With the new year about to chime, here are T headlines that rhyme

Here are all of Universal Hub's rhyming T-delay headlines for 2016. These represent only the finest, choicest, most awful of delays - regular riders will know their commutes slow a lot more than what's listed here (plus, I didn't use rhymes for delays caused by things such as people getting hit by trains, and I admit I was somewhat remiss in my coverage of commuter-rail delays, as any Fitchburg Line rider could tell you). Some of these rhymes are really bad; in the year to come, will try to make them hum.

January

• Orange Line riders' woes mount as train stops, goes down for the count, 1/4/16
• Car on the track, now that's whack, 1/4/16Track problems to the south and the north mean that some riders can't just sally forth, 1/5/16
• Trolleys go kaput, can riders go on foot?, 1/5/16
• Ashmont Line is down, riders gonna frown, 1/5/16
• Winter happens, the T said; Red Line delays just spread, 1/5/16
• Winter happens at North Station; riders sigh and go 'tarnation!', 1/5/16
• Late trains, short trains giving Worcester Line riders lots of pains, 1/6/16
• Train dies at North Quincy station, riders suffer yet more privation, 1/6/16
• Dead train at JFK/UMass proves a royal pain in the ass, 1/7/16
• Green Line signal problems at night; they make the trip home really bite, 1/7/16
• Franklin Line loco dies before Boston; would this sort of thing happen in Austin?, 1/8/16
• Another train from Haverhill is dead; weary riders wish they could have fled, 1/11/16
• Signal problems hit Red Line once more, please stop me if you've heard that before, 1/12/16
• A Wellesley broken rail causes Worcester Line fail, 1/12/16
• Signal problems begin to wear; this time they're at Central Square, 1/12/16
• Orange Line train at Haymarket expired; it's way past time for it to be retired, 1/13/16
• Trolley lies in state at Brookline Village; riders too tired to rampage and pillage, 1/14/16
• Greenbush train dies due to air leak; riders' forecast is looking bleak, 1/14/16
• On the Red Line, whack track is back; riders' mood quickly turns to black, 1/15/16
• Things are not so fine on the Orange Line, 1/15/16
• When it gets cold, some trains just fold, 1/19/16
• Trains die on Orange and Red; the delays begin to spread, 1/20/16
• Orange Line trains not just croaking, now they're smoking, 1/21/16
• Orange Line riders not looking for frills; just want trains that don't die at Forest Hills, 1/22/16
• Another train from Haverhill is dead; riders once more are seeing red, 1/22/16
• Red Line signals are defective; Red Line commute is ineffective, 1/22/16
• Red Line slow due to work on the Longfellow; riders just want to shout and bellow, 1/25/16
• Once again, Red Line delays grow; not the bridge, now signals blow, 1/26/16
• Amtrak signal woes slow more than one train; many riders from the south feel the pain, 1/26/16
• Signal problems laid to Amtrak means delays from Stoughton are back, 1/27/16
• Part of the Braintree line is dead; reason will have you scratching your head, 1/28/16
• Riverside trolley derails; for riders, no happy trails, 1/30/16
• At Haymarket, train up and dies; who will hear riders' cries?, 1/30/16

February

• Trains halt on Orange and Red; Bones exclaims: Yes, Jim, they're dead, 2/2/16
• Orange Line tracks having issues; crying riders break out the tissues, 2/3/16
• Guess we spoke too soon: Red Line shut about noon, 2/5/16On D Line, wires causing trouble; there goes that good-luck bubble, 2/5/16
• Dead train at Haymarket station; bad news for MBTA nation, 2/10/16
• At North Station, it's cram and jam; some forced to say, 'excuse me, ma'am', 2/10/16
• A Worcester Line train faces delay; sleeping homeless man's feet in the way, 2/11/16
• Red Line train passes away; at this point, almost a cliche, 2/12/16
• Trains fold in the cold, 2/14/16
• Commuter rail delays not nice; at some stations, also ice, 2/16/16
• Massive delays on the Providence Line; if you blame Amtrak, that'd be fine, 2/16/16
• All commuter lines to South Station are dead, Amtrak signal woes have riders seeing red, 2/18/16
• T delays are just stunning: Now the Red Line's stopped running, 2/18/16
• Red Line on Longfellow really jerky; riders on trains not feeling so perky, 2/24/16
• Once again, the Red Line's slow; trains sit, barely go, 2/24/16
• Stuck on a train with no lights just sitting in Worcester in the rain, 2/24/16
• Problems on Orange and Blue; well, OK, what else is new?, 2/25/16
• On the Blue Line, T forced to do manual switching, so riders can get to work without too much bitching, 2/29/16

March

• A train that perished in Eastie made Blue Line ride a real beastie, 3/2/16
• Signal problems before JFK mean it's going to be that kind of day, 3/3/16Signal problems bedevil D Line; so bad even one driver utters whine, 3/4/16
• Train dies on the Orange Line; for your commute, a bad sign, 3/14/16
• Green Line trolley dies at Park Street; time for riders to use their feet, 3/15/16
• Rainy Ruggles, 3/15/16
• Green Line can't go past Copley Square; riders don't find that very fair, 3/17/16
• Signal problems force Red Line to slow; for riders, that just means more woe, 3/18/16
• Switch problems on the Orange Line at Forest Hills, riders have plenty of time to write out their wills, 3/18/16
• Orange Line train is kaput downtown; every rider now wears a big frown, 3/22/16
• At Alewife, the tracks quit switching; everybody, start your bitching, 3/24/16
• B Line shut by flaming trash; riders' teeth start to gnash, 3/24/16
• Red Line delayed due to door that got stuck; riders respond with word something like 'guck', 3/24/16

April

• Tree is down at Chestnut Hill, D Line riders know the drill, 4/3/16
• At rush hour, Orange and Red Lines a hot mess, riders have some time for a game of chess, 4/4/16
• Red Line commute becomes a bear when train dies at Harvard Square, 4/8/16
• Just in time for first Sox home game, the Riverside Line pulls up lame, 4/11/16
• Orange Line riders get no satisfaction; a train took its last breath and died at Jackson, 4/12/16
• Broken signals shut South Station; passengers stew in frustration, 4/17/16
• Just in time for the evening rush hour, lights at two stations lost their power, 4/21/16
• Some people's rides become a chore, when a trolley dies at Kenmore, 4/24/16
• Deceased train at Chinatown makes a lot of riders frown, 4/24/16
• A dead trolley makes commute a folly, 4/26/16
• Delays on the Orange Line were stunning, when one train simply stopped running, 4/26/16
• Orange Line riders have a Wellington beef: A dead train there is causing them grief, 4/27/16
• T tells Orange Line riders: Don't be a whiner, those switch delays are minor, 4/28/16
• Red Line to Braintree delayed, riders' nerves get frayed, 4/30/16

May

• Power problems at Copley turn commute into big flopley, 5/2/16
• Train goes kaput at Stony Brook station, and riders wish they were on vacation, 5/4/16
• Worcester Line slows to a crawl; signals in Wellesley take the fall, 5/4/16
• Red Line stalled due to guy with possible sword; riders hope he's really above board, 5/5/16
• It's curtains for a Haverhill Line diesel; was it shorted out by a weasel?, 5/6/16
• Green Line in Brighton stopped due to car; Sorry, BC students, you won't get far, 5/9/16
• Red Line stopped due to bank robber; somebody riders would love to clobber, 5/9/16
• In Allston, another car jumps on the tracks; B Line riders face delays to the max, 5/12/16
• Dead train at Alewife means fail, strife, 5/12/16
• Truck strikes bridge on Franklin Line; the commute home is anything but fine, 5/12/16
• B Line trolley is broke; it spits sparks and smoke, 5/13/16
• Riders forced to go 'tut tut' when train dies at Shawmut, 5/16/16
• Green Line riders hit by glitch; something wrong with Park Street switch, 5/23/16
• At Brookline Hills, trolley stops dead, what riders think best left unsaid, 5/23/16
• Lowell Line riders know it really bites when there's a problem with signal lights, 5/24/16
• The Needham Line is so late, you can get coffee while you wait, 5/27/16
• It's no joke when a train starts to smoke, 5/31/16
• At least it wasn't smoking, but train at Assembly was croaking, 5/31/16

June

• Signal problems make the Orange Line slow; riders shake heads, go no, no, no, 6/9/16
• At Malden Center, a train is dead; riders once again are seeing red, 6/15/16
• Green Line riders asked to start walking because of a train that started balking, 6/17/16
• Dead trolley at Cedar Grove makes some people wish they'd drove, 6/22/16
• Red Line riders under duress; cable fire making service a mess, 6/24/16
• MBTA gonna get some flack because D Line track is all out of whack, 6/25/16
• D Line once more slows, yes, it has more woes, 6/26/16
• Train gives up ghost at Alewife; for riders, it's their morning strife, 6/28/16
• Driver tries to cut off a trolley; riders now paying for her folly, 6/29/16

July

• Something goes terribly wrong at Porter, now the Red Line ride a complete snorter, 7/1/16
• Wires fry, riders cry, 7/6/16
• Red Line riders now paying more, but trains still die just like before, 7/7/16
• Kenmore signal delays leave C, D riders in a daze, 7/15/16
• Dead trolley at Hynes causing problems on B, C and D lines, 7/16/16
• Green Line ride no lark due to dead train at Park, 7/18/16
• Orange Line riders will have trouble getting into town due to a train that just plumb broke down, 7/18/16
• A tree falls, D Line stalls, 7/18/16
• Signal problems in Dorchester making Red Line commute a patience tester, 7/18/16
• Flatlined trolley near Copley Square turns commute into a nightmare, 7/19/16
• Just a little Red Line trash fire, driver says not so dire, 7/20/16
• Green Line halted by a live wire; at least there wasn't any fire, 7/25/16
• Red Line trains come to a halt; guy throwing stuff on tracks at fault, 7/25/16
• Problems at Copley on the Green Line mean the ride home anything but fine, 7/28/16
• Commuters get no prize when Red Line train up and dies, 7/28/16
• The old Red Line is going nowhere fast; these delays probably won't be the last, 7/30/16

August

• Green Line commute no lark due to dead train at Park, 8/1/16
• Orange Line service in a rut, smoke at Mass. Ave. gets it shut, 8/2/16Wonderland is anything but, dead train means there's a service cut, 8/2/16
• Rockport Line riders sad, broken trains now a fad, 8/3/16
• Red Line commute is no treat; there's a dead train at Park Street, 8/5/16
• Downed wire near 128 making many riders wicked late, 8/5/16
• B Line grinds to a halt, a downed wire at fault, 8/5/16
• On days ending in Y, Rockport riders get to sigh, 8/8/16
• People trying to get to Boston from Newburyport can only sit and stew and snort, 8/9/16
• Delays on the Red Line to Braintree, that really sucks, we all can agree, 8/9/16
• Dead Red Line train has few perks, but at least the AC works, 8/11/16
• Newburyport Line under a curse; riders wonder if it could get worse, 8/11/16
• Providence line out of whack; the T says to blame Amtrak, 8/14/16
• The Orange Line losing its shine; trains not getting to end of the line, 8/18/16
• Dead train at Porter turns commute into a real snorter, 8/19/16
• Delays on the Red Line, yup, because a train's gone belly up, 8/31/16

September

• There are problems at Maverick with power, Blue Line riders feeling pretty dour, 9/8/16
• Riders on both Green and Red left with a feeling of dread, 9/12/16
• How many Red Line trains can die before Red Line riders break down and cry, 9/12/16
• Orange Line can't rove due to dead train at Oak Grove, 9/13/16
• A Red Line train dies at Savin Hill, inbound riders forced to chill, 9/13/16
• Commuters left standing at the gate when Framingham train becomes wicked late, 9/13/16
• Red Line riders ready to blow: A train at Central just won't go, 9/15/16
• Red Line service again showing cracks; train from Braintree can't get up the tracks, 9/21/16
• Orange Line train's a no-go, that's why the ride is so slow, 9/21/16
• Chinese trains can't arrive soon enough; Red Line commute once more is tough, 9/22/16
• Red Line rider gets hand stuck in door; commute suddenly becomes a chore, 9/23/16
• Dead train at Back Bay was reason for big delay, 9/28/16

October

• On both Green and Red, trains turn up dead, 10/3/16
• Unmoving Orange Line train downtown causing lots of riders to frown, 10/4/16
• Orange Line slows down. Wonder if it's due to a sighted clown., 10/7/16
• Train sticks to tracks like glue on the Red Line at Andrew, 10/7/16
• Orange Line has problems with power - passengers' commutes are fast going sour, 10/11/16
• Orange Line stops with the clackety-clack-clacks thanks to a man taking a stroll down the tracks, 10/12/16
• Smoke in the tunnel shuts the Orange Line at DTX; smoldering tracks not up to specs, 10/19/16
• And the Red Line is movin' kinda slow, due to Uncle Joe, at the junction, 10/19/16
• Trains canceled on Rockport Line left and right; commuters say they don't deserve this slight, 10/21/16
• Red Line halted due to trash fire, situation for riders kind of dire, 10/23/16
• DTX becomes a vortex of doom: delays on Red, Orange make riders fume, 10/24/16
• Red Line again a mess, lots of riders under stress, 10/24/16
• Red Line ride is once more a slog, it's like the line fell in a bog, 10/25/16
• Delays on the Red Line once more rife due to a train that died at Alewife, 10/26/16
• At least it's not smokin', but a train at Tufts is broken, 10/27/16
• Another Red Line train conks out; riders have to stand there and pout, 10/27/16
• Red Line full of enervation after train dies at North Quincy station, 10/28/16
• This is no lark: Train is dead at Park, 10/28/16
• BC trolley slips off the rails, riders know that means no happy trails, 10/30/16
• On this All Hallow's Eve, Red Line ensures you can't leave, 10/31/16

November

• Red Line passengers forced to disembark when a train pushes up daisies at Park, 11/1/16
• Train dies on the way to Braintree; will riders ever be set free?, 11/4/16
• This will be shocking, we know, but the Orange Line is running slow, 11/4/16
• Red Line gives no quarter, delays due to smoke at Porter, 11/7/16
• Dead trains, signal woes, the T right now kinda blows, 11/8/16
• B riders won't get far, thanks to this guy and his car, 11/9/16
• Red Line riders blanch; dead train on Braintree branch, 11/10/16
• Oh, hey, whadaya say, track woes at Broadway, 11/10/16
• Trolley collides with car, B Line riders not going far, 11/13/16
• Signal problems at Copley makes the Green Line all stoply, 11/15/16
• The B Line is stuck, at least it didn't hit a truck, 11/15/16
• It's enough to drive you to drink: Once more the Red Line is on the blink, 11/15/16
• We can't wait for the new trains to get here; another Red Line train put on a bier, 11/16/16
• Green Line folks not too jolly due to yet another derailed trolley, 11/16/16
• If you haven't already fled, there are problems on Green and Red, 11/17/16
• At this point, it's no surprise: Red Line trains dropping like flies, 11/17/16
• Third time is not a charm; Red Line train buys the farm, 11/17/16
• At least this time it's not a train, but the Red Line is still one big pain, 11/17/16
• The Orange Line comes to a halt; a dead train is at fault, 11/18/16
• Two-car crash throws B Line ride into the trash, 11/21/16
• Orange Line loses its charm when a train buys the farm, 11/21/16
• There's a busted rail at Community College, delays severe, T will acknowledge, 11/22/16
• Just another one of those things in life: Red Line signal woes at Alewife, 11/28/16
• When it comes to Red Line delays, there's something new: Some of last week's woes blamed on 'residual dew', 11/29/16
• Signals at Alewife busted yet again; Red Line riders so not feeling zen, 11/29/16

December

• Alewife signals go on the fritz once more; oh, for those lovely halcyon days of yore, 12/1/16
• You'll never guess why Needham trains were late: Somebody's parking was less than great, 12/1/16
• No, it's not fair: There's a dead train at Central Square, 12/1/16
• Another Red Line train died, numb riders barely cried, 12/2/16
• The truth doesn't need embossing: There's a dead train at Roxbury Crossing, 12/2/16
• No Orange Line delays reported, but some commuters have rides thwarted, 12/5/16
• The theory was brilliant: Let's make the Red Line resilient, 12/5/16
• If only this were very rare: Signal problems near Harvard Square, 12/7/16
• Harvard signals break again, they'll be fixed who knows when, 12/8/16
• Fairmount riders out of luck due to a switch that got stuck, 12/12/16
• Worcester train just dies; are those riders' cries?, 12/14/16
• Morning Red Line commute was no lark due to dead train between Braintree and Park, 12/15/16
• This really bites: Dead train at Orient Heights, 12/15/16
• D Line dead on account of tree, some riders have no place to flee, 12/15/16
• Orange Line train dies at North Station; Means the ride home has a longer duration, 12/15/16
• Commuter rail a mess. Why? Take a guess, 12/16/16
• There's a train near JFK that isn't feeling OK, 12/16/16
• On the BC line not a single trolley; made the commute kind of a folly, 12/16/16
• Situation dire: Green Line roof on fire, 12/17/16