho!

Boylston Street - Joshua Boylston of Brookline owned slaves.

Agreed. No idea why the city is so obsessed with this guy.

Jackson Square in JP/Roxbury - Well, yup, he was a jackarse of the highest order. Change that.

Wrong Jackson. It's named after Henry Jackson, a Revolutionary War general who does not appear to have owned slaves.

Malcolm X Boulevard - Named for a petty thief who did time in the Charlestown Prison. Sorry, scratch that, we can't hold one man responsible for a period where he did something wrong and against the mores of society. That would not be right.

And this is where we reach the end of our journey. Why don't you get yourself an "All Lives Matter" sign and hang it proudly in your front yard, so that your real-life neighbors can have the same insight into your beliefs as we few privileged UHubbers.