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The shit male candidates don't have to deal with
By adamg on Wed, 08/21/2019 - 6:12pm
Hélène Vincent is running for the District 8 (Back Bay, Beacon Hill, Fenway, Mission Hill) city-council seat that Josh Zakim is giving up. Last night, she posted a photo of a stairway in an apartment or condo building and, in a series of tweets, reported:
"Can I count on your vote?"
"Yes, if no one knocks on the door who's more attractive" - said by a 77 year old man wearing an open bathrobe and no pants...
People ask me what the hardest part of running for office. I’ll be honest, it’s not the long hours. It’s not the fundraising,
It’s dealing with shit like this every single day and still finding the courage to go knock another door. Usually, I force myself to get right back on the horse and keep going. But today, for some reason, I literally just can’t.
All I want to do is just sit in this stairwell and give up.
Of course, if I do that, nothing will change. People won’t take women or young people seriously and it’ll be the same old story. As AOC said: “For 1 of us to make it through, 100 of us have to try.”
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Comments
How could you not take a
How could you not take a candidate seriously who uses vocabulary like “shit” when they write. She sounds more like a cranky pants as opposed to a serious candidate for any seat. I just knew it would be a great post since Adam used the ever so professional term “crap” in his headlines. How old are we?
Thank you for the great example
Of exactly the type of misogynistic bullshit she has to deal with everyday. Not really sure we *needed* an example, mind you...
Oh, and really, "cranky pants"? Yeah, that's a mature critique...
Dear Condescending Git
Instead of playing little OMG FOUL LANGUAGE OMG games, why the fucking hell don't you stop and think for a minute how much your being male and white makes it so that you never have to put up with this SHIT?
Oh, wait - empathy is an advanced emotional state. It requires understanding what others have to live with, not declaring that what you can't see doesn't happen.
Hey, Swirly, its been awhile...
how about you and others stop painting all white males as those who "do not have to put up with this shit?" I'm sure many "white" males have to put up with a lot of shit, including putting up with folks like you who make white male bashing a hobby. (Although I digress, I know of many white males in my family who had and have a lot of shit to deal with in their lives. Ok, so they are not getting cat called, but shit is shit, correct?) It is getting old, worn and tired.
You speak about empathy? LOL!! Really? Where is yours, my friend?
you live in a privileged dream
When young women complain about these occurrences, I realize how far we have come (and how far we have to go). This kind of sexual harassment was once so common to me, i never thought about complaining. Because, 1. you can't complain more than once or you be that woman that complains about everything, 2. I was so focused on whether they lunged at me, I would be relieved if they merely exposed themselves. Please don't confuse me with an apologist, these things are not ok. I am grateful that young women expect to be treated fairly, and I am changing my mindset to support them.
You flunked first grade math, right?
Indeed it is. So...try to keep up...take the "lot of shit" that your white males put up with, and add to it racism, sexism, misogyny, homophobia, islamophobia, xenophobia, etc. -- and you have what?
MORE SHIT.
Shit that the white males in your family don't have to deal with.
Which was exactly Swirly's point, and which you would have seen, but you saw the words "white male" instead and your head exploded.
Yes. It. Is. You really have no idea.
Really?
"Indeed it is. So...try to keep up...take the "lot of shit" that your white males put up with, and add to it racism, sexism, misogyny, homophobia, islamophobia, xenophobia, etc. -- and you have what?
MORE SHIT.
Shit that the white males in your family don't have to deal with."
I, for one, am a while male that has had to put up with homophobia. There's a couple of us. Just so you know.
Say hello to Trump 2.0
Blaming every person with light skin and a penis for all the evil in the world gets old - even to a few people without penises, but with light skin. This is why large numbers of them voted for his Orangeness.
You may not like it - but take a step back and listen to yourself - racism, sexism, misandry, heterophobia, christophobia, xenophilia etc. isn't going to win over any Trump supporters - it only makes them stronger and more convinced of their righteousness.
And this is why 35% of the country literally could still vote for TCO (The Chosen One) even if he shot someone at high noon on Broadway. Add in another 10-15% of the country that is afraid of the Bernie Bros and his progressive offspring - and you quickly get to the roughly 47% of the national vote needed to say hello to Orange is the new second term president (as long as that 47% is distributed to the right states).
Now that's some first grade math.
*facepalm*
"People who call people out for their shitty racism are the REAL racists. Also misandry is totally a real problem, and not just something I made up in my head because my simplistic view of the world demands there be be two equal, opposite sides in every situation" -- delusional shitheels who will vote for Trump to pwn the libs, even though they're voting against their own interests
Really?? Did you read the original comment?
Where did Whyaduck make a racist comment - or any of the other things lbb is accusing him/her of? lbb went after Whyaduck for having the audacity to say that not all white males live lives of caviar and champagne and eternal pleasure so he is therefore a racist, sexist, misogynistic etc.
And that's the point - if you keep calling other people names based on their race, gender, religion etc., at some point they circle the wagons and vote for idiots like his Royal Orangeness because with all his faults, he recognizes that most of these people are just trying to get by and the world hasn't handed them everything on a silver platter. The fact that he recognizes this appeals to them. Trying to tell people fighting like the rest of us to simply put a meal on the table that due to an accident of birth they are automatically terrible human beings gets old after a while and they push back.
Those who forget history (if you can already call 2016 history) are destined to repeat it. The math to Trump 2.0 is simple and your attitudes are adding multiplication to my addition.
Haaaaahahahaha
Wow dude, didn't your mother spank you for telling whoppers like that? What a shameless liar you are. Your nose must be two feet long.
Won't someone--ANYONE--
think of the poor benighted white guys, and the cross they must bear?
Whyaduck
You are back apologizing for men again!
Your real name ain't Ghislaine, is it?
Hmmm
Naw ... whyaduck is an everyday suckup enabler of male entitlement. That's why she still has to commute. Ghasoline is a weapons-grade wealthy pedophile enabler, and that's why she still lives in mansions not her own.
Lol
Ironic from someone with the username "Republican".
I guess we shouldn't take Trump seriously, then.
Oopsies
Sorry about that. I've changed the headline to reflect what she's actually putting up with. Thanks for pointing it out.
You seem unhappy here
Have you considered
trollinggracing a different news site with your presence? Cause the rest of us here are getting pretty tired of your shit.Sorry, "poop." Wouldn't want my point adulterated because you got all het up over people offending your delicate sensibilities.
It’s just locker room talk.
It’s just locker room talk. Jeez!
You mean like this?
You mean like "shithole countries"?
Doesn't count
Trump can't write
Oh indeed
Most of us are old enough to be more disturbed about the shit this woman put up with than the fact that she used the entirely appropriate word "shit" to describe it.
You and the mouse in your pocket, on the other hand, are positively FUCKING ancient, evidently having been born sometime in the 19th century, in which you are still stuck.
Go kick rocks, pig.
Maleness
I recently heard a female nominee for the Parole Board make a similar claim about the way she was treated, and how it might be different if she were male.
She should have checked out the makeup of the Parole Board, there is only one male on it.
This tweet will probably end her career, but if not it is pretty clear she will have no interest in representing her constituents
Show...
...receipts.
And while you're at it, explain what "representing her constituents" would mean for a member of the Parole Board.
Shocking
that a right-winger would be so triggered over the word "shit", yet shrugs off some old dude airing out his cock during a canvass. I mean, god forbid a woman says something unbecoming.
/s
You god damn hypocrite. Your
You god damn hypocrite. Your pathetic party elected a trust fund brat who bragged about sexually assaulting women.
"Grab them by the pussy...I moved on her like a bitch"
-Donald Three Failed Marriages Trump
Well
Seriously? You have republican as your tag and you're glomming on to someone using the word "shit?"
Have you been paying any attention to what the republican orange disaster in the white house says or has said?
Seems like maybe you haven't.
Yes we do
I've knocked doors in Mass, NH, and Maine. I've seen plenty of man-nips, and several woman-nips. I've seen robes not closed. I've seen people in all sorts of what-the-hell-are-you-doing-opening-the-door-in-that-state-of-undress.
And yes, I've been blatantly harassed, by both men and women, in ways that were way out of bounds.
Not as often as happens to women though there's no way it happens to H. Vincent "every single day." Did I feel vulnerable or fear for my safety? Only twice (mean dude in Mass, very touchy lady with gun visible from doorway in NH).
To say male candidates or canvassers don't have to deal with it is simply not true. Not as often, not as severe, not as terrifying. But men are victims to sexual harassment and sexual assault more than never.
Good grief...
Never considered the NH door knocking experience... that takes confidence... Somerville was fun... mostly...
I ran for office
I ran for city council in Chelsea a few years ago. (I dropped out due to day job issues). Since I'm a guy I can't relate to the women issues but I do know something about campaigning...
The worst part was knocking on doors. I could do city gatherings (i.e. Taste of Chelsea or ChelYEAH) cuz its easier to talk to people. But randomly knocking on doors is a daunting task, in general no matter what sex it is.
For me, I also live in a heavily latino district so a big burly white guy with a beard comes knocking on your door, you'll likely not get much of an answer. Then the ones that DO answer, are annoyed you knocked, and you're bothering them.
And much like Ms Vincent has experienced, I've seen and heard alot too. My fav was the down right racism in my district. Its like hello... all your neighbors are latino and you're a racist. Ah man...time to move if you feel that way.
And yeah I've seen naked people, drugged out people (a kid answered the door and mom was zoned out on the sofa), people that clearly had issues, and many more. It was eye opening to say the least.
The bottom line.. door knocking is the single most reason why I did not decide to try to re-run this year. I just could not do it, it's very tough. I can't imagine what it's like for a woman...
Trying Knock On Doors If You are Black
Did NH back in 2008, would not dream about doing so today. It does teach you that a large part of the population has a pretty slim grip on reality. And I am male. Still my sympathy is with the candidate. That shit is just wrong.
That's right
It's not about you...
...so you get right in there and MAKE IT ABOUT YOU!!!
...because no one knows more about how much women are harassed than a man.
I'm sure you know exactly
I'm sure you know exactly what H. Vincent goes through "every single day." It can and does happen to women every.single.day.
And yes men do get assaulted and harassed but nowhere near the numbers that women do. Doesn't make it any less horrible but here is some knowledge for you.
https://www.rainn.org/statistics/victims-sexual-violence
Hey you knocked
On HIS door, don’t knock on it again if you don’t like it.
Trying to score a few pity votes.
Oh yeah
Yeah, what right did she have to interrupt him in the middle of his daily self gratification workout.
/S
This
...is why we can't have nice things. Because of uncivilized baboons like you who feel entitled to treat other people in dehumanizing ways for your own gratification.
Huh
Step 1: run for local office and be subjected to disgusting misogyny, then subject yourself to even more disgusting misogyny from randos on UHub when you tweet about it to your 467 followers
Step 2: ???
Step 3: win the election!
Huh?
You don't have to open your door because someone knocked at an inconvenient time.
Courtesy demands that you don't if you aren't dressed. Doing so while undressed is antisocial, and results from your antisocial behavior. It isn't forced by the door knocker.
Love to hear your excuses about how you were "forced" to rape someone though.
Sheesh.
To be honest
If her or a male candidate knocked on my door during dinner I’d tell both them to fuck right off.
This may have been this gentleman’s way of doing so.
Have you asked a woman about random displays of penises?
I suspect you'd get a different answer than the one you've made up for yourself.
But here's the thing
Does she (or do you) really think that when she arrived at his door, he was fully clothed, then as quick as a bunny ditched the trousers and the tighty whities because, well, female canvasser?
When I first read the writeup, I saw the point in that there's no way that either Montez Hayward or Landon Lemoine would be told that someone would vote for him unless a better looking candidate showed up. That said, I would guess that if either of them showed up at the address 10 minutes on either side of Ms. Vincent, they'd have found out what this guy's junk looked like as well.
To summarize, there were two different breaches of protocol. The comment was the sexist one. The lack of pants was a common decency one that could happen to anyone. And trust me, most guys don't want to see a random guy's penis.
Waquoit is Waqoiting again
It's a subspecies of sea lioning.
Did anyone say or suggest that.
Think about your discomfort with this story and your immediate, learned response to alleviate your discomfort by claiming that it didn't happen, it didn't mean that, it wasn't harmful, GO AWAY GO AWAY GO AWAY.
That's you. It's what you do. ALWAYS.
Well
Adam suggested that.
nope
He was wearing a bathrobe. Bathrobes open and close easily and quickly. It is your presumption that said robe would be open no matter who was at the door. You are wrong about that.
I do believe
That my presumption that the bathrobe would be open if a male canvasser was at the door is as valid as the presumption that it would be closed in that case.
Again, the only clear thing is that the line about voting for her unless someone better looking comes along was most definitely sexist.
It is a valid presumption of
It is a valid presumption of male privilege. Keep doubling down, sea lion.
I'll leave it at this
I know just about as much about being a woman as you know about being a man.
yes, exactly. The point is
yes, exactly. The point is you don't have to understand men, to count how often this happens.
How often this happens...
to men?
Again, men experience what men experience. Women experience what women experience. Sometimes it's different, while other times it's the same.
insufferable
what did you possibly get out of this exchange?
you arrive at the point that was easy to arrive at in the first place. men experience what men experience women experience what women experience. which is why she told you what she experienced. the dude experienced whipping his d out at a lady at his front door and whatever pleasure derives from that. she experienced the obvious gross discomfort that goes along with seeing an unwanted strangers d#ick, which is what she expressed.
and you spent post after post trying to say that this dude who showed his c#ck to this woman at his door would do the same thing if it was a guy. to what end do you make that argument? goddamn that's absurd.
you are just getting owned over and over and over again chief. might want to give it a rest. this is insanity.
It happens less to men. In
It happens less to men. In the case of sexual harassment, it happens to men less.
Well, yeah
Flashers (who are almost always male, and I say almost on that outside possibility that there was a female flasher once) always flash women, but this is not exactly a case of a flasher.
why are you bothering us if
why are you bothering us if you don't agree with your prior ridiculous comments?
I don't disagree
And if you bothered to read my comments, you'd see that I was keying in on the idea that it's pretty ludicrous to think that this guy would have tied up the robe if a guy showed up. My theory is that the guy just walks around with an open bathrobe and no undies (or pants for that matter) and that Vincent was just the wrong person to ring the bell. Why does the guy sit around his house in a bathrobe and no undies? No clue. Heck, maybe he was coming from the bathroom, but it's a stretch to say that that element of the interaction was driven by gender.
Flashing is a more active act. One approaches the victim and does his thing. This is passive.
By the way, drawing from a theme of comments between the two of us, what's the deal with you saying I shouldn't be commenting. Sounds like censorship to me.
You are wrong about how
You are wrong about how likely it is that a man expose himself to a woman as opposed to a man. It is not passive, as he knows that someone is at the front door. Your logic doesn't connect, as usual.
Here comes the next sea lion trick, playing the victim. Asking you to justify your double-talking comment is not censorship.
just stop.
except that's not what happened.
a woman showed up at his door and this dude exposed himself to her and she wrote about how it made her feel. end of story. there is not more. no dude showed up next to write about his feelings of disgust and objectification. she did because she was there and experienced it. it's her story. why are you so intent on taking that away and making it something else? why not just let it be what it is? a story about this woman's experience and how uncomfortable it was/is.
all hail Waquiot
i'm sure she'll be glad to hear that you, the adjudicator of all questionable male-female interactions in the known universe and any other, have deemed at least one of her complaints valid.
Well Landon wouldn't have seen the dude's junk
either 10 minutes before or 10 minutes after as he dropped out of the race (unless, of course, he's just randomly knocking doors for no reason).
I highly doubt he would have
I highly doubt he would have done that to a male.
Ugh, the public - disgusting!
Hopefully she gets elected so she doesn't have to interact with these people living in her district anymore.
lol
well that's certainly not a total mischaracterization of what she said or anything
I think...
I think it's making an irrelevant commentary on the (un)responsiveness of elected officials. IOW, it's not so much taking a stab at her as that he read "blah blah blah SOMEONE RUNNING FOR OFFICE" and got triggered by memories of the time when Councilor Jimmy Sullivan didn't return its call in 1972 about those noisy kids.
I always thought "ignore"
I always thought "ignore" buttons were just silly, but I've changed my mind.
This poster really has nothing better to do, i'm assuming.
The statement that the worst
The statement that the worst part about running for office is going door-to-door talking to people (fundraising) seems like an extremely tone-deaf thing to say, even with the jackassery of the old man in the anecdote. It also implies that once fundraising is no longer necessary, she won't have to interact with commoners for a while. In a more widely-followed campaign, this would be a gaffe. Someone who wouldn't last a week in the service industry before they "literally just can't" perhaps "literally just shouldn't" be running for public office (they would say).
So... good anecdote, good message at the end, but framed all wrong for someone seeking to serve the public.
Fundraising?
Of all the things people have injected into her comments, fundraising is the oddest one.
She's going door to door to convince people to vote for her. That's the first rule of running for office- ask people to vote for you. Trust me, of all the people who have come to my door over the year either as candidates or their surrogates, none of them has ever asked me for money, but they all ask for my vote.
Only she didn't say that
Only she didn't say that. At all. She said that "dealing with shit like this every single day and still finding the courage to go knock another door" -- not, as in your dishonest paraphrase, "going door-to-door talking to people" (which, by the way, is not "fundraising" - it's canvassing, and they are very different things) is "the hardest part of running for office" -- not, as in you said, "the worst part about running for office".
YOU said it. YOU manufactured it. By changing a few key words, omitting some important words, and adding some of your own to put your intended spin on it, you came up with a statement that is very different than what she said. Then you ran with it.
Yeah, well...you keep demonstrating your ignorance of the entire process, so maybe you should stop handing out advice.
How'd she know he's 77?
Awfully precise...
canvassing
The voter file is public info, so she would have known not only his age but also his name.
If you knocked doors...
You’d know that age and name are listed for each address in a packet.
Aaaah, lunchbox
...doing another faceplant as he desperately searches for a way to blame the victim.
lunchboxes never change.
lol
@ the keyboard sleuths proving her point. don’t you people get tired of being so predictable?
Door knocking..
Door knocking is so antiquated and never was a good tactic in the first place. Organizing events that people can attend if they so choose is a better form of reaching the community.
Speaking from your extensive campaign experience?
Do provide receipts.
Door knocking works
I have never changed a vote based on any kind of advertising, but when someone asks for my vote in person, I am moved to give it serious thought.
In my district's race
Right now my plan is to vote for the only candidate to ask me for my vote, and he asked for it 4 years ago. All any of the other candidates have to do is to go to Forest Hills one morning before the election and ask for my vote, or come to my house some evening.
Unless there is an issue, foot leather can win an election like this.
Cry Me A River
Ok true that that doesn't sound like the most pleasant experience, but it's far from the most valid reason to either give up, or to not enter politics in the first place, which is the fact that your friends are false and your enemies are real.
Take a seat
This was not the first "[not] most pleasant experience" of this type she's had, or the fifth, or the tenth, or probably the hundredth. You've made it clear that you're only a spectator in the political process, so why don't you just take a seat?
Really? She has to deal with this "shit" everyday?
Ok, every time she knocks at someone's door, they, if a man, appears before her in a state of undress? Or every man she encounters makes a statement about her looks?
Give a rest, sweetie.
Look, the guy is three years away from 80 (gawd knows if he is addled). He is of a different time/era and/or he could just be a dirty old man (they exist).
You deal with the public, you will get all the public has to offer.
Being old is not an excuse to
Being old is not an excuse to be an ass. I'm tired of people excusing bad behavior from people who haven't adapted with the times. Guess what? Just because they are used to doing and saying these things doesn't mean it was ever actually ok. It just means that no one called them out on it. Thankfully, times are changing.
"sweetie"?
You sound addled yourself.
Best argument ever for crusty old white dudes to maintain the world as fits their mindset that I've heard yet. NOT.
No, honey baby
You give the enabling a rest, okay dear?
Good.
I know a some alcoholics who would think you were their dream girl - excuses a gogo!
WhatAboutMe-isms
A lot of whataboutme-isms going on here. This story isn't about what white males have to deal with. It's about women, and the constant shit they have deal with thanks to men (black, white, and everything in between), who don't respect boundaries nor have any common decency.
Door knockers
The most surprising part of this story, to me, was that politicians knock on doors. I've been around a long time (old guy) and actually didn't know that -- I've gotten phone calls from them, rarely, asking for a vote... but the only people who ever knock on my apartment door are kids trying to sell me on a different electricity supplier (or so they claim), or workmen sent by the landlord to make changes to the apartment that I don't want or need. Or, once, late at night, a drunk kid from another town who couldn't remember where his friend's apartment was that he was staying in, or even which building it was, and was banging on every door, bellowing. That's it for my door-knocker experiences.
I think a political candidate knocking on doors sounds really inefficient, also weird. Is this a suburban thing or something?
Also, how thoughtful could a politician be who uses language like that? And how could she be sure that he even knew that he was exposed? This was in his own home, after all, not expecting anyone to knock, maybe startled by it (as I might be). Maybe he is a creep, or maybe he's just sloppy/inattentive, or maybe demented...
Wrong on all counts
Nope. It happens in cities, it happens in suburbs. It happens, primarily, in places where you can walk door to door and hit a reasonable number of residences in the shortest time possible. It doesn't happen in really low-density-population areas, although when I was canvassing in 2016 in New Hampshire it did get pretty rural...but mostly not.
And it's not inefficient because it's effective. If all contacts were equal in their effectiveness, sure, but...they aren't. People are more likely to notice, respond to and be influenced by some types of contacts than others. Emails are less effective than postcards, anything form is less effective than something personal. Postcard parties, in which people get together to write messages on postcards to send to voters, are effective. Talking live to a person on the phone is effective - I made calls to voters in my town and other nearby towns on behalf of a candidate, and being able to say that I was from their area and speak to what the candidate's policies meant for our area was a real positive. Talking to someone face to face is even more effective, and when someone actually meets a candidate in person? That's pretty special. I canvassed with a candidate for Congress, and besides knocking on doors, she would greet and engage everyone we passed by on the street. Some of these people went from unregistered to voters that day.
How thoughtful could a person be who thinks the use of the word "shit" is more than the barbaric behavior provoked it? You're "Different" all right.
Apparently she has eyes, and apparently you are blind.
There's a lot more where that
There's a lot more where that came from. He's not the only guy pushing 80 with 1940s comments like that. These guys aren't going to change overnight. And, frankly, as woman in her mid 50s who has the wisdom to understand that, especially with older men, she's going to experience a lot more of it. At their age, they could probably give 2 shits about changing. There will never be a radical change overnight when it comes to sexist comments. Sorry, but that's the reality.
"Sorry"
Do you honestly think she doesn't know that?
Do you think your take is at all helpful? Sounds enabling to me.
Could you possibly be more condescending?
Also worth noting, from her campaign Website:
"She is running to make Boston inclusive, accessible, and affordable for all."
Cool! I wish I'd thought of that! Can we have candy for dinner too?
Saying that being a "daughter of immigrants" (without saying from where) and suffering an ATV-related injury (which, along with other backcountry powersports-related injuries, is a HUGE hazard for immigrants) as qualifications for public office seems somewhat thin. But please, everyone, pile on. Swirl, anyone?
Hey, it's Captain Cherrypicker!
Why does that bother you? Do you need to know "from where" in order to decide if she's one of the "good immigrants"?
So in the very same sentence, made a point of noting that she's the "daughter of immigrants", and now you imply that SHE is an immigrant. You're either pretty goddamn stupid or you believe everyone else is. Maybe both?
Here's the full text from her campaign website, explaining the relevance of the ATV injury:
Even a very stupid person should be able to make the connection, since it's right there in front of you. If, however, you aren't interested in making the connection -- if instead your agenda is disconnection, distraction and dishonesty -- and you're stuck at the mental level of a five-year-old who thinks he's clever because he thought of a way to own the four-year-olds, this kind of transparent cherrypicking makes all kinds of sense.
3 days after seeing Uhub story, Globe reporter is right on it
https://www.bostonglobe.com/metro/2019/08/23/the-naked-truth-about-campa...